Broken
by Carlisle'sCoven
Summary: Tommy Joe Ratliff is in highschool dealing with a mother who is an alcoholic because his father committed suicide. When a new kid at school shows up, can this new student give Tommy a reason to live. ADAM AND TOMMY; ADOMMY. summary sux! R&R xD
1. A Change is Gonna Come

**DISCLAIMER!**

**Me:** Okay so while I was sitting in the car one day listing to my ipod, I got this crazy idea for a a story involving my two favorite people. Adam Lambert and his Glitterbaby Tommy Joe! And because I got the idea from listing to a song, I've decided to name each chapter with a song title that has lyrics that go along with the chapter. . .

**Adam**: (walks in from the middle of no where, looking as hot as ever) Hey cool! What's it about?

**Me:** (immediately star struck and speechless)…Um…

**Adam:** (devilishly smirks)

**Tommy:** (comes in behind Adam eating a taco)… Adam, dude where did you go?

**Me:** (completely in awe, because Adam and Tommy are standing right in front of me.) .God….

**Tommy: **(sees me staring wide eyed at both him and Adam, and raises his eyebrow)… Who's she?

**Adam: **(looks at me quizzically) What did you say your name was?

**Me:** (stuttering) Ja-Jackie…

**Adam: **(proudly to Tommy) Jackie is writing a story about us.

**Tommy: **(looks at me, mouth full of taco) About what?

**Adam: **(crosses arms) I don't know yet, she was about to explain before you barged in.

**Tommy: **(mouth full, eyes narrow at Adam)

**Adam: **(smiles my direction) Now, what were you saying?

**Me: **(still completely star struck, gazing at them with my mouth hanging open, not saying anything)

**Tommy:** (looks at me worried.) Is she okay?

**Adam: **(purses his lips thinking.) Maybe we should just read it. (takes notebook from my hands.)

**Tommy:** (scarf's rest of the taco.) Okay!

**Me: **(to the readers) I…uh….own nothing…..

* * *

~CHAPTER ONE~

"It's been too hard living, but I'm afraid to die

Cause I don't know what's up there beyond the sky

It's been a long, long time coming,

But I know a change is gonna come, oh yes it will"

–

A Change is Gonna Come

A deafening silence filled the crowded class room to the point of near suffocation. The only sound that could be heard was a sneeze or a cough, both noised though, where scarce. It seemed that every student sitting stiffly in class was afraid to utter a single sound. My ears were even ringing because of the dead air, which was so think I was sure it could be cut with a knife. The entire atmosphere in the class room was heavy, and dual, what else could you expect from a twelfth grade English class? The temperature of the room only added to the torture of high school. Why the school building intended on keeping each room at subzero temperatures was beyond me. Their excuse was that 'It helps keep the students awake.' which I couldn't have been the only one to know that was bull shit. Half the kids in class now were zonked out, drooling all over their fake wooden desks for Christ sake. Meaning the school was wasting their time and money on air conditioning. Of course I even had trouble staying awake, especially during Mrs. Wendell's riveting lectures on 'pronoun antecedent agreement', whatever the hell that was. Most of the time I just zoned out, lost in my own little world, one where I would much rather live in than this fucked up one. I would escape to that place inside my mind every chance I got, where it was me and my guitar, and I was content.

I did my best trying to pay attention even though right now it seemed impossible, but today was one of those days. It didn't help that I woke up in a shitty mood, of course I always woke up that way, it was just worse today. My hair had been a perfectly hideous mess of tangled blond and brown. It had taken me all morning to tame, which for now looked okay. On top of my personal problem, mom had decided to go beige drinking again, leaving her a hung over mess that I had to clean up, but I was used to that.

I couldn't lie anymore, it was too tiring. I used up all my energy acting like everything was okay, my life was fucked up. Plain and simple, there was no way around it, no easier way or less harsh way to put it. It had been ever since my father, Ron, deiced to blow himself away two years ago, after the accident. Ever since that day, I couldn't remember a time when my life seemed remotely normal. I had hoped by now I could say it was getting better, God I wanted to, but I couldn't. Sure I was better now than I was over the summer, those had been the really horrific nights. Not even the drugs could make the nightmares from that time in my life go away. The drugs just added to it all. Living on the streets of East LA was rough. Nothing made those thoughts and images leave, even now they were still there, hiding and lurking deep inside my brain, waiting until the wall would crumble around me again. Like they had after the accident. I could feel the them, those nightmarish thoughts in the back of my mind, they were an annoying itch my finger nails tried to desperately claw away, but could never reach.

For now though, the nightmares had dwindled in frequency. I still had them, like I said, they would be their forever, but the intensities of the dreams were becoming less, and I was actually sleeping most nights. All the ones that I didn't have to go hunting my mother down at the bars or even the allies. Those were the bad days, which were most days sadly. Ever since dad had taken a pistol to his head, she was never the same. She blamed herself, I didn't know why. Ron was unstable; we both knew he was; only the car accident had made it worse. He always had a bad temper that was set off by the slightest little imperfections, but he would never have hurt my mother or me. That was just who he was. The doctors even said that the damage to his brain could make things worse, they had been right. If there was anyone to blame it was the fucking doctors or the drunk driver that hit us. Had the driver not have had a blood alcohol level of .10, and then the damn doctors wouldn't have had to prescribe the depressants that finally got him in the end. If it hadn't have been for those people, then maybe my father wouldn't have committed suicide in our bathroom, and my mother wouldn't drink herself into a drunken stupor every night.

I sighed to myself, releasing all that wasted energy and pain thinking about how shitty my life had turned out to be. Apparently though, my heavy breath caught Mrs. Wendell's attention, as well as the rest of the class. "Mr. Ratliff, would you like to point out what is wrong with sentence number three?" Her beady little eyes bore into me like a thousand tiny knives.

Mrs. Wendell was probably in her mid to late fifties if I had to guess. She was short and pudgy, with glasses that were too small for her round face. Her graying hair was thinning and was in dire need of a new style. On her right arm she wore a skin tone sleeve, resembling a cast that covered her entire hand except for her finger tips. On the first day of school she explained that she was a survivor of lymphoid cancer or something, and that because of the disease she had to wear the sleeve. Without it she had said her entire arm would swell the size of a fucking hippo, which I found amusing.

I looked down at the complex wording on the page in front of me; every letter bunched together making it impossible to read. My vision blurred, and the room fell into one of its unnatural silences that meant every eye in the room was now on you.

"Um. . ." I stalled, scratching the back of my head. How the hell was I supposed to know what was wrong? Why did it matter? By the time I was out of this hell-hole I wouldn't even matter, there is now way I would ever remember any of it. Deciding to save myself from the embarrassment of answering incorrectly I shrugged in my seat. "I don't know." I met her eyes with just as much fire as hers, until she looked away. "Mr. Pittman," she said choosing another victim. "What is wrong with sentence number three?" I smirked to myself having luckily slid out of Wendell's slimy hands.

Monte sat across the room, the third row second desk. I didn't like a lot of people, mainly because I didn't trust anyone, but I had grown up with Monte so it was different. He was the only one who somewhat understood me. I wasn't sure how many times I owed him for saving my ass. He was always there, even during my rough trip this past summer, which I was tired of thinking about for one day. There were quite a number of times where had Monte not been around; I would be six feet under at the age of nineteen. Monte knew the good side and the bad side of me, as well as the part of me that didn't want to deal with my mother every night. Monte thought a moment then answered, incorrectly, but I had to give him credit for trying. Hell I was to chicken to even do that much.

Wendell shook her head, frustrated, and then continued to explain to the class what exactly was wrong with the fucking sentence. The rest of the class followed the same boring routine as always, which consisted of boring lulls of Mrs. Wendell's preaching, and the class not caring, until the bell rang releasing us from the side splitting agony. I shoved my pencil in the pocket of my black and grey striped hoodie, and gathered my books in my arms. Monte, who sat closer to the door then I did, waited for the rest of the kids to pile threw the door, so he could walk with me to lunch.

I hated the hallways. They were always just as crowded as the class rooms, only it was worse because everyone was moving and bumping into one another. Monte and I pushed our way through the thick hordes, elbows knocking elbow, hearing the strings of profanities coming from the other students as Monte shoved them to the side. It was easy for Monte to make his way through the growing mass of kids, but I wasn't exactly built to plow people out of my way like him. Monte wasn't necessarily tall, I think I was actually a little taller than he was, but for what he lacked in height he made up for in broadness. I was skinny, not underweight, it wasn't like I had a disorder or anything, and I just had a high metabolism. Everything I ate seemed to disappear, because I never gained a pound. Being seniors helped a little bit. The freshman were scared enough to stay out of our way, knowing that they were at the bottom of the food chain so to speak, and the other kids knew their place.

The cafeteria was well, disorganized and chaotic. There were three different lunch line, that survived the same repulsing lunches, and yet people still fought over which one to stand in. The same thing went for the round lunch tables, kids fought over chairs or the location of the table, it was idiotic. I understood wanting to set with a friend, after sitting through class it was the least you could do to help yourself, but they didn't have to fight over the stupidest things. I guessed that was why I wasn't much of a people person, people were boneheaded dumb asses. People at this school were anyway. All the jocks were bone heads and all cheerleaders were sluts, harsh but true.

Monte and I managed to get through the groups of kids and found our usual table in the far back corner, away from the bone heads and the sluts, and sat down. There was a loud commotion coming from one of the lunch lines, and I looked to find two kids fighting over their place in the damn line. Did they not realize that no matter where the hell they stood, they were gonna get fed that disgusting shit? I rolled my eyes at them. Almost everything the school served for us to eat looked and smelled questionable. As much as I enjoyed eating, not once had I let a single morsel pass my lips since the very first day my freshman year. Just thinking about the food made my stomach churn uneasily.

Most of the time I just didn't eat, because there was never time in the morning to deal with packing a fucking sandwich, let alone the lack of suitable materials. I had more responsibilities to worry about than what I was going to eat for lunch, like taking care of my drunken mother, and making sure she was still alive every morning. Sometimes Monte would bring me a little extra something, if he didn't forget, or if he was able to sneak enough food from his house.

Monte's family was tight. I liked them okay, they had always treated me kindly, but those people only bought the bare niceties to survive. It was a wonder they even had a television or any other 'expensive' technical device. They were always saving, taking the free handouts and cutting coupons. Who the hell used coupons anymore? It was almost psychotic they way they were about saving money sometimes. I often wondered if he was adopted, because Monte was completely different than those people, I doubted he had a single greedy bone in his body.

Monte pulled out the plastic chair beside me and sat down with his brown paper sack. He opened the small package and turned it over, spilling out a bag of chips, a sandwich and a can of soda, right away my stomach growled angrily upon seeing the food.

"You want some chips man?" Monte asked laughing at my mouthy stomach. It gargled in agreement. I felt bad always taking his food, because I knew how much he loved it.

"Nah, I can last one more period." I told him. He shrugged, unwrapping the clear cellophane coiled around his sandwich. My stomach grumbled again, watching him take a bite, and my mouth started to water. I embraced my torso, as if to cage the angry beast of a stomach inside me, Monte just laughed and handed me the unopened bag of chips. I sighed, defeated but thankful, and took the chips from him.

Lunch was usually uneventful, except for the small quarrels in the lines, but usually just as unentertaining as the rest of the school day. Monte and I would talk, sometimes, about guitar lessons after school, or about how my mom was doing, but that subject never lasted too long. Lunch had always been just me and Monte, until today.

I finished the entire bag of chips Monte had given me, almost as fast as it had taken the few short seconds to open them. Long story short, I was fucking hungry. I had skipped breakfast, like every day it seemed, to help mother, so hopefully she was better when I got home, which I knew was too much to ask for. When I was sure that there were no little crumbs hiding in the small crease at the bottom of the bag, I crumbled it up and tossed it into Monte's paper sack. He just laughed and continued eating his sandwich. Unsatisfied with the small snack, my irritable stomach began protesting again, this time we both ignored it.

"Is there someone sitting here?" a strange voice suddenly asked. Startled out of my day dream I looked up to see who had spoken. I had never seen the kid before in my life. Of course I didn't pay near enough attention to really know who was a regular student and who was new. They were all just faces and names to me. He was tall, with silky red hair that hung past his ears. The rocker cut really didn't match the color, but it wasn't bad. His eyes were icy blue eye. They were a glossy mix of light blue and grey, like storm clouds at sea. His clothes looked somewhat on the expensive side. He was dressed in a pair of black straight leg jeans, which were tucked into a pair of snake skin cow boy boots, a plane v-neck tee shirt and a leather jacket. A chain hung from his belt, which was fastened by a large oval buckle. I was surprised when I glanced down at his finger nails, like mine they were painted a slick black. Besides Monte, this kid was the only other guy at school that wore nail polish. I looked at him for a moment, getting caught in his glossy cobalt eyes.

"No," Monte said, swallowing a mouthful. The kid hesitated a second, biting his lower lip. "Do you mind if I sit with you." he finally asked working up the nerve.

"Go ahead." Monte said, motioning to the chair next to mine. A smile parted his perfect lips as he pulled out the plastic, navy blue chair from under the table, and sat down. As I watched him, I realized how gracefully he moved, every gesture he made seemed to flow like liquid. Not even the metal legs of the chair made the annoying ear piercing scratching sound it usually did when it was drug across the white tile.

"My name is Adam," explained. "I just moved here."

"I'm Monte," he pointed to me "that's Tommy. We didn't just move here." Adam chuckled at Monte's joke. His laugh was genuine and care free, something I wasn't used to hearing. I couldn't even remember the last time I tried to laugh. They way my life was didn't allow for something so enjoyable, not anymore. The most I could ever manage was a smirk, never a full smile. It took too much energy, energy I needed to take care of my mother.

"Where did you move from?" Monte asked taking a swig from his soda can. Monte knew how I felt about people. He knew it took a lot for me to really get used to people. I had too many reasons to not trust strangers, so until I got comfortable, Monte would have to do most of the talking.

"Indiana." he said laughing, slightly embarrassed. His cheeks flushed a soft pink, and then he smiled. Monte wrinkled his nose. "Oo, Sorry I asked." he joked once more. Adam laughed again, the pink fading from his slightly freckled face. "I know right." Adam paused for a minute to take a bite of his own sandwich then continued. "It really wasn't that bad. But I have to say I could get used to California."

Monte and Adam talked the rest of the lunch period, while is sat thinking to myself, and picked the chipping paint from the lunch table. Adam didn't realize it, but I was studding him, watching how he acted around people, around Monte and I. There wasn't one thing I missed sitting there watching him, I didn't do it to be creepy; I did it because I was well, very untrusting. So far though, Adam was passing with flying colors. Perhaps it was his small town attitude that made him so charming and likeable; everyone from California seemed to have an ego the size of the fucking Empire State building. I listened to their conversation, adding my opinion where I felt necessary.

"Where is your next class?" Monte asked, putting the trash from his lunch in the brown paper sack. Adam shifted in his seat, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper from his back pocket, and read the schedule printed on it.

"Government." he said with a frown. My mouth pulled at the corners, the look on his face was almost enough to make me smile.

"I have that next too." I said. "I'll show you where it's at." I stood and put my hands in the pockets of my hoodie. Adam nodded. "Awesome."

Adam and Monte stood up as I started to leave the almost empty lunch room, and threw their bags in the trash. I realized then, that I was glad that Adam had the same class as me next. He was different from almost every kid at the school I had the misfortune of meaning. Adam was from a small town in the Midwest, which meant he wasn't raised around the self-centered pricks that I had been. As much as I liked it just being me and Monte, I couldn't lie, but I wouldn't mind having Adam around.

* * *

**A/N: okay! there is the first chapter... i hope you like it...and i hope you like the disclaimer. i got the idea from Capella85 so yeah... I'm gonna try to make the disclaimer less boreing then the usuall thing every one does on here...so please leave me a review. I will replay to them all! xD**

**~Jackie**


	2. Strut

****DISCLAIMER!**

**Me: **_(finally out of my shock and speachlessness, walks over to where I see Adam sitting.) _Hey… um… sorry about how I acted last chapter. I wasn't expecting you.

**Adam: **_(chuckles his cute chuckles)_ That's okay.

**Me: **_(smiles sheepishly, then notices Tommy sitting on the ground a few feet away, Indian style, with his arms folded tightly at his chest; scowling and mumbling angrily to himself.)_ What's wrong with Tommy? _(walks over to him and kneels down beside him.)_

**Tommy: **_(glares at him) _I know exactly where this is going…for the last time I LIKE GIRLS!

**Me: **_(Stands up, biting lower lip) _…ugh…

**Adam: **_(shaking his head, picks Tommy up under his arms) _Aww calm down Glitters, it's only a story. _(smirks at me) _He's just grouchy cause he hasn't had his coffee this morning. _(winks at me)_

**Me: **_(laughs.) _Will it make you feel better Tommy, if I let you explain to my other readers that this is just a story and in no way true?

**Tommy: **_(glares at me then sighs) _What did you say your name was?

**Me: **Jackie.

**Tommy: **_(mumbles some more, then turns to the readers) _For all of you reading this, Jackie doesn't own Adam or me; Tommy Joe Ratliff. She is just some sick, crazy fan girl with nothing better to do then make up stories about Adam and I being 'together.' Read if you must, but it is all false!

**Me: **_(slightly annoyed) _Do you feel better now?

**Adam: **_(glares at Tommy)_

**Tommy: **_(notices Adams face.) _What?

**Adam: **_(slaps the back of Tommys head)_

**Tommy: **_(rubs the back of his head) _Hey!

**Me: **_(rolls eyes) _Lets just read the chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

~CHAPTER TWO~

"You got somethin' to say, your hands are tied.

Open your mouth, open it wide

Let the freedom begin"

– Strut

Mr. Franke's Government class was located in the very last room, down the longest hall of the entire school. It was so secluded at the end of the hall that there were never any students whatsoever standing around to block my way as I tried to get there. Though it wasn't like I was in any hurry to get to class, why would I be? It was government; I have no plans on becoming a politician so I saw no need to take the fucking class. By teaching me, and most of the student body I was sure, they were wasting their time.

Adam and I stopped at his locker so he could grab the supplies he needed, then he followed me through the hordes to my locker so I could get my own books. The ugly mustard yellow lockers were arranged alphabetically, meaning it was a good walk pushing through students just to get from Adam's locker to my locker. Due to the number of students, L was a long way from R, and it was an even longer route from R to Franke's room.

As we both made our way down the hall, I kept close behind Adam, giving him the directions to the room. He moved effortlessly through the crowded halls. He had even less of a problem than Monte did. Each movement, every gesture or twitch was smooth and swift and easy for Adam, it was breathtaking to watch him move, and I had to admit I was somewhat jealous. No one at school moved the way he did, or at least not enough for me to notice them None of them moved the elegant way he did. I followed Adam's tall figure, which towered over me by almost a foot, until Franke's room came into view.

"There it is." I said pointing to room number three; Adam nodded and entered the class room, with Mr. Franke nowhere to be found. Besides Adam and I, there was only one other student, leaving the ugly blue chairs empty. Most of them were still out in the busy hall, talking to friends before the bell counted them tardy.

I stood with Adam in the front for a second, feeling obligated to, but he just motioned me to go take my seat in the very back of the class room. Adam waited by Mr. Franke's desk, standing awkwardly alone, biting his bottom lip and scuffing the sole of his boots against the dirty white tile. As I sat and waited for class to begin, I tried not to stare, but for some reason my eyes were glued on the kid from Indiana. For someone who grew up in a Midwestern town, next to billions of acres of corn fields, Adam seemed to be adapting to the life and style of Hollywood already. He didn't look like he was from a small town; he didn't even have a dorky sounding accent. The first thing that came to mind when I tried to picture Adam as someone from the small farming communities was, him wearing a pair of faded overalls, with a straw hat and a pitchfork. Stereotypical of me I know, it was in my blood as a California native, so at times I sounded like a dick. I had never in my life left the state, so when I thought of a small town, farmers were what came to mind first. Lord only knows what they thought of people from L.A. Movie stars and glamour probably would be the first things to pop into their minds. I laughed humorlessly to myself. If my life was even half as glamorous as everyone thought it should be, I would sleep better at night.

I wrinkled my nose upon imagining Adam dressed as a farmer. I didn't want to, he was too beautiful the way he was. Sure maybe the red hair didn't quite fit his edgy rocker look but that was an easy fix. I changed my hair color all the time, I wasn't even sure when the last time my hair was its natural color. My hair though now, was due for another dye. My brown roots were beginning to consume the blond and it was starting to look bad. I always kept a little money from what I made doing gigs, just to keep my hair a lighter color. For a natural resident of Cali, I was anything but tan. I hoped by keeping my hair lighter, the contrast would be less dramatic with my dark hair.

I glanced up at the clock hanging near the doorway, watching the red minute had inch its way closer to the tardy bell that would make all the kids in the hall late. I shifted in my uncomfortable chair, tired of the blue plastic already, as Mr. Franke walked into the room with his usual cup of coffee and stack of miscellaneous papers. He walked right past Adam, not even taking an upward glance and sat at his desk. Adam waited politely, still biting his lip.

How could Franke just by pass a human being? Especially one standing in such close proximity? I took a deep breath, calming myself, being mad only wasted energy I would need later. The students from the hall began to accumulate into the room, most ignoring Adam, while others glanced at him and started to whisper amongst themselves. To most of them it was no big deal that our school had added a new face. I'd bet we got a new kid every other month, so no one really seemed to care that Adam was here.

By the time that every student was sitting in their chair, Adam was still being ignored by Mr. Franke and the bell rang to start class. Mr. Franke though, either didn't hear it ring, or just didn't care. He opened his lap top, looking intently at the glowing screen, paying no attention to anyone. Especially Adam. I looked at him standing up there alone. He caught my glance and a crooked smile painted his lips. I felt sorry for him standing up there alone, just because I knew how much I hated being the center of attention, even if right now he wasn't. I hated people staring at me with their buggy eyes, but most of the time I was just looked over. A lot of the kids had no interest in Adam, while others seemed to show a mild reaction to the new red head, and they whispered back and forth. I wanted to know what they were saying, by their tones though, it wasn't hard to guess they were already being rude, and they hadn't even given him a chance. Although as of now, I was still watching him, waiting for some indication that he was a bad egg that I needed to throw out, but a little part of me didn't want him to go away even if he was going to cause a problem.

The longer Adam stood up in front being ignored, the more I wanted to punch Mr. Franke, who was usually on my okay list for teachers, and the more I listened to the kids a few rows over the more I wanted to punch them out as well. Finally, before I could do something that would get my ass hauled down to the principal's office, Franke decided to grace Adam with his absolute attention. Adam explained that he was a transfer, while Franke looked around the room for a place to seat him, in the already cramped class room. I knew that he wouldn't set anywhere near me, one, because I did not possess that much luck and two because the nearest empty desk was still three rows over. Sitting in the very back of the class suited me though, so I wasn't gonna complain. At least no one could stare at me in the very back of the class. The kids I sat around were a different story, and it was difficult not to complain about sitting within touching distance of them.

The kid that sat in front of me was not only ugly, but he was possibly the biggest fuckin' pot head in the entire school. All the jack ass talked about was his weed, and how and when he was gonna get some more. It didn't help that the girl next to him was just as addicted as he was. I didn't even wanna think of some of the other shit that she talked about doing, because most of it made me wanna heave. This bitch wasn't small either; quite frankly she herself was the definition of the word 'fat'. Every article of clothing she wore was two or three sizes too small, making disgusting rolls of blubber pour out in areas that were never meant to be seen. It was fucking gross. Whether she thought she looked good as a whale squeezed into as potato sack was one thing, but I sure as hell didn't find it attractive. To add on top of all that, they both reeked of tobacco most of the time, which made my stomach queasy. I admit, I was guilty of drug abuse. But not once had I ever smoked any of that shit. Most people had a thing with needles; I had a thing about inhaling toxic fumes. The logic sucks, but at the time it made since.

Now the two girls that sat next to me where the exact opposite of "Miss Two Sizes Too Small". Together I doubted they weighed two hundred pounds. They were part of that rich group of kids that only wore clothes that where 'in style' and carried the most ridiculous over-sized purses in the entire world. They might as well been air plane carry-ons. Jesus, I understood why a chick needed a purse, but they didn't need to carry around everything from their fucking bed room in it! It was amazing some of the things I had seen them pull out of those things. Their nails were much the same. They were always shiny and made of polished plastic, with corny little designs on them. There was absolutely no reason for a girl to spend a fortune on stupid long plastic nails, which were too long for them to do anything with. I knew for sure that guys were not paying attention to girls finger nails. Their hair as another thing, it was always fixed neatly every class, never moving from its twisted curls and long spirals, they must have spent a shit load on hair spray. I mean their hair never fucking moved. I wasn't natural. Those two would sit over there, squeaking and fussing over something un-important the entire class, weather it was about an upcoming shopping trip or what they planned on doing with their boyfriends over the weekend. I just knew that whatever they talked about, it was always discussed in way too much detail.

I sighed, losing more of that energy that I needed so badly, having wasted it up on a couple of pot heads and a pair of sluts. Adam thanked Mr. Franke, showing him more politeness then I would have if that had been me, and went and sat in his seat across the room. I was glad when I realize Franke had made up for his rude welcoming by placing him by fairly decent people; ones that I knew wouldn't judge him anyway. Adam might have been placed far from me, but he wouldn't have to deal with hearing what someone planed on doing this weekend, or who someone planed on doing this weekend.

Adam flashed me a quick smile, once he was situated, leaning forward so he could see past the long row of kids to see me. The right side of my lips curled into a faint smirk. I wanted to give him more than just a shitty sneer, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, not with how my life was. Adam was growing on me though, I had just met the kid less than an hour ago, and I already found myself getting used to him being around. There was something about him that I couldn't ignore. I never got close to people, or at least I tried not to. There had been too many of them that I looked up too and were now gone, dead and alive. My mother was at the top of the list, as a kid she was my hero, now it felt like she had died too.

When class finally began- after Franke was done playing on his laptop, I could feel the weight returning to my eyelids. Last night was the first full night of sleep I had gotten in God only knows how long, and it felt so damn good, but sleep deprivation was beginning to take over the longer I sat through these boring classes. I couldn't help that Mr. Franke's voice was so mono tone that it would have put the dead to sleep, he was almost as bad a Wendell, and I liked Franke, most of the time.

Deciding he didn't feel like talking, he made us read section six of chapter seven in our books, which covered the First Amendment of the Constitution. Everyone groaned, pulling their books form the small metal basket attached to the legs of the chair, and opened to the correct page. Instead of reading, knowing if I tried I would defiantly fall asleep, I looked over at Adam. He got elegantly out of his chair, and walked up to the teacher's desk, Franke had obviously forgotten to give him a book.

Of the entire class, I was the only one watching the ordeal, not caring to read the literature. None of it made any since to me anyway. Adam explained his situation to Franke, who got up, leaving Adam to stand alone again at the front of the class, while he looked for a book. Adam bit his lip again, and I smirked again, finding his little habit amusing. Mr. Franke came back to his desk empty handed, and took one last look under the piles of papers stacked endlessly on his shrinking desk.

"Um..." Mr. Franke droned, rubbing his head, looking around the room. "Linda? Could you share your book with Adam until I can get him his one?"

My nose wrinkled, I wasn't about to let that bitch share her book with Adam. The girl sitting beside me, one of the ones with the fake nails didn't answer Mr. Franke right away. I could tell she didn't want to share her book with him; Linda was giving him the "you're a freak" look the entire time he was standing up there.

"He can share my book." I insisted, hoping to save Adam from the wench beside me. As soon as I said something she turned her glare my way, which I returned by rolling my eyes. For a moment it looked as though Franke was going to disagree, but his expression changed. "That's fine." he said, going back to set at his desk.

With a smiled on his face, Adam swiftly pulled around the closest empty desk, scooting it as close as possible to mine.

"Thank you." he whispered as he made himself as comfortable as he could in the small seat.

"No problem."

I looked down at the book open on my desk and turned it so we could both read it easily without having to break both our necks. Adam leaned closer to me, so he could see the small print, and my heart began beating faster usual, he was so close. I took a breath, calming myself. What the hell was that about?

The section over the Constitution should win the best award to the most boring, mind numbing section in the entire text. I mean the authors really out did themselves. While I barely skimmed the wordy paragraphs over our freedoms of speech, religion etc, Adam was reading everything in fine detail. I finished every page before he did, so I waited as patiently as I could, chipping the black polish off of my nails. The room was quiet again, but this time it wasn't an uncomfortable silence like earlier in English, and I took this time to zone out again, becoming lost blissfully in my own world.

Suddenly, a loud bang rang threw the room, making everyone almost jump out of their seat, and me curse under my breath. Mr. Franke had a bad habit of whacking his hollow wooden podium with a broom stick, creating a sound similar to a gun shot. I could still remember the first time he had done that last year in US History. The room had fallen deathly silent, like just a second ago, and I had nodded off, for just a second and then BANG! The mother fucker slammed the side of the podium almost making me shit my pants. Since that day, I had learned to either expect it, or not fall asleep. I was going to have to add zone out to that list now.

People began complaining, whining about the unexpected noise, only making Franke laugh. Adam had taken the whole thing better then the kids who were used to it. His head simply jerked up, but his body didn't jump in the least.

"Some of you guys were sleeping." Mr. Franke joked, hitting his palm against the flat bottom of the wooden stick. "You guys finished yet?" he stretched his neck, looking at everyone table.

Some of the class nodded, others shook their heads but most said nothing, and started to close their books, but I knew better. Adam's hand began to flip the front cover shut, but I stopped him just as Franke took a deep sigh that meant the cogs and wheels were turning in his head. More than likely conjuring up an activity that would make me regent coming to school today. It seemed every other class period we were doing group projects, which were my least favorite things to do. No one in this class liked me well enough to choose me to be in their group, so I always either ended up doing it by myself, if at all, or barging in on a group of people I could tolerate longer than ten seconds. Of course now I had Adam, as long as he didn't mind dealing with me as a partner, or as long I decided he wasn't a dick. For some reason I highly doubted that he was one, actually I was more concerned of what he would think of me. It wasn't exactly easy to get along with me; I had problems that couldn't be cured.

Franke smacked his fist against the top of the broom stick again. "Tell ya what," he began. "Partner up, and on a piece of paper, tell me which one of those freedoms covered by the first amendment is the most important to you. I'll give you oh..." he looked at his watch "...about twenty minutes then we will discuss what each of you wrote."

Everyone, including me, and except for Adam groaned in protest. He always assigned pointless shit. I took out my note book, flipped to a clean page and pulled my pencil from my pocket. The room started shifting as people moved to sit next to their partners of choice, while I stayed where I sat and so did Adam. I pursed my lips. Franke was always vague on what exactly he wanted us to talk about, because no matter what we wrote, he always had something else to add, and it pissed me off.

"So. . ." I let the word flow from my mouth slowly, breaking the silence accumulating between the two of us. "What is the most important part of the first amendment?" I was expecting just as much false enthusiasm as I had given him, but got real enthusiasm instead. His blue eyes lit up at the question, as if he had been waiting to reveal the answer all day.

"Freedom of Speech" he stated matter-o-factly, sliding the note book from my desk onto his, along with my pencil. Adam immediately began scratching words onto the paper as I watched finding his penmanship just as fluid and beautiful as he was. The fifteen or twenty minutes that Franke gave us to do the little groups papers was usually more than enough time to get it all completed, but Adam was in the zone, writing quickly to make certain that everything he had to say got put on paper. I felt the need to ask if he wanted me to join another group, because he sure as hell looked more than capable of doing the assignment by himself, then I remembered that I hated most of the kids in this class, so I stayed where I was. After a while, Adam laid the once sharp pencil back on the desk, which now was in dire need of re-sharpening. It was a wonder the fuckin thing wasn't smoking. The sheet of note book paper that was on Adam's desk was filled completely to the bottom with words all made in fancy lettering.

"All done." Adam said with a smile on his face, obviously proud of his work. I leaned over slightly, glancing at what he had passionately written the size of every word made it difficult to read. "Cool." I said, slouching back down in to the hard plastic chair.

We both waited the rest of whatever time was left silently, while Adam read through his paper making corrections where they were needed. I was anxious to know what the new kid had written so intently. Never in my life had I seen a kid in this class put forth that much effort for a stupid paper. At eighteen and nineteen, no kid gives a fuck about the damn government, didn't the teachers know that? I was sure they did, but they kept on trying, and I had to give them credit for doing so, even if they were failing miserably.

The atmosphere of the room shifted as students got done, they became more talkative. Noticing, Mr. Franke stood up from his desk. He grabbed the broom stick from its place in the corner again and took his spot in the front of the class. "Whatcha' guys got?" he asked looking around the room. There was a long pause then Franke spoke again. "Luke, what did you and Tyler come up with?"

Mr. Franke looked at the group sitting in the opposite corner at the very back of the class room. Luke, who was all brawn and no brains, sighed, not wanting to be the first to read, and began to read what was on his paper. After a while, listening to Luke talk was like listening to baby babble, his words all ran together sounding like slurred mumbles of a drunken man. Hell, I didn't have a clue to what he was talking about, every now and then I could make out a "the" or an "and" but that was about it. I doubted anyone could understand him. When Luke finished his dual murmuring, Franke looked just as clueless as the rest of the class. Looking at the back wall, he thought a moment, then started preaching about the freedom of religion, obviously not sure what Luke had just said.

Again I tried to pay attention to the lesson, but my eyelids started drooping and my coherency was slipping away. Adam nudged me with his elbow, catching me before sleep could claim me as one of its victim's. I sat up straight up in my chair, blinking a few times to keep myself awake, but I lazily slouched again, resting my chin on my palm. I promised myself I would sleep through the night tonight, otherwise I was gonna kill someone. Trying to stay awake in class is a lot harder job than most people might think.

Class was dragging on, longer than usual, and Franke called on a different group, which was now speaking. Rebecca spoke much more clearly, but her nasally tones aggravate me; she sounded like she couldn't breathe through her nose. I put my head on the desk squeezing my eyes shut and pulling the hair at the back of my head, realizing listing to Rebecca made class seem longer and more tortured than usual.

When she was finished, Mr. Franke rambled some on different dentals Rebecca discussed, meaning she was either wrong on her explanation or she just didn't hit the right topic that he was looking for. After that, he called on more of the students, and I unsuccessfully fought off sleep. Adam would every now and then look over and smile, nudge me slightly with his elbow, and I would blink back awake. When it was our turn to go, I wasn't prepared.

"Tommy, what did you and Adam come up with?" Mr. Franke asked.

"Um..." I looked over at Adam, indicating that I had no idea what to say, he smiled softly and began to read.

"As many people know, the first amendment of our constitution allows citizens of this great nation many freedoms, such as the freedom of religion and petition, but the part of this amendment that I feel the most strongly about is the freedom that grants us freedom of speech and/or expression. I feel that too many times in this country a person's freedom of speech and expression is taken from them, no one should be discriminated against for who they are or the way they act. Our speech and expression is what makes this nation thrive, by limiting what someone can and cannot do because of the way they are and what they say is wrong. Our government creates laws that restrict people from being who they want and know themselves to be. I feel that as long as what we do and say doesn't physically harm someone then I strongly believe that our freedom of speech is by far the most important part of our first amendment. Everyone has a voice, big or small, let it be heard and let the freedom begin."

The room was silent when Adam stopped talking, not even Mr. Franke seemed to have anything to add. Adam's paper spoke words of true passion, every remark out of his mouth captured the class's attention, and for once I even stayed awake. There had to be an alternative motive behind his speech, he felt too strongly for what he had written for there not to be extra reasoning. I brushed it off, telling myself I was just being paranoid. Mr. Franke stood there a moment, and then glanced at his watch, having nothing more to say after Adam's excellent explanation.

"I'm not giving you any homework." he said walking back to his desk.

There was five long minutes left in class before we were free, and the students pushed the mangled desks back into the tight rows they had previously been in, grabbed their books and lined up in front of the closed door. Adam and I stayed in our seats, and I stacked my books in front of me, putting my pencil back in my pocket.

"Were you okay with everything that I said?" Adam asked quietly.

"Hell yeah, that was great." I said. Relief washed over his features "Okay. I'm sorry I didn't let you write anything."

I laughed slightly, "I don't mind. What you wrote sounded a hell of a lot better than anything I would have written."

Adam chuckled softly, a delightful sound that made me body tingle. There was something about Adam that intrigued me. He was different, and flawless in a good way. He wasn't like everyone else in school who acted like robots. They wore the same things every day, did what everyone else was doing, and they never seemed to get tired of the same old routine. I could tell that Adam wasn't going to be one of those robot zombies; he would do everything in his power to be himself.

When the bell finally rang, the entire student body standing by the door pushed through the small opening at once, like a bunch of fan girls at a boy band concert. Adam and I simply stood up and walked out together behind them. Another day of school had ended.

* * *

**A/N: That was Chapter two! haha let me know what you thought! and if i need to go and fix any grammer mistake...i reread it like 3 times and caught a lot of stuff...but prolly not all of it..haha xD **

**And thank you to all that reviewed last chapter! you make my day!**

**REAVIEW! PLEASE!**


	3. My Immortal

**DISCLAIMER!**

**Me:** _(walks over to Adam, who is painting his finger nails.)_ Hey! So did you read Chapter 2?

**Adam**:_ (looks up from the black nail polish.)_ Oh yeah! It was great! Except I don't think I'm that good of a speaker. _(laughs)_

**Me**: _(giggles)_ Oh don't be modest! Believe me, you have one of the most powerful voices!

**Adam**: _(smiles)_ Aww…thank you.

**Me**: _(gins and blushes)_ don't mention it_. (looks over and sees Tommy sitting by himself strumming a guitar.)_ What did he think of it?

**Adam**: _(looks at Tommy and smirks)_ Go ask'em.

**Me**: _(walks over to Tommy)_ So….uh…Tommy? What did you think?

**Tommy**: _(looks up, letting his hair to fall into his face.) _I thought it was well written and respect your choice of character parings…_(sticks his tongue out at Adam)_

**Me**: _(rolls eyes, realizing it was a rehearsed answer)_ If I go and get you a coffee will you be nicer?

**Tommy**: _(shrugs)_

**Me**: _(sighs)_ Adam would you care to do the honors while I go and get Grumpy Glitters a caffeine fix?

**Adam**: _(laughs)_ Sure._ (looks at your readers with those beautiful eyes) _Jackie does not own Tommy or me. But I love the story! Please read and leave her a little input on what you thought. Enjoy, my beautiful Glamberts!

**Tommy**: _(shouts at Adam)_ KISS ASS!

* * *

~CHAPTER THREE~

"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all these years

But you still have all of me"

-My Immortal

Once everyone had filed out of the door like frightened mice, Adam and I walked down the hall taking our time while the number of students became fewer and fewer as they exited the building. My mind was still processing Adam's paper and I complemented him again, feeling that it was his project more than it was mine. His smile shone brightly and he blushed.

"Thanks."

"Yeah, don't mention it." I shrugged leaning up against the locker next to Adams.

He took out a stack of books, making a slight grunting noise at the weight of the over-sized text books, and put them in his bag. Quickly he flipped through his planner, making sure that he had everything he needed, then followed me to my locker. Monte was waiting for both of us, with his book bag and guitar case, and smiled when he seen the two of us.

"How was Government?" he asked with a sarcastic grin. I laughed humorlessly, pointing over my shoulder to Adam.

"He should be a public speaker."

Monte raised an eyebrow, and Adam laughed lightly, his cheeks turning rosy again. "I wouldn't say that."

I slung my heavy bag over my shoulder, after having fought with the broken strap multiple times, and shook my head in disagreement. "I would. Good God. Not even Franke had anything to add."

I realized to Adam, the fact that the teacher didn't have an adding comment after reading his paper really wasn't a big deal. But after sitting in three of his classes during my mundane high school career, I knew that he usually _always_ had something to add.

Monte patted Adam on the back, impressed. "Wow…haha it ain't easy to do that."

Before Monte and Adam turned to continue down that empty hall, I tugged on my guitar case, struggling to get the cumbersome object out of the narrow chamber, and closed the metal door. How I even managed to squeeze it in there was beyond me.

"What were you guys even talking about?" Monte asked as we made our way towards the exit. I pitied all the new students who had to lean their way around all the halls. Each and every one of them snaked and twisted in dizzying spirals that still confused me.

The student parking lot was at the very back of the building. The faculty got all the good spaces in the front were all the lockers were. I wasn't sure why the location of the parking lot mattered to me anymore. I didn't have a car. Most of the time I just walked home, all thirty-six blocks. Every now and then Monte would give me a ride. But that was only when it was convenient for him. His family only had one car like mine, but at the moment my car was sitting in an auto repair shop, slowly wasting away into a heap of dented car parts and rust. His dad also worked a lot, so most of the time Monte just rode the bus.

"I think we are talking about the first amendment." I told Monte turning the last corner of the hall before the exit. Monte was quiet a moment, which I knew meant he was trying to remember what the first amendment covered.

"That's the freedom of speech right?" he finally asked, raising a brow.

"Yeah."

"So you gave a killer speech huh?" Monte asked holding open the glass door that lead to the parking lot. Adam walked out in front of me, and I held the door allowing Monte to easily lug his stuff out the door.

"I just think that no one should feel like they don't have the freedom to be who they wanna be." He justified. Monte nodded in agreement.

There was definitely something that fueled his discussion, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Most people that did papers for school work bull shited the entire thing just to get it done and out of the way. But Adam poured everything into his banter, which was unusual.

The three of us stood on the wide walkway with the overhang for a moment, putting off going home as long as possible. The lot was almost empty; as I glanced around I realized there were only two cars still parked on the black asphalt. A white pickup- which could only belong to Monte, and a shiny new black mustang. I pursed my lips; the glitzy vehicle had to belong to Adam. The thought made me somewhat weary. He was adapting to the glamorous life already. I wasn't sure why it bothered me as much as it did, but I couldn't' stand the thought of his small town attitude morphing into one that was corrupt and indecent. This school had enough stuck up snobs with nice cars.

Monte pulled his cell from his pocket and read the digital numbers on the front screen.

"I got lessons in a half hour." He said indicating the guitar in his hand. "You commin?" he asked.

Monte had guitar lessons every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday after school for a little over an hour and a half. I went most of the time, when I wasn't occupied with other responsibilities- like taking care of my drunken mother. The lessons were just an excuse to escape my crazy life; I knew how to play well enough. I taught myself, but I enjoyed the small amount of time away.

I sighed glancing down at my guitar. I wasn't sure why I even bothered to bring it this morning. As much as I wanted to go, I knew that I more than likely had a mess to clean up when I got home.

"No, I uh…" I looked at Adam a second, "got a shit load of homework to do tonight."

Monte gave me a knowing look. I didn't feel comfortable discussing my home life around people I had just met. "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow man." He pulled his keys from his pocket and headed for his tuck.

"See ya." I called, Monte turned and waved over his shoulder.

"Bye!" Adam shouted to him, returning his wave.

There was a slight pause between Adam and me when Monte drove away. I didn't want to go home, I knew what I had to look forward to at home, and it wasn't very welcoming. Depression, alcohol and nightmares that was my home life.

"I guess I will see you tomorrow." I told Adam. His face brightened, as if he wasn't expecting me to say anything.

"Yeah." He grinned.

I gave him a smirk, the last one I could force myself to use energy on, and started my long trek home. He walked out towards his car, stopping before he got in.

"You want a ride home?" I heard him ask behind me. I turned around. He was standing by the driver's side of the car, with his freckled hands curled around the slick black handle of the door. For a moment, I almost considered taking use of his offer- I really hated the long walk by myself. But then I looked at him, his fancy clothes, his fancy car, and then I thought about me. People kept their fancy cars away from my neighborhood for a reason. The best fitting definition of where I lived was 'ghetto.' Where I lived was undesirable to those who lived there as well as those who didn't. Crack houses, whore houses, was what my street was notorious for. The sound of gunshots wasn't even that uncommon. The entire area was perfectly horrid.

I shook my head, deciding that was no place for someone like him. "Nah, I can walk."

Shame was another reason I didn't want him to take me. He drove a fuckin mustang, a new one even. And I lived next to a bunch of crack houses, with a drunk no less. Slowly, I could see a barrier beginning to take form that would separate our worlds. He obviously had money, the new car spoke for itself.

"You sure?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure."

Adam proceeded to get in his fancy car, adjusting his mirror sand pulling the seat belt across his chest then gave me a slight smile before starting the engine and driving away. Just before he left the parking lot, he stuck his hand out of the open window and waved, which I half-heartedly returned. When my eyes could no longer see his sleek, black vehicle, I looked up at the vast blue sky above me- prolonging the walk home. Not one single puffy white cloud blocked the bright rays of the California sun. A slight breeze was blowing the towering palm trees, and birds sang.

This was the kind of thing that people expected when they came to Los Angeles; beauty, glamour and fame. But the irony was, it was hard to come by in L.A. Hell, most of the time you couldn't go to a fast food joint without a homeless guy asking for money. It was pathetic. Sure, there were the nice parts of town where all the movie stars lived, but the bad parts of town were possibly as bad as it could get.

I sure hadn't seen anything in my life that was even remotely glamorous, and there was no way in hell I would ever be famous. My mind drifted in and out of those thoughts as I started home

~oOo~

My house was the last one on the block, and shockingly the nicest, though, over the past year it was starting to look like shit. Dad was always the one that kept the outside spotless and cleaned up. Now, I had to ask the neighbors if I could borrow their mower to cut the grass because my mother decided to sell it for boos.

The white paint on the siding was beginning to chip off in large uneven sections, and one of the down stairs windows was boarded up when my mother had thrown a bottle at me on one of her bad days. I still had the scars on my hands from picking up the pieces of shattered glass.

My mother wasn't exactly a happy drunk. She was either consumed with excessive anger and aggression, or devoured by sadness and depression. Neither of which I preferred. I only hoped that today would be easy.

As soon as I found out that the door was unlocked, I breathed a little easier. My mom only locked the door when she left or felt uneasy. Fortunately this time she was sprawled out on the couch in the living room, an empty bottle of Jack in her hand.

I released my things by the bottom of the staircase, once I knew she was safe in the house. Luckily she hadn't heard me when I came in, which kept her peaceful for the moment. She was probably asleep, or passed out, but she was quite at least.

I unzipped my hoddie, shrugging out of it, and slung it over the wooden banister that lined the staircase. The small metal zipper clanked the railing at just the right spot, making a noise just loud enough for my mother to hear.

"Ronny? Is that you?" My mother's slurred voice asked.

She was drunk. Mom always called me by my father's name when she was. I knew why. Apart from my eyes and my odd haircut, I looked just like my dad. We shared the same small build, though he was always taller then I was. My height and my eyes I obtained from my mother.

"No mom," I called softly back to her. "It's Tommy."

She mumbled my name questioningly over and over, attempting to remind herself who I was. I walked over to where she as lying on the couch and took the bottle from her hand, placing it on the coffee table in front of the sofa. She sat up, using her forearm as a crutch, and looked at me confused.

"Ronny?" She placed a shaking hand on my cheek, tears welling up in her eyes. I touched her cold hand gently.

"It's me mom. Tommy." I told her.

My mother's brown eyes looked at me deeply, trying to remember my face.

"Your son." I added, knowing that it was useless. Neither her bemused eyes nor her cool hand left my face.

"Tommy?" he finally managed to say, still sounding unsure.

I sighed. She didn't recognize me, my father was the only one she could see through her dunked eyes. I took her hand from my cheek, squeezing it slightly, realizing it was useless trying to get her to remember, and pulled her frail arm over my shoulder to help her to her feet. She whimpered softly as she struggled to keep her balance, placing most of her weight on my small frame. Very slowly I helped her up the wooden flight of stairs. The process was a challenge, but I always managed to get her to her bed. The routine had become habit, almost second nature. Every day I came home, helped my mother get through her daily efforts and into bed. While she slept I did my school work, took a shower, ate, and then hopefully slept through the night. So very unexciting.

Once I was certain that sleep had consumed my mother, I made my way down to the kitchen to fix me something that would fill the empty void longer then the bag of chips Monte had given me. I doubted my ability to survive much longer on one meal a day and two hours of sleep every night. But what choice did I have?

I checked the cabinets first, finding them bare, then tried the fridge, which held a package of expired lunchmeat and a carton of milk. We needed more food. But there wasn't any money, and there wouldn't be until I could schedule a gig. Meaning I was screwed. Monte and I would play at clubs and restaurants a couple times to bring in money, but we hadn't done that for a long time, plus I couldn't find the right time to do it with my mother being the way she was.

An overwhelming sense of defeat washed over me. My life was quite possibly the worst nightmare someone could ever have. All I wanted was my mother to go back to being herself, and not the empty shell of a person she had become. I wanted to hate her for being so irresponsible, but how could I hate someone that was in so much pain that it hurt to live? The mother I knew as a kid was still in there. She had to be.

Beaten, I slammed the door of the refrigerator shut, and leaned against the counter. My eyes landed on the phone hanging on the wall. At this point I was desperate. The only option in my head was a last resort, and I didn't like it.

My hand hovered over the receiver, putting off the conversation that was sure to follow. I picked up the plastic phone and dialed the number that could only insure hatred and rage. Shrill rings echoed endlessly in my ears, making me reconsider my plan.

"Hello?" my grandmother's raspy voice finally said on the other end of the phone. I didn't answer right away.

"Hello?" she asked again, this time sounding frustrated. My grandmother had no patients whatsoever. No wonder my father acted the way he did. Just before she hung up I forced myself to say something.

"Yeah…uh…It's me Tommy."

"Who?" she still sounded agitated.

I paused, taking a deep breath. "Tommy Joe. Your grandson."

No sound came from the receiving end, which didn't surprise me. I knew she hated us for what my father had done. She blamed my mother and me, claiming we drove him to it. But she didn't understand my father's problem like we did. My grandmother convinced herself that he was fine, because she couldn't stand the thought of having a son that would commit suicide. Instead, my mother and I were the crazy ones.

"What do you want?" she pried. There was no trace of friendliness in her wicked tone.

"I need to buy food. There isn't any at the house and-" she cut me off before I could finish.

"No! I refuse to give you any money to go out and buy you and your mother more drugs, or whatever the hell else."

"But I-"  
"How dare you call me asking for a donation. Why don't you and your mother get off your lazy asses and get a job. Don't you ever call here again asking for a hand out. Do you hear me boy?"

I didn't say anything, trying to keep from screaming at her. I had always had a bit of a temper problem.

"Huh? Did you hear me boy?"

"Fuck you." I seethed almost silently into the mouth piece. My hands started to shake as rage filled my blood.

"What did you say to me?" she snapped.

I took a deep breath. "FUCK YOU!" I shouted and slammed the phone down. I ran my hands through my hair, falling back against the counter, and sliding to the floor. My grandmother had been handed everything on a silver platter, making her one of those people who believed everything about this city was supposed to be glamorous. The second reality kicked in, she got defensive and denied every wrong thing in the world.

Suddenly not hungry anymore, I grabbed my guitar and went upstairs to sit alone in my bedroom until I could fall asleep.

"Tommy?" my mother's voice weakly called from her bedroom. I cracked the door open and poked my head inside. She was lying in bed with her fore arm resting over her eyes. When she heard the door open, she peeked out from under her arm.

"Yeah?"

"What was all the yelling about?" she asked, squinting as I opened the door to step inside, letting in light as I did. I sat my guitar on the floor outside the room, making it easier to get inside. When I sat on the edge of the bed, she tried to prop herself up as well, but was too weak and gave up. I looked at her in the dark.

My mother was beautiful, but it was hidden. The drinking and the sleepless nights had aged her young looking face. Deep stress lines, and dark circles under her eyes replaced her soft lightly tanned skin. Her lushes brown hair, which once shown like a new penny was oily and matted. At one time, she had the classic movie star look. She was tall and skinny, with dark hair and eyes. It was a shame she had let herself fall into this depression. If only she tried to clean herself up, stop drinking and look for a job, then maybe I wouldn't wake up in such a shitty mood all the time.

She looked up at me with weak brown eyes. "You look like so much like your father. You know that?"

It was something I had heard her say multiple times. The thought never bothered me, but I could tell it did her. Every time she looked at me, she saw him. That was what bothered me. I hated knowing that I was part of the pain she felt.

Tears started to well up in her eyes again. I didn't say anything for a second.

"I know mom." I finally said, wishing I could take the pain away from her. "Now get some sleep."

I stood up, placing a kiss on her forehead. "I love you." I told her before I opened the door to leave.

"I love you Tommy." Her voice broke before she spoke my name, then I silently closed the door and went to my room. I dropped my guitar case in its usual spot by my bed and got dressed for bed. My alarm was set to go off at six, allowing me an hour for clean up duty in the morning as well as an hour to get to school.

I laid in bed for hours during the night, thinking of nothing, but somehow everything at the same time. My mind had been so scatterbrained today, I couldn't get to sleep. I needed to empty myself of all the useless thoughts so my mind could stop racing. I thought of the things in my life that I wished were better. Then Adam came into my mind, smiling his blissful smile. Thinking of him made me forget the hell in which I currently residing. His laugh made me feel as though all the nightmares would go away. Adam filled the empty whole that I didn't realize existed until today. There was something about him that wouldn't leave my mind.

Slowly though, my eyelids became heavy and impossible to keep open as the early hours of the morning approached. I rolled over on my side, pulled the blankets over my head, doing my best to keep my mind clear. Just as my eyes closed my mom started screaming in her sleep.

* * *

**A/N: Okay lovelies! let me know what you thought (like adam said, i love your input!) Like let me know if i messed something up...lol Thanx you guys! xD**

****Thank You to all who are reading! shout our to Whatsernamelambert and Surefireglambert! I love your reviews and your amazing adommy stories! Check'em out people! xD**

*****And to everyone else who left reviews! You make my day when i hear that you love my story! 33**

**~Jackie**


	4. Pieces

*****DISCLAIMER*****

**Me: **I hope you all enjoyed that last chapter, got some awsome reviews! And now you have a sneek peek into what Tommy has to deal with.

**Tommy: **_(angrily) _That is NOT how my life was at home! _(stomps his foot) _

**Me: **_(teasingly)_ Oh don't worry Tommy that wasn't even half as bad as the next few chapters... _(winks at the readers)_

**Tommy: **What is that supposed to mean?

**Adam: **_(walks in and rests his fore arm on Tommys shoulder)_ It means Glitterbaby, in this story your life sucks...to put it nicely.

**Tommy:**_(pouty)_ Why am I always the one with the problems?

**Me: **Because Adam is perfect.

**Adam: **_(smiles) _Why thank you...

**Me: **_(blushes) _

**Tommy: **_(annoyed)_ Would you to quit flirting!

**Me: **Aww...I think he feels left out...

**Tommy: **No, I feel abused. Why can't Adam be the one with the crappy life and I make him feel better?

**Adam: **Because you're cute when you get angry and things don't go your way.

**Me: **It's true

**Tommy: **_(defeated) _Can we just read the next chapter and get it over with?

**Me: **_(happily) _Yay! Tommy wants to read it this time!

**Adam: **_(to the readers) _Jackie owns nothing! _(winks)_

**Me: **ENJOY!

* * *

~CHAPTER FOUR~

"Mayby I'll need you, maybe I won't

Well someday I'll want to, but right now I don't"

-Pieces

The darkness created by my hood was nice, but the atmosphere ruined my feeble attempt to catch up on my sleep. There was just too much noise in the cafeteria to even think about sleeping. Once or twice I had been on that fine line between sleep and awake as my eyes started to close and my brain would drown out most of the obnoxious chatter, then someone would either drop their tray or make a scene in the fucking lunch line. Then I would lose my loose grip on the small ounce of tranquility I found.

Two hours. Two fucking hours was all I could sleep last night because my mother was screaming at the top of her lungs from the nightmares that haunted her thoughts. I knew she didn't mean to, and that she had no control over it, but it was still aggravating. Her nightmares started after the accident, and most of the time she slept soundly. Mine though, didn't start until after my father committed suicide, and were almost every night. Or at least it used to be. Unfortunately it seemed as though every night that my mother would have her nightmares, I didn't. Then the nights that I was plagued with violent reminiscent images, she never uttered a noise. Those were the nights that I was the one screaming, sometimes so loud I eventually woke myself up, clutching my pillow, heart beating a million times a minuet, sweat streaming down my face. It was not a pretty picture.

My drooping eyelids were almost completely shut when I detected the presence of someone standing behind me, and I immediately turned to see who it was. Monte didn't eat second lunch with me, unlike yesterday, so I knew it couldn't be him. I wasn't really in the mood to deal with anyone at all.

The school had three different lunch hours, set during the afternoon. All of which served the same disgusting food, by the same bitchy lunch ladies- who all looked ridiculous in hair nets. Not to mention the ludicrous price of the shit they served.

The warning signs in my head died instantly as soon as I seen who the person in question was. For now, I decided that Adam wasn't on my personal surveillance. After one day he checked out okay, which was a rarity for me. I wasn't quite sure if I could really trust him, because I had a hard time trusting anybody. I really only trusted those I've known most, if not all of my life. Adam's flamboyant personality though, made it hard for me to resist the urge to trust him.

He was dressed in dark clothes again, which looked like they held expensive value, and I took a quick glance at my own attire. What a difference there was between us. It wasn't that I didn't like the way he dressed, actually I quite liked the look he was going for, but his taste exceeded my spending budget. Hell, I couldn't even afford to feed myself most of the time.

Adam took the seat next to me again, opening a brown paper sack like yesterday, and removed it's contents; a turkey sandwich, a bag of chips and a bottle of water. When my defense fell, realizing who had been behind me, I was tired again. I slouched deeper into the hard plastic chair, leaning over to rest my head on the cold surface of the table. If only for five minuets sleep would encompass me, I would be grateful, but I knew it was too much to hope for.

As he ate and I attempted to sleep, I could feel Adam's eyes watching me, just like I felt him standing behind me. I quickly conjured up an excuse to explain my uselessness. It was inevitable, eventually he would ask what was wrong, and I wasn't about to go into any gory detail. I would tell him if absolutely necessary.

It took him longer than I thought it would. Usually, kids looked for every opportunity to dig their filthy noses in someone else's business. Adam just ate his sandwich, glancing over at me every now and then. My eyes fell close, and I emptied my thoughts hoping sleep would grant me my wish, until the silence was broken.

"Are you okay?" Adam finally asked. Lazily, my eyelids fluttered open, wanting nothing more then to stay shut, and I tried to focus my fuzzy vision on him. By the look on his face, it was plain to see that the question had been festering him for some time. I sat up, stretching, and yawning, brushing my bangs out of my face.

"Yeah." I lied, yawning again. "Home work's a bitch." I added sluggishly, using my lame excuse.

Adam smirked, nodding in agreement. He didn't say anything after that. He just continued to eat his lunch peacefully and let me rest. I tried sleeping again, but this time I knew it wasn't gonna happen. Not with the bright fluorescent lighting and detestable kids. Instead, I sat with my chin resting on my palm, watching Adam eat his food. There was something different about him from yesterday, and my lack of proper sleep dulled my scenes, making it hard to concentrate on what it was. I found myself staring at him, like an idiot.

"You died your hair!" I gasped once all the pieces clicked together. Adam chuckled, nodding.

"Yeah. I meant to do it before I moved here." He explained. "Do you like it?" he ran his fingers through it with a smile on his face. In a day his hair had gone from bright red to a less harsh reddish-brown color, which complemented his cobalt eyes and dark lashes. His eyebrows were even darker. I nodded, feeling a soft smile grace my lips for the first time in a while.

"Yeah I do. It looks really good."

The bright florescent lights hanging above his head made his dark hair shine brilliantly against his fair skin. It fell just over the tops of his ears, and laid neatly across his flawless forehead in spiky strands. His hair always fell into place perfectly, and mine put up a fight every morning.

Adam smiled, his pale cheeks turning a soft pink. "Thank you." He looked away shyly, and finished his sandwich. He offered me some chips, but I shook my head. I wasn't comfortable taking his food like I was Monte's. Instead I just marveled at how different he looked with his new hair.

I did want to sound like a complete jack ass yesterday- having just met him, but to be honest, I couldn't stand his red hair. The dark hair was even more natural looking, although, it wouldn't be quite as easy to hide the freckles on his lips and arms.

"I think you should go black though." I suggested randomly, picturing how it would look in my mind. As good as his air looked now, it would look ten times better if it were black. He didn't have the tanned skin like your typical Californian, of course neither did I, but his pale skin went with the dark hair. He could pull of dark and mysterious, I couldn't.

Adam thought a moment, taking a drink from his bottle of water. I could tell he was really giving the idea some thought. "You think it would look okay?" he asked. "Black might be over kill."

I shook my head. "I think it would really make your eyes stand out." I paused, thinking of how that might have sounded odd. "Unless you don't want them to." I added, staring at his hypnotic eyes.

"No… that would be cool." Adam said with a smile.

The rest of the lunch hour flew by too quickly, as Adam and I talked a little, finding that it was hard to feel tired around him. It was as if a certain kind of energy radiated from him, like heat from the sun. It livened me up and put me in a better mood, even to the point were I forgot the bad stuff for just a moment. I could tell as we sat next to each other, he would slowly become a drug to me. I could feel him working his way under my skin. He made me smile, nothing for the past two years ever made me smile. But some how this overly jovial kid managed to make me- the cynical recluse, smile again. Wasn't that what I wanted? Of course it was. Then why did I feel like I shouldn't get attached? I couldn't make sense of it at all.

We continued to talk the hour away, discussing different things. Likes and dislikes. He asked about my guitar when he told me about his dream of being a singer. I explained I had been playing since I was twelve, teaching myself most of the time. We asked each other weird things, like the kind of tooth paste we preferred or our favorite kinds of soda. I was actually enjoying myself.

When he finished his lunch, he pulled out the wrinkled and ripped piece of paper with his classes marked on it. I glanced over at it, trying to make out the print to see what class he had next. From what I could make out, it didn't seem we had any more classes together. He had Advanced Theater Arts next. I frowned slightly, he was adapting to the life in Hollywood fast. He never mentioned acting while we were talking.

The thought that maybe he was better suited to the glamorous life then I was kept bugging me. I wasn't jealous, I just didn't want him to become one of _them_. He sure had everything he needed to be one, all he needed to do was find them. Adam had money and a decent fashion sense. I wasn't gonna deny it, he was handsome, and probably talented if he wanted to be a singer. Not to mention getting into the Advance Theater class. Why he had chosen Monte and I, out of all the other students to hang with was beyond me. The more I thought about it, the more attached I realized I was becoming. I didn't want to get attached, because I knew it was only a matter of time before he wasn't here. The kids with money and better clothes could offer him so much more then Monte or me.

Soon they would wheedle their way to him, and drag him over to their crowd that was a swirling whirlwind of fame, fashion, fortune, sex and drugs. After that, he would never be the same. His charming, flamboyant personality would disappear in that dizzying spril, replaced by cold, egotistical arrogance. He would be ruined.

The crowd in the cafeteria started thinning as students crammed their way through the halls to get to their classes. Adam stood, placing his trash in the dumpster nearest to where we were sitting, and came back to the table.

"Which way is the Theater Arts room?" he asked, examining his wrinkled schedule again. I stood up slowly, lost in a world all my own, pulling my hood down and fixed my hair. "Um…" I said thinking. I wasn't really sure.

"…I think it's down that hall." I pointed to the right. "you really can't miss it. It's the most colorful room in the entire building." I added with a smirk. Adams freckled lips smiled. "Cool." We said a quick goodbye, and headed off to face the rest of the school day by ourselves

~oOo~

After the long exasperating day, school finally let out, and Adam and I grabbed our shit to take home. We snaked our ways down the windowless halls until we came to the glass door that lead to the parking lot and exited. The two of us stood under the overhang by the entrance again, saying absolutely nothing. It was a routine Monte and I used to prolong going home. We both had our reasons, although mine was more legit then his was. Not that I would wish my circumstances on anyone, especially Monte, but he needed to appreciate his family. At least all his family was still alive and sober.

Outside it was another beautiful day, which seemed to mock me. It felt like it anyway, especially when I felt so cold and dead inside. The parking lot was empty, Monte's white pickup was no where to be found. On days his father needed a mode of transportation, Monte was forced to ride the bus. Then I realized that even Adam's black mustang was missing as well.

"Did you drive to school today?" I asked looking up at him.

From the way he was standing, his head blocked the sun from view, and the rays fanned out, forming the illusion of a glowing halo, all he needed was the wings. His shadowed face turned and looked at me.

"Nope. I walked." He informed me.

My eyebrows squeezed together, "Why?"

I couldn't wrap my brain around a reasonable explanation. Why would he walk when he had a perfectly good car? If I had a car like his I would flaunt the damn thing everyday. He smiled slightly, then said.

"So I could walk you home."

I was sure the look on my face changed dramatically, because the smile faded quickly from Adam's.

"I'm not so sure that is a great idea." I told him, moving my focus to my feet.

"Why?" he asked, his tone apprehensive.

I racked my brain, trying to figure out what to tell him. I knew as soon as he seen what kind of family I came from, he would sprint to the kids with the talent and money, making sure never to speak to us again.

"Well…" I stalled, wanting to run and hide so I didn't have to explain my odd behavior. This was the reason why I never liked to deal with anyone I had never met before. I never had to explain myself to Monte, he knew me. I usually didn't associate with anyone other then him.

I bit my lip, deciding that if I ever wanted Adam to trust me, like I wanted to trust him, I was going to have to suck it up and get over my problems.

I sighed heavily. "It's probably not a good idea because I don't exactly live in the nice part of town, and my mother, well that is a different story…" my voice trailed off.

I did feel a little bit better opening up slightly to Adam. But my sentence came out in a slurred nervous blur, that I wasn't sure Adam understood. For a second, he didn't say anything, and I was certain he was debating whether or not to disappear completely if he had hear me correctly.

"Okay." He shrugged. "How far is it?"

I looked up at him in amazement, did he really hear what I said?

"Thirty blocks." I said, "I understand if that is too far of a walk for you." I added. Nobody would want to walk thirty some blocks then back to their own house.

"Well, then we better start walking." He said with a crooked smile.

Disbelief flooded my face. "seriously?"

He chuckled. "Seriously."

He started to walk away in the direction I lived, and I stood there for a moment not sure if I was dreaming, or this was really happening. A complete smile spread across my lips, though in my gut I could feel something wasn't right.

"Okay." I told him. "I hope you like to walk."

~oOo~

On the way home, I wasn't sure what reaction I was going to receive when we turned onto my block. My street looked like something from a movie about drugs and prostitutes, probably because the street was full of both, so I guess it really wasn't that surprising. Even out in the fucking day light girls would stand on the street corners, waiting for some middle-aged man or drugged up teenager. Luckily, I had lived here long enough to know what corners and houses to avoid. Just last month there were two homicides, three break-in and one drive by shooting. There was no happiness in his rotting hell I was forced to called home.

On a lighter note, I was actually able to keep a conversation going between the two of us while we walked. Adam was a very interesting person. He told me how his family moved here so he could pursue his performing career while he was still in school. Apparently, Indiana isn't a good place for that kind of thing. The idea of an entire family picking up and moving all the way across the country for their kid was almost unbelievable. I wished my life was as exciting as his. Mine was interesting, but not in a good way.

I watched Adam as we walked, expecting his face to turn sour upon seeing the environment I lived in, but he just walked beside me, humming blissfully to himself. Nothing dampened his mood a bit. I turned onto the short pathway that lead up to my collapsing house- the grey stone walk way was cracked, with green leafy sprouts pocking out of each fracture.

"This is…uh…my house." I said, making my way to the porch.

Adam stopped in the middle of the walkway, and looked my pathetic home up and down. "I like it." he smirked. I stopped walking, and turned toward him. He was standing about six feet behind me, gazing up at the structure.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah. It's got loads of character." He said.

I raised my eyebrow and looked at the old house trying to imagine it from his view point. I couldn't. I learned rather quickly that he was one of those optimistic people that could find the beauty in anything. I was more practical. I seen things for what they were, and my house was nothing more the a dilapidated, crummy pile of shit, with broken windows, chipping paint, and a fucked up door knob.

I moved myself next to him, and stood there for a moment. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't see my house like he did. I sighed heavily motioning Adam to follow.

"Come on."

The old brass door knob on my front entrance way had problems of it's own. Sometimes it liked me, and didn't put up a fight. Most of the time though, it was temperamental. I hated the damn thing all the time. It was just one more thing that pissed me off in life. But I wasn't about to throw myself in front of a bus because of a fucking door knob, I just couldn't stand it.

I jiggled it once, nothing. I narrowed my eyes at it, grunted and tried again. Still nothing, then realization struck me.

"Shit." I grumbled.

"What?" Adam asked.

"I'm locked out."

"Shit." He repeated in agreement.

"Yep." I sighed at first then panic started to take over. I rushed over to the big picture window that looked into the living room, hoping to find my mother asleep on the couch. Most of the time the door was open. She only locked it if she got paranoid or if she was leaving. She wasn't there. All of a sudden the gut feeling I had standing at school made sense. It was an instinct that I acquired from taking care of her for the past couple of years Some people could feel the change of the weather in their bones. I could feel when my mother was in getting herself in trouble. But instead of paying attention to it, I selfishly ignored it because for once I wanted to focus on some one other then my mother.

I felt my heart skip into hyperactive mode as panic started to fuel my movements. My fist pounded against the glass window over and over, but it was no use. She wasn't there.

"God damnit!" I cursed under my breath.

Adam's eyebrows pulled together. "What's wrong?"

I dropped my heavy back pack and guitar case where I stood, and pulled on the front door knob one last time- thinking it was going to work, then rushed out to the side walk. Obviously confused by my odd behavior, Adam stood for a second, then ran to catch up with me.

"Tommy!" he called. "What is it?"

My mind was so jumbled I could barely hear him. I walked as fast as my tired legs would take me. I had to find my mother before she was too far gone. Adam maneuvered his way around me and stopped.

"Tommy. What the hell is going on?" his usual carefree and calm exposure had melted from his face to revile confusion and distress. His icy blue eyes bore into mine, and for a moment I was lost in their liquidity. Shaking my head, I blinked out of it.

My hands were beginning to shake the longer I stood there with him in the way. "I have got to find my mother. Now move…" I could almost taste the acid the trickled into my words when I spoke. Adam stepped aside, letting me pass, but continued to follow me.

"Where is she?" Adam asked, sounding like he was struggling to keep up.

The side walk was not the easiest thing to walk on. It rose and fell, like rolling hills and was embellished with millions of cracks and broken pieces. Some places didn't even have a concrete slab, just dirt and gravel

"I don't know." I hissed coldly, like he should have known. Part of that problem was my fault. I was too embarrassed that my mother acted the way she did to tell him. Now I was running franticly to go find her, with no real inclination as to where the hell she was. All the while the kid that I wanted to keep from seeing how fucked up my life was, was following me. I guess the reason why I didn't want him to know my life sucked was because for once I wanted to seem normal to someone. I didn't want him to know me as the kid with a drug history, a dead father and a sick mother.

"Where would she have gone to?" Adam asked, now beside me.

I stopped walking, and glared at him. I could feel the fire in my eyes, and here the growl in my speech. "How the fuck should I know!"

I broke down right there in front of him, too tired of holding in all the emotion. "I never know what is going on in her fucked up mind! This is what she does. She disappears and never to the same damn place twice! I never get clues to help me. Hell, I doubt she even know where the fuck she is at most of the time when she isn't sober! It makes me crazy!" I screamed, stopping to catch my breath.

Adam didn't say anything, he just stood there and let me resume my rant.

"My life sucks. There is now way around it! It is full of all this shit that just keeps piling on top of each other. I don't own any fancy clothes, or drive a fancy car. Jesus Christ. I have to borrow the neighbors damn lawn mower because my mother sold ours for alcohol! I never eat lunch at school because I'm to busy making sure that my mother isn't dead! My life is as shitty as it gets, and finding my mother is just part of it!"

By the time I was done, tears started to fill my eyes as my rage drifted into despair. After a short time, my heavy breaths calmed and I wiped the water away that was lining my eyes. I shut them shortly, feeling a little better having let that all out.

The air between us fell deathly silent as neither of us said anything. Adams eye were on the ground, watching the toe of his boot kick a small pebble on the cracked sidewalk. Even though I felt better, it wasn't a strong enough feeling to allow me to forget that my mother vanished again. Soon the thick air was too much for me to handle, and I began to walk hastily into town. Surprisingly, Adam trailed behind me, even though I just verbally abused him.

"Tommy?" Adam said cautiously. I knew he stopped walking again because I could no longer make out the unique sound his boots made when they hit the side walk. I didn't stop though. I needed to find her before dark, which was approaching quickly.

"What?" I grumbled, anger the only tone my voice could make.

"How 'bout we go to my house and pick up my car, then go look for her. We could cover more ground that way."

My feet halted, and I turned to face him. "You really plan on driving me around Los Angeles in your fancy little mustang just to look for my mother?" I laughed humorlessly rolling my eyes beginning to walk away again.

The expression on his face changed as I looked away and turned to concern. "Well yeah." He said shrugging. "I wouldn't joke about it."

Something inside me calmed hearing that come out of his mouth. I wasn't used to such things being said to me by almost complete strangers. Monte knew she had problems, and I knew it was hard for him to show any concern anymore. I spun and looked at him for a long time, studying his face, which appeared to hold true emotions. The smile that I thought never left his face was gone, and replaced by a hard line that was borderline frown.

I took a deep breath, turning on my heel towards him. "Okay." I said looking into the stormy sea clouds that made his eyes. "Lets go."

* * *

**A/N: Haha well there is chapter four! let me know what you thought! i love hearing from ya'll! Also if any of you have a Twitter follow me _Glampire92_ let me know you are reading my story and will let ya know each time I post a chapter! **

*****Thank you to my beautiful reviewers! you make me smile! xD keep it up! 3**

**~Jackie**


	5. No One Else

****DISCLAIMER****

**Me: **_(to the readers) _This chapter is really a continuation of chapter four, but decided to cut it in half cuz it was REALLY long. I hope you enjoy it!

**Tommy: **_(comes in frowning) _I'm not going to get hit by a bus or anything am I?

**Me: **_(fake pouts) _Aww how did you know?

**Adam: **_(Snickers beside me, dressed in his Glam Nation get up.)_

**Me: **_(realizes both of them are dressed for a show.) _You guys have a show tonight? _(frowns)_

**Adam: **Yep.

**Me: **_(real pouts) _But what about my chapter?

**Tommy: **_(Thinking he is gonna get out of reading the chapter grins.) _Well shoot, I guess you'll just have to give us the summerized version. . .

**Adam: **_(shakes head smirking) _Oh no Glitter's, we will read it after the show. _(drapes arm over Tommys shoulder and walks off.) _Now come on, we're late.

**Me: **_(laughing)_ I don't own those two, no matter how much I wish I did. Read, Review and Enjoy!

* * *

~CHAPTER FIVE~

And you, let me kick it to the floor  
And you still come back for more  
You're too good, what did I do to deserve you?

- No one Else

As it turned out, Adams house really wasn't that far from mine, but the scenery was considerably different. The sidewalks weren't cracked and uneven, and most of the houses were surrounded by tall iron fences that kept kids like me out. I couldn't help but feel that wall start to materialize between the two of us. He was so different.

I was amazing how just a few blocks could change so dramatically. The phrase 'From rags to riches' took on a whole new meaning. Honestly, I didn't know why I expected anything less than perfect when it came to Adam, he himself was almost just as flawless. This was one of the nicest neighborhoods I had been in, and the longer I walked down the pathway, the more out of place I felt. People that were out in their yards enjoying the nice weather, turned their heads as I walked by. My ripped blue jean, dirty sneakers and odd hair style were and obvious give away that I didn't belong here. They were the 'Polo' people.

Adam lead the entire way, his long strides taking us quickly down the smooth concrete walkways, until we reached a medium sized home. The outside was decorated neatly. The narrow foot path leading up to the house was made of red brick, lined on both sides with various flowers and small solar powered lanterns. The thick blanket of grass was the greenest I had ever seen in my entire life. Every blade was the same perfect shade of emerald green, and looked like carpet. The patio, which easily could set ten to twelve people, was shaded by large, towering palms from the front yard. There was an elegant setting area, with fancy metal chairs and a glass top table with and umbrella that provided more shade from the burning sun. Long story short, the house was a work of art. It was an old two story Spanish style home with archways and red curved shingles that I couldn't remember the name of. There were hair- like vines that snaked up to the balcony on the second floor.

Like him, I stopped in the middle of the pathway , marveling at the elegance of the home. Adam chuckled slightly seeing me, then continued on up to the front door.

"Your house is…uh…nice…" I nervously scratched the back of my head feeling obligated to say something. After all, he had been able to find beauty in the ugly oversized shack I called a house. Beauty was the most prominent feature of his house, and it seemed rude not to complement it. He glanced over his shoulder with a smile on his face.

"It's just home." He said modestly.

He removed a set of keys from his pocket, as I made my way across the patio. When he found the right one, he opened the door and I followed him hesitantly inside.

The interior was even more breath taking. The foyer into which we entered had high ceilings that stretched both stories, and was lit by a bright chandler suspended from a thin iron chain. The banister on the staircase was made of the same dark metal, twisted into elegant knots. I looked around, taking in everything I could, and all of a sudden felt even more out of place and uncomfortable. I didn't belong in a place like this. I was the kid from the wrong side of the tracks. Being in Adam's house made me feel like a trespasser.

Gradually, I heard light foot steps coming down the stone steps. I looked up to see a woman with dark shining hair descending the stairway. Her eyes lit up, and a familiar smile painted her pink lips when her eyes fell upon Adam.

"You're home!" she said delightfully reaching out to embrace her son.

The same smile parted Adams lips as he returned the hug, kissing his mother on the cheek. I stood awkwardly off to the side, impatiently tapping my foot as I watched the sun sink deeper into the horizon. If Adam planed on helping me, he was gonna have to save this happy family shit for later.

"Who's this?" Adam's mom asked raising her thin brow like I had seen Adam do.

Adam's cheeks flashed a vivid pink before he said anything. "This is Tommy. Tommy Ratliff." He told her.

I gave best almost smile, knowing until my mother was safe I wouldn't even be able to think about actually smiling. "Tommy this is my mother Leila."

"It's nice to meet you." I insisted, holding out my hand.

She smiled and took it. "Like wise."

Leila looked me over - with a slight smirk on her face, then looked at her son. "I like him Adam. He's cute." With that said she walked past both of us and into the kitchen down the hall. My eyebrows pulled together, confused by her comment. I looked at Adam, hoping for and explanation, but only received an nervous laugh as he walked the way his mother had gone.

Before I followed him, I glanced around the room, taking in all of it's magnificence, then with a heavy sigh, proceeded into the kitchen. Like the foyer, it too was finely decorated with top of the line appliances and little nic-naks, and everything was so clean it sparkled. It was insane.

Leila was sitting at the small kitchen table with a pair of glasses placed at the tip of her nose, looking over various fabric samples.

"Interior Designer." Adam informed me upon seeing the strange expression on my face. I nodded. Now it made sense why everything was so spotless.

"Hey Mom." Adam said grabbing a set of keys from a hook on the wall. "I'm gonna go to go help Tommy, so I'm taking my car."

"Help Tommy with what?" she asked looking up from the samples laid out before her. I froze. I wasn't about to explain my life story to his mother. She seemed kind enough, but I had only met the woman three minuets ago. At least I'd known Adam twenty-four hours before I told him. Even that was way too short of a time, but I blew it.

I glanced at Adam, hoping he could make up something, because at the moment I was at a loss of words.

"Home work, and it might take a while so I'm talking the car so I don't have to walk home in the dark." His smooth lie came out so effortlessly I even believed him. Not once did he fidget of stutter like I sometimes did. His voice was just as flawlessly even as always.

"Okay. But first go help your brother find his Nintendo before he rips the entire house apart. He can't find it." she said looking back to her work.

My fists clenched together at my sides to keep myself from screaming. I needed to fucking find my mother, and I was about ready to ditch Adam and go by myself. I heard him sigh, and he gave me an apologetic look before quickly making his way to the stairs. Just because I found it rather awkward standing in his kitchen alone, I tagged along after him

The upstairs was less decorated and more un tidy. There were still unpacked boxes lining the sides of the hall - I had forgotten he had just moved here. Adam entered a bed room that was near the end of the hall, which I assumed belonged to his brother. The inside of the room was the exact opposite of the down stairs portion of the house; boxes on top of boxes were stacked and knocked all over. The contents spilled onto the floor piles of useless shit; clothes, books, magazines, there was too much to name. The only thing in order was a bed, a book shelf and a TV all placed neatly along the back wall.

Adam gracefully maneuvered himself around the mess, making his way to the dark haired boy digging angrily through a box in the corner of the room. He was mumbling profanities to himself as he ripped at the boxes fiercely then forcefully threw it to the side.

"Whoa, calm down Neil before you break something." Adam chuckled.

The boy, who looked like he was about fourteen, glared at him.

"Where is my Nintendo?" he hissed, then his eyes landed on me. "Who are you?"

I had been in the kids presence for ten minuets and he already annoyed me. I wasn't in the mood to handle this kind of shit from a little prick like him. Before I got an attempt to introduce myself, Neils eyes got really big, as if coming across some grand realization.

"Ooooohhh." he drug out the word. "Are you Adam's boyfr-"

"Here it is!" Adam cut him off suddenly, bringing his brother the game console. He gave Neil a long knowing look, the same one he had given his mother down stairs, then turned to face me.

"Come on Tommy. We got to get that homework done." Adam grabbed the sleeve of my hoodie, pulling me back down the hall and into the garage.

~oOo~

"What the hell was that about back at your house?" I finally asked as we pulled onto the busy streets of LA. We drove with the top down, the warm September wind blowing our hair from our faces. Adam's thumbs had been nervously drumming the top of the steering wheel ever since we left his house

"What do you mean?" He asked. There was a hint of uneasiness in his voice.

"Well your mom called me cute for one...and then your brother looked kinda freaked out when he saw me." I explained.

Adam didn't say anything. Instead he kept drumming the top of the steering wheel. I didn't take my eyes off of him, knowing the longer I staired at him, the sooner he would tell me. From the time we left the house to now, his aurora had changed. He didn't seem as free, but rather restrained.

"Um...my mom was being friendly. And Neil is. . ." He paused. ". . .Neil."

For the first time I since met him, his voice was shaky and uneven. He was lying, and this time it wasn't easy for him.

"Bull shit!" I exclaimed glowering at him.

Adam winced at my harsh tone, opening his mouth to say something then didn't. I waited annoyed, still keeping my eyes on him. When I realized he wasn't going to say anything, I looked out were the window would have been. I didn't appreciate him lying to me, but right now I had bigger problems.

Just then, as Adam stopped at a red light I glanced into the window of a bar, and there she was. My mother was sitting alone at the counter, with what looked like a bottle of whisky sitting in front of her.

"Stop the car!" I yelled as Adam began to pull away. "She's in there!" I pointed to the building.

Adam shot a quick look inside the bar, then as quickly as possible, pulled the car over, parallel parking next to the curb. By the time I jumped out of the black mustang, we hadn't made a complete stop. I landed wrong on my foot and fell over skidding my palms on the rough concrete. The car skidded to a stop, I brushed my self off and once again I could hear the sound of Adams heavy steps behind me as I entered.

The inside of the bar was dim and foggy due to the permanent cloud of smoke hanging in the air, which upset my stomach. On the wall hung bright neon advertising signs for various beers as well as other random pieces of junk. It was almost empty inside apart from the few people in the very back of the old bar, but that was about it.

With out hesitation I walked right up to my mother, ignoring Adam's warning- he didn't know to deal with her like I did.

"Mom?" I spoke quietly so I didn't startle her, knowing at this point she would be a loose cannon. Just by looking at her blood shot eyes and clenched fists I could tell that she left the broken drunk at home, and had let the anger and resentment consume her.

Her head snapped my way, her eyes wild. "Whothe fuck areyou?" her words slurred together. Adam defensively stepped forward, flanking my left side.

"It's me, Tommy." I said taking a step closer to her. She turned back to the bar, her fingers now twitching. I motioned Adam to step backward, and he did so. It was only a matter of time before her short fuse burnt out. Slowly, I reached out my hand and placed it gently on her shoulder.

"Mom?" I tried again. This time she didn't turn around, but her fingers continued to twitch nervously.

"Mom?" my voice was shaky.

When my fingers made contact with the skin on her shoulder she spun around, her blood shot eyes full of wild rage. Her arms lashed out and pushed me away.

".!" she growled.

I stumbled backward, tripping over my own feet and fell onto the cold, hard floor. A sudden jolt of pain shot through my body like lightning, and almost instantly there was a loud ringing in my ears. My mother continued to cry out lividly, someone was shouting my name, but all the sounds blurred together in one muffled noise and my vision started to tunnel. I felt myself go weak and my head began to throb, but before I could slip into unconsciousness a pair of strong arms pulled me to my feet. It took a moment for my sense to go back to being somewhat normal, but as soon as I could stand without Adam's help, I went after her again.

Not the smartest thing I know, but I couldn't leave her here in the state she was in. This time she threw an empty shot glass our way, Adam and I both dodged it. With all the strength I could muster up, I jumped on her back locking her arms behind her. She fought back valiantly, trying to buck me off like a wild horse, but I held on. The struggle didn't last much longer though. My mothers strength was draining quickly with me weighing her down. With one final attempt to throw me off she spun around, crushing my lower back into the edge of the bar. More pain shot through my already aching body, and she threw her head back, splitting my lip in the process. Instantly, the rich metallic taste of blood filled my mouth and my head began to throb again, causing the ringing to return.

When her plan failed to throw me off, she sank to the floor with me still on her back. In a split second her body was on the ground and the angry drunk was gone, replaced by the depressed one. My mothers eyes welled up, and she began to sob uncontrollably - tears rushing down her cheeks like small rivers.

"I'm sorry." she cried. "I'mso so sorry."

My mother continued to weep until her body went limp beneath me, and I let go. I crouched beside her, using my sleeve to wipe away the blood pouring from my lip. She just laid there, trembling and crying, mumbling apologies that were nothing but hollow empty lies. By morning she wouldn't remember anything and none of it would matter.

I managed a glace in Adams direction from under my long bangs, who had watched the entire horrendous scene in silence. His face shown no expression of what he really thought, he only looked down at my mother in pity. I didn't want to know what he was thinking, because I knew if nothing else, with what he had witnessed today, would scare him away for sure. A person could only handle so much, especially someone as sheltered as Adam.

I stood up, brushing the sweat from my forehead, and my mother curled herself into a ball on the cold floor, crying harder.

"Would you kids get her the hell out of here." the bartender behind the counter suddenly spoke. He was a short, squatty man with no hair on his pointed head. The white shirt he wore was stained and unclean and a cigar hung form his fat lips.

"Fuck off." I snapped, picking my mother up from the ground. I placed her arm over my shoulder - like I had done so many times before- leading her to the exit, keeping my head down so I couldn't see what ever look was on Adam's face.

"Hey, you don't expect me to let that bitch walk out of here do you?" the bald man working the counter snarled. His snake like eyes bore into me like knives, and I felt my blood begin to boil. Now was not the time test the boundaries of my temper. Before I could open my mouth to say anything, Adam whispered beside me. "It's okay, I'll take care of it."

"Are you sure?" I asked knowing I wouldn't be able to pay him back for a while.

"Yeah, go get her in the car." Adam pulled his wallet from his back pocket and walked over to the bar to pay the ass hole, while I took my mother out to the car.

Outside the sun was almost swallowed by the vast horizon, and the LA skyline was painted with vivid gold's and oranges. The people passing by on the street watched with curious eyes as I loaded my mother in the back seat of Adams black mustang. As soon as I let her go, she fell over in the seat, curling up and whimpering. I shook my head disapprovingly at her. I wanted so much better for her than this, she had the potential, or at least she used to. Now I didn't even recognize her anymore like I thought I did. My mother was dead.

I sighed, rubbing the back of my head as I got into the passenger seat. There was a lump beginning to form and when I leaned my head against the soft head rest, a sharp twinge shot down to my toes.

"Ow...God Damn." I rubbed the spot again, this time checking to make sure it wasn't bleeding, which luckily it wasn't. My head started to ache after that. The throbbing was pulse like, and I took deep breaths, closing my eyes hoping that would make it better. My hearing wasn't ringing anymore but it still felt like I had been hit with a baseball bat.

"Here." Adams soft voice said quietly. I opened my eyes to see him holding out a small bag of ice. "It should help the swelling."

I looked up into his beautiful, smoldering eyes, gratefully taking the bag from him. Not once had he uttered a complaint or showed any sign that my life repulsed him like it would so many others. In my gut though I felt that something else was off, and this time I wasn't sure what it was.

My life was the opposite of what people thought it was like in this fucking city, like I've said before. I had no glamour, no fame, no fortune.

"Thank you." I told him. "and not just for the ice." I added.

He gave me a forced smile, something was bothering him and my gut feeling got stronger. I tried to ignore it- blowing it off as nothing. I had hit my head pretty fucking hard, so it had to be in my mine. He quickly got in the other side of the car and drove me back to hell.

~oOo~

The second my mother passed out, the ride became painfully silent as we drove home. Neither of us said a word, I kept the ice on my head, and Adam drove, drumming his thumbs on the wheel again. The soft glow from the dash board controls just barely lit Adams face, but it was enough for me to see that something was still bothering him.

My heart sank- jumping to conclusions. It all had gotten to him after all, my life was already pulling him from me just when I had let him in. Why didn't I wait? I thought. If only I had put it off, gave him more warning. If I would have been stronger, I would have left him standing alone in the parking lot earlier. But I ignored my instinct and it would leave me broken. As soon as he pulled up to the curb in front of my house, I would be this close to him. The thought pained me more then it should have. The hole in my stomach would be empty again, and everything would go back to the way it was before, the way it was meant to be.

I closed my eyes and let out a long breath to diminish all the thoughts I was wasting energy on. Things were always going to be a disappoint ment in my life, and I was just going to have to live with it.

Soon I felt the car stop underneath me, and my eyes opened. I was back. Back to my useless house that only brought my nightmares and self loathing.

Adam turned off the engine when he pulled up to the curb, and sat back in his seat looking at me.

"I'll help you get her inside." he finally said, unbuckling.

I removed the ice from my head, knowing if I left it there any longer, that part of my scalp would permanently be frozen. The two of us got her out, distributing her weight of both of our shoulders. I pulled the house key from her pocket and Adam helped me get her settled in her bed. The whole ordeal took a lot longer then it should have, just because she refused to cooperate when she woke up, but we managed to calm her down eventually.

A while later, the two of us stood in the door way, saying nothing, just looking at eachother. It would have seemed odd to anyone else, but it wasn't to me. Our gaze wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. It was deep and meaningful, like we were reading eachothers intermost thoughts.

There was something Adam wanted to say, I could see it in his blue eyes. It seemed though, he wasn't sure he should say it.

"Thank you." I said again, hoping that if I spoke first it would encourage his response.

If he planed on telling me that he could handle my life and never wanted to see me again, then I'd rather him tell me now and get it over with.

"Don't mention it." He paused, rocking back and forth on his heels. "I'd better get home."

The tone in his voice was anxious when he turned to walk back to his car. I whispered a good bye under my breath and leaned against the door frame watching him. He stopped half way between the house and the car.

"Can I tell you something?" he asked, sounding unsure of himself. In three long strides he was standing on the porch in front of me again.

"Yeah, sure."

I braced myself for the lashing of good byes that would surely follow. Adam looked down at his feet, biting his bottom lip, still rocking on his heels. He fidgeted a little while longer, as if rethinking his actions.

"I have to admit," he finally started, still looking at his feet. "earlier when you told me that it was a bad idea to walk home with you because you lived the way you do, I thought you made it up so I wouldn't follow you. But now I can tell you weren't kidding-"

"And after living it for a day you don't wanna have to deal with it. I understand." I finished the sentence for him in a whisper, looking down at my feet. Adam's focus was suddenly on me, his face looked hurt.

"No. Not at all. Is that what you think?"

"Well who would want to put up to this?" I asked holding my arm out. Adam just shook his head.

"What I was going to say was, that since you were so honest with me- having just met me I might add. I think it's only fair if I'm completely honest with you."

"Okay. . ." I wasn't sure where this was going.

"I wasn't going to say anything until I knew you and Monte better, but I think after today you deserve to know." His voice although some what shakes, was fueled by the same passion like yesterday in Government class. He paused shortly, and swallowed. I had never seen him so nervous.

"You can tell me Adam." I said softly, letting him know he could be open with me. After what I had put him through today, he deserved that much. For a brief moment he broke eye contact to look back at his feet, then took a deep breath and locked his blue eyes on mine.

"I'm...gay..."

Suddenly a lot more made sense. His whole paper about freedom of speech and expression, as well as the way his mom and brother acted earlier. Sure I wasn't expecting it, but when I thought about it now, it really did make sense.

An odd sensation came over me then, and I started laughing uncontrollably. I couldn't even remember the last time I had laughed so hard, and boy did it feel good. The only down side was that it wasn't the best time to start laughing again.

Adams expression turned to annoyance. "What the fuck Tommy? It's not funny!"

Hastily, obliviously pissed at my reaction, Adam made his way back to his car. I realized instantly how it looked to him and composed myself the best I could and rushed after him.

"Get the hell away from me." he scolded, his blue eyes firey.

"Adam hang on." I caught my breath, still not done laughing. "You misunderstood. I'm not laughing at you. I swear to fucking God I'm not." I took in another breath. "It's just the past few hours have made me sorta crazy, and all this excess build up of emotion finally burst." I looked deep into his eyes, connecting with him. "I'm sorry. I couldn't stop myself."

I hoped he believed me after all I had put him through. Adam's face lightened.

"So you're not making fun of me?"

I shook my head. "Hell no!"

Adam let out a sigh.

"Did you really think I would throw a fit because you're gay?" Dude that is so not me!" I laughed, placing a steady hand on his shoulder.

"So we're cool then?" Adam asked, his voice turning back to normal.

I could almost see the weight lift form his shoulders

"Yeah." I shrugged. "I'm cool."

Adam smiled the widest I had ever seen him smile before. "I'll see you at school then."

"Okay."

He waved when he got to his car, and drove off into the night. I stood on the porch for every bit of ten minuets after he was gone, letting the cool night breeze calm and relax me. Adam was the most heart warming, understanding, accepting person I had ever met. I couldn't deny him access in to my life any longer. I would let him in, and hopefully he would never disappear.

* * *

**A/N: That is my new record on updates! lol you guys are spoiled, but i love you all! don't forget to follow me on twitter Glampire92 and tweet me so i know who my readers are and i will follow back! :D but yes please leave me a review, they make me smile soooo much!**

****Thank you readers who review! i love ya all soooooo much! **

**~Jackie**


	6. Save me from myself

****DISCLAIMER****

**Me:**_(waiting with fellow coven member Jaz)_ You have to be nice to him. Tommy is kinda . . .Grr. _(scowls and claws the air.)_

**Jaz: **_(raises an eyebrow) _Grr?

**Me: **_(nods)_

**Jaz: **_(crosses arms.) _Well I don't care, as long as Tommy signs my top hat.

**Me: **No promises.

**Adam: **_(walks in smiling.) _Chapter 5 was awesome...not great for Tommy but I liked it. _(laughs)_

**Me:**_ (looks around) _Speaking of Tommy, where did he go?

**Adam: **_(bites lip nervously and looks behind him)_ Um. . .

**Tommy: **_(walks in, his shirt is ripped and his hair is messy; various shades of lipstick smeared all over his face.) _Women are vicious. . .

**Jaz, Me & Adam: **_(laughs)_

**Jaz: **_(nervously twitiching 'cause she can't believe both Adam and Tommy are so close. She holds out a silver top hat with a lime green feather.)_

**Me: **_(Sees Jaz; then smiles at Tommys lovingly.) _Tommy. . . I'm sorry about last chapter.

**Tommy: **Sure you are. _(wipes lipstick off of his face.) _My fictional mother just beat the hell out of me and you're sorry.

**Adam: **_(rolls his eyes)_

**Me: **_(looks at Tommy, back to Jaz then to Tommy again.) _Tell ya what. I promise this chapter will be 100% better than the last one it . . .

**Tommy: **_(eyes narrow)_ If what?

**Me: **If you sign my friends top hat that you didn't sign after the concert we went to back in August.

**Adam: **_(Confused.) _Why didn't you sign it Tommy? _(looks at Jaz)_ I remember signing it.

**Jaz: **_(turns red and giggles)_

**Me: **He didn't sign it cause of those 'vicious women'

**Tommy: **_(Thinks, then gives up.) _As long as I don't get beat up this chapter I have no problem. _(signs the hat.)_

**Me: **_(to the readers) _Now that that is all taken care of, enjoy the next chapter in which Tommy does not get beaten up by his mother. ENJOY!

**Tommy: **_(shouting)_ I am my own person! She does not own either of us!

**Adam: **Shut up Tommy!

* * *

~Chapter Six~

"It's not easy loving me, if gets so complicated

All the things you've gotta be, everything's changin

But you're the truth, I'm amazed by all your patience

Everything I put you through."

- Save me from myself

Things were getting better, surprisingly they were. I hated to admit it for the fear of it all falling apart again, but life somehow had picked up different pace. Hopefully I was headed for some place better then where I had been stuck for so long. Some things were inevitable though, I would always have that shitty house and Adam's would always make me feel less than perfect. My mother, crazy and insane as she was, was even getting better. I could hardly believe it. She had been attending some group rehab center place once a week, which appeared to be helping. In the beginning she put up a hell of a fight, but in the end she knew she needed to go as much as I wanted her too.

Monte and I started playing at a local bar and grill down town two nights a week, earning actual money, and it was good money. It was drug money that painted a big ass target on my head; it was good hard earned cash. The place paid us little, but by the time the tips were added, we were doing great. And depending on how drunk the people got the more money we usually made. The only down side was the reeking smell of beer and whiskey.

I had even saved up enough money to put the car in the shop so I wouldn't have to ride with Adam every day. It wasn't that I didn't want Adam giving me a ride, I actually enjoyed it more then I should, but I would feel more freedom the second I had the car back.

Six weeks had passed since Adam had first shown his beautiful face as the new kid, and he had worked his way under my skin. Every week that passed and he was there to laugh and smile- even at some of Monte's bad jokes- made my life seem less of a waste. I found myself anxious to see him every day, longing for those beautiful eyes and blissful smile. I knew that no matter the weather, his smile could always brighten my day. Never would I've thought I would grow so fond of someone like Adam. He was charismatic and flamboyant, I wasn't. The wall I feared would divide us was practically nonexistent now. Adam was too good for them, so I realized he would never be one of them.

Since Adam had gotten here, and I was always at his side, a new routine had started. On the days that we all three, Monte, Adam and me, ate together we would sit at the table farthest away from everyone else. All the other kids knew we had claimed it, so we never had to fight for a seat. The three of us would talk and laugh, even stress over assignments and projects. My life was becoming somewhat normal and less of a struggle.

The days I enjoyed the most were the ones that Adam and I had lunch just the two of us. The theater arts teacher had taken quite a liking for the new kid from Indiana, and gave him her extra set of keys to the building. Students weren't permitted to leave campus to eat, but that didn't stop us, Adam simply went and asked Ms. Baker for the keys, and the two of us got to go eat food that wouldn't eat us first. And when he went to her class after lunch, he would just hand her the keys.

So far, we hadn't gotten caught, but my gut told me there would be hell to pay if we ever did. But I wasn't going to dwell on it, not when things were actually going good. I hoped all the bad stuff had finally worked its way out of my system. Mom was healthier, I was happier, and Adam was more comfortable since he had 'come out.' I told him he didn't ever have to worry about me feeling awkward, because, honestly it didn't bother me that he liked dudes. That was just the way things were. We also agreed to be each other's vent, meaning we were there if either of us needed to spill their problems to someone. I listened to him, and he listened to me, although, never really seemed to have any. I hated pouring my troubles all over Monte anymore, because I did it to him all the time, so it was good to have someone else. I felt more connected to Adam anyway. We had both had problems that made us hate ourselves at time or for him, uncomfortable. Now we could tell each other everything. In the past few weeks we had become one individual, or close to it. We always knew what the other was thinking or if something was bothering the other. We fit together like lost puzzle pieces. We read each other so well it was unbelievable. Monte and I were never like that. Adam and I shared something on an emotional as well as a physical level, and I wasn't sure what it was.

At first, I thought that things would be a little funny between us, when he first told me he was gay, but it was in fact the opposite. With Monte and I both knowing he felt like he was freer to be himself. He wouldn't have to hide who he really was when he was with us. Although for me, I had to admit it was somewhat odd because I would catch myself staring at him for no real reason other than the fact he was nice to look at. I couldn't help myself sometimes, and it should have felt strange, but it didn't. Being with Adam was as easy as breathing.

Adam sat across from me in the small café, gazing out the window, playing with the straw in his glass. Today he had been unusually quiet, which was not like him when it was just the two of us. He always seemed to have something to talk about, even if it was about the most random things. I could tell his train of thought was somewhere else entirely, focused on something distant and out of reach. He hadn't touched the burger and fries he ordered, which were now too cold to eat. My eyes wondered over his face, trying to obtain something from it, but instead I just ended up staring again.

"Are you okay?" I finally asked, taking a cold fry from his plate.

He turned his head around and looked at his glass of water instead of me – keeping those hypnotic blue irises hidden under dark lashes. Adam bit his bottom lip, and twirled the straw in his cup, watching the spin in the clear liquid.

"You seem distracted." I added, cupping my hands around my warm coffee mug.

Today it actually felt like fall. California didn't have very many gloomy days, but when and if they did, they sucked. It had been raining all morning and the temperature was below normal.

Adam chuckled lightly. "I'm sorry." He looked up and his eyes met mine. There was no pain or fear in them, just nervousness. "I do seem distracted don't I?"

"Maybe just a little bit." I shrugged.

He leaned forward and rested both of his fore arms on the surface in front of him.

"The auditions for the fall musical are today after school." He explained.

I smirked. "Are you gonna audition?"

"I want to." He said.

"Then go for it." I insisted, "You'll do fine."

He smiled. "You think so?"

"I know so." I said taking a drink from the ceramic mug.

Recently I had discovered that every now and then Adam needed to be reminded just how spectacular he was. He blushed and laughed nervously, repositioning himself in the bench across from me.

I had never heard him sing before, so I really didn't know if he was any good at it at all, but there was no doubt that his voice was amazing. It was even when he spoke. His voice never cracked or stuttered, like everything else he did, it flowed seamlessly into his every move.

Adam cleared his throat. "….Um…did you and Monte bring your guitars to school today?"

His question came from nowhere.

"Yeah. Why?" I asked finishing off the rest of his cold fries.

He fidgeted with his straw again, and then looked back at me. "Because they are also holding auditions for a band to play the music, and I just thought that maybe you and Monte could try out." He paused waiting for a reaction from me.

I wasn't sure what expression took my face but he quickly changed his thinking.

"I mean the music isn't exactly what you like to play but-"

"No! I think it would be awesome." I said quickly.

The idea of participating in an after school function really wasn't the most alluring, but it gave me a reason to be around Adam more. I could only imagine what some of the kids at school would say when I showed my face in that auditorium. It would be interesting, that's for sure.

Adam smiled and I turned to watch the stormy clouds out the rain spotted window. Through the down pour out side, bright numbers flashed on a messaging sign at the bank across the street.

"Aw shit!" I exclaimed standing up quickly. "We're going to be late!"

Adam glanced out the window, squinting and stood as well, cursing under his breath. Both of us threw a couple bills on the table for a tip then rushed out to the black mustang parked the farthest from the building- holding our jackets over our heads until we were save under the roof of his car.

~oOo~

The auditions were held in different parts of the auditorium, which frustrated me. Anyone wishing to be in the actual show had to go to the stage, where as those looking to try out for the band were supposed to report to the band room. I wouldn't get to hear him sing after all.

I had been in the band room only once, which was perfectly fine with me, and that was to beat the hell out of a kid when I was in middle school for making fun of Monte's bad haircut. The whole experience was bad and I didn't care to relive it. Four weeks of polishing tubas and washing mouth pieces for a punishment can do that to a person.

The line we were waiting in was quite long, most of the other kids carried cases for flutes and other traditional band instruments. The big guitar cases Monte and I had looked out of place.

"Why are we doing this again?" Monte asked.

"Because Adam wanted us to." I said flatly, switching my guitar case to my other hand

The longer I stood in line, the less appealing and the more annoying the idea became. I would say Adam owed me big time, but he already helped me get my mother back on track, as well as take me to and from school every day. So no, he didn't owe me, I owed him.

"What's the play even about?" Monte asked, bored.

"Probably something cheesy." I warned, just as lifelessly.

"Great."

I hoped it wasn't The Sound of Music, or something shitty like that. There wasn't even guitar in that kind of music. Come to think of it, most of the God damn show tunes out there didn't have very much guitar. I got the feeling Monte and I were shit out of luck.

The band geeks around Monte and I talked in their nasally high pitched voices, giving both of us narrow eyed glares that made it clear we were not welcome in their stinky band room. Lucky for them, I didn't wanna be there either. I sighed, moving forward a tiny bit, as the long line inched closer to the auditioning room.

The two of us waited broadly a while longer, until we were finally the next ones to audition. My heart started pounding in my chest, anxious. Behind the thick wooden door the shrill sounds of trumpets played, then abruptly stopped. A few seconds later two scrawny sophomores came out of the room, mumbling angrily to themselves. Monte gave me a confused look, I shrugged pushing open the door when a voice called "Next!"

The room we entered was little more than a storage closet. All the shelves had been removed and the only thing occupying the dimly lit space were a couple of stools, a narrow table with three chairs and three adults. None of them were teachers, and they looked less then happy to be here. A single piece of paper sat atop of the table with a few name written on it. The man sitting in the middle eye's lit up when he saw the guitar cases, which I hoped was a good thing.

"What are your names?" The man sitting on the right asked.

"I'm Tommy Ratliff, and this is-"

"Monte Pittman." He finished introducing himself beside me.

The man in the middle leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table with a smirk on his face.

"I've heard you two play before." He said.

My eyebrows pulled together.

"Fridays on Main Street, you both play at the bar." He explained. "you're both very talented."

"Thank you." Monte and I replied together.

The man turned to the people setting beside him, and began to whisper a conversation. It was difficult to make out what they were saying, but they all started nodding. When they all faced us again, the man in the middle had a smile on his face.

"Okay, you both are in."

"But we didn't even play." Monte pointed out, a little taken back.

The man shook his head. "No need, I've heard you both multiple times, and it sounds beautiful. This should be a piece of cake."

He wrote our names down on the paper, told us when to show up for practice and pointed us to the door. The entire thing was like a blur we couldn't have been in the room longer then five minuets. I felt like we had just cheated everyone out of a job, but I didn't care. This gave me one more reason to be around Adam and that was all that mattered.

I smiled to myself as we walked down the wide hallway. It was a great feeling knowing some one recognized your talent, and it was a little breathtaking. We walked past the auditorium where the singing auditions were taking place. They were supposed to be closed auditions, but the door was propped open by a box. The sudden temptation of hearing Adam sing was overwhelming. Impulsively, I yanked on Monte's sleeve, dragging him into the large room and to the back row of seats.

It was dark in the concert hall except for the stage where a girl was singing a recent overplayed pop song. Even from where I was sitting, I could see her small frame shake and tremble while she tried to sing every lyric without stuttering.

As I sat there, listening to the poor girls nervous solo, I hoped Adam hadn't already auditioned. I knew Monte could really careless whether or not he got to hear Adam sing, but I wanted to, now more then ever. It was one talent he had never shown me, but always promised to eventually, and I figured sooner was better then later.

The chairs were a tight squeeze, and I repositioned myself to sit more comfortably, realizing this could be a while. For once I was in no rush to get home and make sure my mother was still breathing. She was well enough now that she could manage pretty well on her own, and I had to give Adam parcel credit for that. Without him I doubted I would have taken living in that mess much longer. It would've been a lie to say I hadn't considered suicide once or twice during the bad days. But I had already lived through those consequences, and I didn't want to have them placed on anyone's shoulders.

After ten long minuets of nervous loud singing and bleeding eardrums a familiar voice echoed through the empty auditorium. Upon hearing him, I sat up straighter, smacking Monte- who had fallen asleep- with the back of my hand. Adams voice no longer sounded nervous like it did earlier back at the restaurant, instead it was that same singsong tone I loved.

"Mr. Lambert," a female voice asked from the front row. "What will you be singing for us today?"

"Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen." Adam said confidently.

My nose wrinkled immediately, hearing the title of his song choice-not my favorite- but nonetheless I listened when he began to sing. His voice started out soft, and gradually grew louder, hitting every note perfectly. Goosebumps covered my arms, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up hearing the haunting melody.

"Holy shit." I whispered to myself in amazement.

Adams voice was nothing short of heavenly. It belonged in a choir of angels, as corny as it might sound, but it was beyond true explanation. My ears were used to the gnarled sounds of Manson, and other metal bands, but his voice took an unearthly presence that filled the entire room with calming tranquility.

When his alluring voice ceased, the auditorium was over taken by a defining silence that made my ears ring. An emptiness lingered in the air, as the woman in front said nothing and waved Adam off stage without the slightest complement or critique.

The bottoms of Adams boots scuffed the wooden stage as he made his was down the short set of stairs, seeming somewhat disappointed with the lack of judgment he was given. I didn't blame him though, I would be upset if my talent wasn't recognized especially when it was as exceptional as his.

Adam sat down in one of the cushioned chairs towards the front, and watched the rest of the auditions. Some were good, others bad, and some were just flat out awful. Some people were just not cut out for musical theater. I began to question my ability to stand the nonsense any longer, but I struggled threw it.

An hour later, the woman from the front, along with the three people from the band auditions all gathered at the far end of the auditorium, whispering amongst themselves. Monte had fallen back asleep beside me- I kept my fingers crossed that he wouldn't start snoring, and went to go complement Adam on his tremendous vocals. I walked down the slanted isle, staying low to the ground so I would get caught since I wasn't supposed to be there in the first place. Swiftly, I slid into a seat behind Adam.

"Hey." I whispered, making Adam drunk.

"Jesus Tommy! Don't do that."

I held a finger to my lips to hush him, then he smiled.

"What are you doing here?" His eyes looked around the nearly empty room, then focused back on me. I shrugged and smirked.

"I wanted to hear you sing, and that was fucking amazing."

Adam blushed. "Thanks, I could have done a whole lot better though. I kinda freaked out when I got up there."

He was too modest.

I shook my head. "Best one I heard."

"Thank you." He said again.

It fell silent for a few moments as we waited for the other to say something. He was the first to speak.

"How did your's and Monte's audition go?" The hopeful twinkle in his eye made me smile.

"We got it!" I raised my voice just enough to show excitement, but kept it soft enough not to be noticed. "The guy we were going to play for has been down to the stupid grill before. He's hear us both play and gave us the part right away."

"Holy Moses." Adam smiled. "Lets hope I get just as lucky."

"I don't think you have much to worry about." I assured him.

He smiled at me, showing his liquid clear eyes and brilliant white teeth and my heart skipped a beat. Adam was truly beautiful and flawless, inside and out. Utterly perfect. I often wondered if my imagination had made him up, but I doubted my ability to think up someone so compassionate and understanding as he was. Perhaps maybe he was my guardian angel, but that was stupid, there was no such creatures.

A slight chuckle broke the short silence between us.

"You're blushing." Adam pointed out with a smirk.

I instantly looked to the floor, letting the long strands of blond hair hide me cheeks. The embarrassment only added to the already pink hue.

"Um..." I couldn't think of an excuse quick enough. What was I supposed to tell him? 'I cant stop looking at your eyes because they are so gorgeous?' Yeah that would go over well. But it was the truth, and weren't we supposed to be honest with each other? I was at a loss, and completely confused. Now that my mother was some what back to normal, all I could think about was Adam.

"I...uh..." My voice caught.

Adam just looked at me with a mischievous gleam in his cobalt blue eyes, and a crooked smile painted on his face. I could see the wheels in his head turning, and before I could fined my voice again to defined myself, the woman in charge of auditions stepped onto stage. She carried a large stack of scripts and Adam took his eyes off me and turn his attention to her.

"If I call your name, come up and take a script. The one you are given will have your parts high lighted." The middle aged, slender woman spoke with absolutely no enthusiasm, or gave off any aura that made her seem like she wanted to have any part in this. Her attitude was really beginning to piss me off. These kids had shown up to do this thing, using time they could be spending to do hell only knows, but instead they were her for her fucking musical

Since my life had taken a turn in a better direction, I paied more attention to people because I had less to think about. I never realized how screwed up some of them were. Sure I was no angel, but good lord, it was worse then I even thought. My mind wondered.

"Practice starts on Monday." she added lazily, calling out more names.

I sat waiting with just as much anticipation as anyone waiting for a part would have. If Adam didn't get a part, there was no way in hell that woman would be leaving the school in one piece. Now that I was guaranteed a part in the band, I wanted nothing more then for him to get on in the play, after all, the whole reason I was did it was to be around him. He had to get a part, he just had to. There was really no reason why he wouldn't, the kid had a set of lungs blessed by God himself, and looks that are we...insanely beautiful. He was star, know doubt about it.

The endless flow of names continued without even the tiniest hint of Adams name, and all of his hope seemed to be slipping out of reach until the very last one.

"and Adam Lambert."

He got up quickly, probably with a huge grin on his face and went to claim his part. When he reached her, she handed him the script, then said something I didn't understand, and then they both looked my direction. I sank in my chair. The look on Adam's face was odd; it was a mix of amusement and embarrassment, but the woman glared at me with cold eyes. I resisted the sudden urge to flip her off-expressing how I felt about her, and instead looked at the floor.

~oOo~

"I didn't get you in trouble did I?"

The three of us walked out of the building and into the dreary sun light. The rain had stopped for the time being, allowing the sun short attempts to show itself until it was swallowed by the giant gray masses.

"No." Adam laughed finding something funny.

Monte said a quick 'See ya later' and strolled over to the white pick up a row behind Adams black sports car.

"What did she tell you then?" I asked curious.

I tossed my bag and guitar case in the back seat of his car before getting in the passenger side next to him. There was a nervous smirk on his freckled lips.

"She told me I wasn't allowed to bring my 'girl friend' to practice with me." Adam fought a laugh and my eyes narrowed.

"That bitch thought I was your girl friend!" I shouted angrily. What the fuck was wrong with her? Was she blind? I was not a girl, it was obvious. I was missing two very important parts of the female anatomy if I was.

Oddly though, the fact some old wench called me a girl was the only part I really had a problem with. If she had told Adam not to bring his boy friend to practice-which for him made more sense- I doubted I would've reacted the same.

Adam's boyfriend. I let my mind digest that thought for a second, finding it more appealing than I should. I didn't have feelings for him, at least not those kinds of feelings for him... Right? Then why did I feel the need to be with him constantly, like he was my air supply and I was drowning in the sea of madness? I blinked myself out of the non sense my brain was causing. That was too much for me to process at once.

"I'm sorry Tommy." Adam chuckled. "I thought it was amusing."

"Well it's not." I grumbled.

Adam reached over and ruffled my blond mop of hair, and my mood lightened. Ruffling my hair was a habit Adam had picked up about a month after he got here, and it was a habit that was growing into an addiction for me. I loved the feel of his smooth fingertips on my scalp, but he would never know that, it was my secret pleasure that I planed on keeping to myself.

"But you are cute." He stated frankly, like it was common knowledge. "and adorable, especially with your temper."

I felt a sudden heat wave take over my face, and I turned to gaze out the window to hide my blush. All the boyfriend thoughts drifted back into my skull, making thins worse. I promised myself I wouldn't blush in front of him again, even though I knew that was hopeless. He was just too damn charming.

On the way home we laughed and joked and for once I felt like a normal teenager- which was a big deal to me. By the time Adam pulled the car up to the curb outside my house, the awkwardness was gone. Adam could make any uneasy feeling go away and make them disappear like they never happened.

Adam parked the jet black car and looked at me. "Same time tomorrow?"

He always asked the question even though he knew the answer. I nodded pulling on the strap of my book bag around me from the back seat, as well as my guitar. The operation took lots of skill and concentration, but after weeks of practice I had mastered the stunt.

"Yep." I gave him a quick smile, exited the car and stepped on to the side walk.

Adam leaned over in the drivers seat, keeping his left hand on the wheel to look out the passenger window, and I bent over enough to see his beautiful face.

"Let me know if you need anything. I can be here in a heart beat." Adam's promise was sincere and comforting.

"I will." I assured him with a smile. "See ya tomorrow."

He said good bye, briefly reminding me of his promise again, and pulled away from the curb, leaving me alone on the broken pathway under threatening storm clouds.

When I walked into my house it was nice not to be knocked over by the intoxicating odor of alcohol that used to linger in the air. Adam and I had taken the liberty of removing every last bottle personally. We tossed every last bottle in the dumpster down the street empty or not. The two of us practically ripped the entire house to pieces to make sure we hadn't missed any of my mothers hiding places, while documenting where they were incase I needed to remember. It was an exhausting two day job, but having my mother back was worth every back breaking minuet.

I walked in, stopping just short of the old stair case that lead to my room. I stole a quick glance into the living room, where my mother was sitting on the couch. She was peacefully watching a news broad cast- we couldn't afford any of the good channels. A bottle of water was setting on the table next to where she was sitting, and she was snacking on a bag of potato chips Adam had brought over.

Hearing me enter, she turned her body so her elbow dropped over the back of the couch, and looked at me confused. "Why are you home so late?" Her chocolate brown eyes were no longer sunken or blood shout, and her long hair shinned like it used to.

I dropped my bag on the wooden floor, setting my guitar case beside it gently.

"Monte and I. . .uh...auditioned to play the music for the fall play." I explained, taking a few steps towards her with my hands in my jean pockets. Her head nodded in approval.

"That's good." she paused "How did you do?"

I smirked, realizing I was glad that I got the part, especially when they thought you were good without hearing us play. I stepped closer to the couch and kissed the top of moms head.

"We got it." I said happily walking back to the of the stairs. "Oh, and practice starts after school on Monday. So I won't get home until later."

She nodded again., unscrewing the plastic cap of the Mountain Ice water bottle. "Is that Adin kid still going to bring you home?"

"Adam." I corrected, somewhat coldly, which she didn't catch.

"Yeah him. We don't have a car and I don't want you walking home in the dark." she took a long drink from the bottle then put the cap back on.

I tugged the shoulder strap of my book bag over my head and gripped my guitar case. "Yeah. He is in the play." I paused looking at the time indicated on the TV news bulletin. "I've gotta lot of homework I need to get done so I'll be upstairs if you need me."

She nodded, turning back to the TV screen. "Love you Tommy."she called as I went up stairs. Her voice had a strange tone to it, but I wasn't sure what it was. When I was in my room, a blissful smile spread across my face, happy to hear her call me by my name instead of what she used to. For once I could go up in my room, listen to what little music I had not sold yet, play my guitar or just simply relax, which was something that felt to good to be true.

* * *

**A/N: Okay so sorry this one took a little longer to get up...my computer freaked out and I couldn't type for a two days...so I got it up finally. I will also be posting an Adommy one shot inspired by one of my favorite Glamberts on twitter _fANNAtic3. (FOLLOW HER!) _So look for that one up sometime this weekend, if you follow me on Twitter (Glampire92) i will let y'all know when it is up aready for you to read. So yeah i think that is all i have to say for now...leave me a review! I love them so much! 3 ;)**

****THANK YOU to all of my beautiful Glamberts who are leaving me reviews! You are all my favorites! xD 3**


	7. You Found Me

*****DISCLAIMER*****

**Me: **_(waiting with both Jaz and Jami-also a coven member and just as crazy about Adam and Tommy as I am.) _He's not gonna be happy when he sees I brought you two.

**Jaz: **_(proudly sitting with her signed top hat on her head.) _He already met me. Jami is the one who might run into a problem.

**Jami: **_(eyes narrow at Jaz)_ What is that supposed to mean?

**Me: **_(rolls eyes as bickering breaks out between them.) _Guys come on. I'll make both of you leave this disclaimer if you don't behave!

**Jami & Jaz: **Fine!

**Adam & Tommy: **_(they both enter together, Adam with his arm over Tommys shoulder, Tommy is smiling.)_

**Me: **_(confused; not used to seeing Tommy smile) _Why is he so happy?

**Jami: **_(Behind me freaking out just like Jaz and I did.)_

**Adam: **He's glad he didn't get hit, beaten or maemed this chapter.

**Me: **_(laughs)_ See, I told you that was a good chapter.

**Tommy: **You still called me a girl. _(frowns)_

**Adam: **Oh for crying out loud, that wasn't the first and it sure as hell won't be the last time it happens.

**Tommy: **_(frowns deeper)_

**Me: **_(realizes Jami is having a spaz attack behind me and i sigh) _Tommy, could I ask one more favor?

**Tommy: **As long as I don't get beat up or ran over this chapter.

**Me: **_(thinks about it.) _Okay!

**Tommy: **Whataya want me to do now?

**Me: **_(grabs Jami who is giggling uncontrolably and takes her to Adam and Tommy.) _She wants you to sign her ticket.

**Jami: **_(gazing at them dreamily) _Hi. . .

**Adam: **_(chuckles) _

**Tommy: **_(Takes ticket from Jami and signs it.) _There you go.

**Adam: **That was nice of you Tommy. _(smiles)_

**Tommy: **Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now can we read the Chapter before Jackie goes and gets more of her friends?

**Me:** _(laughes and looks at my readers)_ Enjoy this chapter, my favorite so far I think. And hopefully Tommy won't be too angry when he gets done reading it.

**Tommy: **_(panicked) _What!

**Me: **_(winks at readers.)_

* * *

~Chapter Seven~

"Lost and insecure

You found me, you found me

Lyin' on the floor"

It was never ending, or at least it felt that way. There was only ten minuets left in Government, then I could escape and go to practice with Adam. Practice and Adam was the only thing that gave me the incentives to come to school most days. I just kept telling myself that it was almost over, other wise I doubted my ability to make it through Franke's mono-tone lectures again. I really had absolutely know fucking clue whatsoever what material we were talking about in class now, so it truly didn't matter if I was here or not. Our government was fucked up anyway. For the past two weeks, the only thing that I had been concentrating on doing is going to practice- that's all I ever wanted to do. I got to be there, play my guitar and listen to Adam's beautiful voice sing along to every cord I played. Who would have thought I was actually enjoying staying after school.

My eyes narrowed into a scowl, glaring angrily at the clock. The slender red minuet hand slowly ticked it's way around the white face, causing my foot to start tapping with anticipation. There was that old saying "A watched pot never boils." Well a watched clock never fucking moved. I wanted out so bad I had started to twitch, and frankly I was starting to really freak myself out. Why the hell did I want out so bad? I already knew that answer though; I couldn't stand being in the same room as Adam and not be sitting close to him. Once that bell ceased my growing agony I would be able to be next to him once more. I hoped I didn't appear to be clingy to him. There was a number of times people had been clingy to me and I didn't appreciate it.

"Tell ya what." Mr.. Franke started, standing up from his desk. The tone in his voice was one that everyone knew, and no one liked. "I'm gonna have you do a project over what this entire section of the book covers" he paused. "You can do it with a partner or on your own, I don't care which. I want a two page report as well as a poster.

Everyone in class groaned and sighed.

"I want them ready to be presented next Thursday."

As he added his final comment, the bell rang and everyone in class left like the room was on fire. I immediately placed myself at Adams side, feeling better the second I was close to him. Every time I got close to him, all the stress build up and negative emotions my body was keeping locked away evaporated.

We slowly made our way down the hall until we reached his locker, which was surrounded by a horde of brainless bone heads and their slutty girl friends. They all looked at the two of us discussed, with cold eyes and walked away smugly. My eyes narrowed, and my lip curled.

"What the fuck is their problem?" I hissed, watching them strut down the hall liked they owned the place. Adams eyes followed mine, then looked away ashamed.

"They...uh, aren't quite as accepting as you and Monte are." he said softly, loading his book bag with all of his stuff.

My eyebrows pulled together. "How did they find out?" I asked, feeling my blood hot, as hatred coursed through my veins like venom ready to poison them.

Adam shrugged. "I guess you tell certain people who you thought he could trust your secrets. Then the next thing you know, fag is spray painted on your locker door." He slammed his locker shut, and stared pitifully at it.

I gasped, seeing the three huge letters painted bright pink across his locker. Something in me snapped at that moment seeing the hurt and embarrassment hidden in Adams eyes. My body reacted before I thought my action through and the next thing I knew, I was running down the hall after those kids- every step fueled with rage. I wanted to rip them all apart, I wanted more then just that. I wanted to taste their blood, and watch it spill onto the over polished floor, while their body's laid limp at my feet. I didn't want to see Adam so hurt and venerable, left to suffer the consequences from the horrible act. How could they be so crule to a person, especially Adam? He was nice to everyone, even the low life's who didn't deserve his kindness. There was absolutely no excuse for this shit. Did the teachers not even notice? What the hell was wrong with everybody?

The culprits had stopped down the hall, gathering by another row of lockers, all laughing. They weren't sorry for their vicious act. There wasn't even the slightest glimmer of remorse or sympathy in their eyes for their victim. They needed to pay. In some way, I would have their blood. There was five of them and only one of me, needless to say my odds were not the best, but I couldn't just let this go ignored like everyone else did. Adam had done so much for me, I was obligated whether he thought so or not. I had to stand up for him because at this moment, he was the one that needed protected. Never had I ever seen him so venerable, usually he was nothing short of bullet proof.

Out of the group, I singled out the smallest one, who just so happened to be the guy most likely to commit such a heinous crime. Todd Butler had been a trouble maker slash kiss ass since kindergarten. He was also known for other various discriminatory acts such as this, but never seemed to get punished for any of them. My guess was it was because he was the start quarterback on the football team, and the school didn't want to loose such a valuable player. It made me sick.

My size helped me remain un-noticed as I stalked my prey so that none of them seen me coming until I used every ounce of my strength to push Todd into the metal lockers.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!" I scolded.

All five of them stared wide eyed at me, and Todd looked confused and completely awestruck at first until he looked back at Adam, then he smiled curly.

"I don't know what you are talking about Ratliff." he said smugly, gaining evil snickers form pack of delinquents.

"Bull shit!" I growled "Who the hell gives you the right to do that to a person!"

Todd laughed darkly. "No one needs to give me any right, look at that queer. He's been asking for it since the day he brought his fruity ass in here!"

My blood was scorching, and it took everything in me not to claw his fucking eyes out. "You don't even know him, because if you did, you would realize that he is the most selfless, caring compassionate person in this entire fucking school. Adam is a way better person than any one of you could ever dream of being. Who gives a fuck about orientation! So what! Love is love, God damn it! And it sure as hell doesn't take away from how kind and loving a person is. And none of you will ever have the privilege of knowing that kindness."

My out raged shouting had drawn a crowd, but I didn't care. My main thing to focus on right then was to not bash the mother fuckers face in. I took deep, heavy breaths, my fingers were twitching at my sides as I glared at all of them. I felt like a bull in a bull fight. Glaring, nostrils flared, huffing and puffing, never taking my eyes off of my target.

Todd seemed completely unfazed, and utterly bored by my attempt to frighten him, which pissed me off even more. He shrugged once then made it so his ugly face was just inches form mine and he smirked. "He likes to fuck other guys, that makes him disgusting."

That was all it took for me to loose my cool, I couldn't contain it any longer. I was going to rip his head off. I lunged forward suddenly, knocking him backward onto the floor as my fist smashed into his nose. Before I got the chance to lay another one on him, a set of arms pulled me off and slammed me against the lockers. My immediate response was to fight back, because my vision was blurred due to my rage, and I could only make out shapes. Strong hands locked my arms tight at my sides.

"What the hell are you doing Tommy?" Monte's voice asked. His grip was tight, but I still tried to free myself- jerking and kicking, without much success.

"I have to- and they- I will kill him!" My crazed shouts this time seemed to freak out Todd this time. He stood up and stumbled backward, bumping into the principle, who I didn't even realize was there.

"What's going on here!" Mr.. Stevenson demanded loudly over all the commotion. Everybody was a little scared of the principle. He was six foot five, with beady eyes and I was convinced he was secretly a Nazi.

Monte let go of me and stepped back into the crowd of people. Todd positioned himself cowardly behind Mr.. Stevenson, smearing the trail of blood pouring from his nose, onto his sleeve. I smirked to myself seeing the surprise on his face. I wanted blood, and I got it.

"He hit me sir." Todd accused. "For no reason."

My blood boiled hearing his lie, and Monte had to step up and restrain me again before I could punch him a second time. There was absolutely not enough words or profanities to describe how much hate I had for the son of a bitch standing before me.

"is that true Mr.. Ratliff?" the principle glared at me.

"Not entirely." I spat, pulling myself free from Montes grip and pointed to Todd. "that-scum bag- vandalized a students locker." I chose my words carefully as I explained. "He wrote fag on Adam Lambert's locker."

Somewhere in the crowed, soft snickers broke out, making my teeth clenched upon hearing them. Mr.. Stevenson looked at Todd, then down the hall towards Adam's locker - with no emotion on his wrinkled face.

"Mr. Butler." He finally said. "Go and see the school nurse right away, your nose may be broken." He paused and Todd staggered off to the school office. "As for you Ratliff, fighting in school is strictly prohibited. Detention. Room 34 now." he pointed down the east hall.

"And writing words like that on a kids locker is?" I spat.

He didn't say anything at all as I glared at him. "You don't even care do you?" I hissed.

Mr. Stevenson sighed. "Mr. Ratliff, I have hardly the time to deal with a small crime such as vandalism when there are students like you who go around punching star athletes around for participants in a practical joke."

"Practical joke!" I lost my cool again. "How is that a fucking practical joke! Whoopee cousins are practical jokes. Kids kill themselves over things like this! Writing such demeaning word on a students locker is sickening! Are you fucking blind!" Jesus Christ!"

Mr. Stevenson's face turned red hot, causing a vein to pop up under the skin on his wide forehead. "You watch that mouth of yours and get yourself to detention now!" The longer I stood there, the redder and more ugly his face became.

After glaring at him for a long three or four seconds, I decided not to say anymore, knowing I would just make things worse on myself. I glanced around the thinning crowd for the set of crystal blue eyes I needed to see, but couldn't find them.

Suddenly I was consumed with an overwhelming feeling of emptiness, fearing that my out rage scared him, and he had finally had enough of me, just when I couldn't get enough of him. No matter what though, I could just let those kids do that to him- silently mocking him just because he was being himself, now that was disgusting. Adam had helped me though so much shit that this seemed minor compared to all I had put him through. If there were more people on this planet that were even half as great as Adam, then this world would be a hell of a lot less fucked up. But people were just too blind to see things the way he did.

As I walked down the long twisting hall to the detention room, I felt myself get weaker. It was like every ounce of energy was drained from my body. Being excessively mad at someone was exhausting, but I would do it all over again for Adam. I was starting to get protective of him, which was one reason I went off like I did. I felt the need to protect him after all that had been done to him. Plus my hormones were playing cruel games with my heart that threw my entire system out of wack, which in turn caused my fuse to burn more quickly. I was feeling things I was afraid to admit, even though none of them were ever odd or uncomfortable. They were just different, I wasn't used to feeling things like that. The pure euphoria that I got being with Adam was addictive and intoxicating, which made it hard for me not to think about him. What was it that made me feel so...attracted to him?

I sighed, and snapped back into reality, seeing the dreaded confines of room 34 detention just a few steps ahead of me, and went inside.

~oOo~

For the first time in two and a half weeks I missed practice, and it pissed me off. Detention did absolutely nothing for my inflamed temper except potentially make it worse. Practice was the only damn school function I enjoyed, and I was forced to miss it. Of course it didn't help that show was just two days away and people were starting to get loopy. I wasn't upset that I actually missed practice itself or the fact that the director would have my head, I was made because I didn't get to hear Adam sing. Listening to him was my favorite part of the day, other then being able to look at him, and I hated not getting to hear his skillful voice during practice.

The school was hauntingly quiet when detention let out an hour and a half later. The small few that with me were the only kids left in the barron wasteland of a school. I never realized how spooky the school building was after it was empty. The flickering lights, which were hardly noticeable with a full hall now made the building eerie.

I took no time getting my shit from my locker, wanting out of the prison like building before I exploded. I soon realized I had one hell of a walk a head of me. The thought lingered in my mind and I wasn't too thrilled about the idea. I had been close to two months since I walked home last. But good things had to come to an end sometime or another.

When I opened the glass doors and stepped out into the sun light, I was surprised to be met by Adam in his shinny black mustang. Just seeing him look at me with that crooked smile on my face was enough to make me forget every shitty thing that had happened to day. I felt like I could breath again- suffocating from our separation.

"I thought you could use a ride." Adam smirked peeping over the rim of his dark sun glasses, causing me to laugh. An aura of perfection radiated from him, filling me with happiness as I got into the passenger seat.

We listened to the radio on the way home, and Adam sang the songs he knew with his beautiful voice. I soaked up every note like a sponge with my head against the rest, eyes closed, letting the breeze from the missing top blow away all my worry.

"I was thinking," Adam started, once the current song ended. "Did you wanna come over and start working on that project for Frankes class?"

I nodded, my eyes still closed-relaxing. "Sure."

I probably should have gone home, but after the day I'd had I owed this to myself. "That sounds good." I said with a smile spreading across my face. "I'll just call my mom and let her know where I'm at."

"Awesome."

I could here the grin in his voice as he turned onto his street of perfect houses and emerald green grass.

The last time I was invited to Adams house was on a weekend for a BBQ- which was the most abnormally normal thing I had done in two years. The small get together only consisted of Adam, me and his family and was somewhat odd at first. But it didn't take long though before any uneasy and awkward feelings were completely gone and I felt just like family. Like Adam, his family had a presence about them that made it difficult not to feel welcome and at ease.

Still, every time I came to visit, the house was spotless. Not one thing was ever out of place, and it always smelled fresh and clean. Even though Lelia and Eber welcomed me with open arms, I still felt they were all too good for me. This time when I walked in it was no different. As soon as we entered the tall ceilings foyer, Adam's mom greeted us both with a warming smile and a tight embrace.

"It's good to see you Tommy." She said.

"It's good to see you too." I would always say lamely.

Adam and I went upstairs to his bed room, where there would be no distractions while we worked on our project. His room was the last one down the hall, I peeked into Neil's room as we went by, and to no surprise he was glued to his game console. I didn't understand the attraction of video games, I would much rather sit on my ass and watch a movie or play my guitar all day than stare at a television screen all day until my eyes went numb and my brain came seeping out through my ears. Neil really wasn't a bad kid once I finally go to know him, he was just a typical fifteen year old that thought he knew everything, and wore way too much cologne. I also learned that he was almost the polar opposite of his brother. Adam was free spirited and laid back, where as Neil was easily pissed off and moody.

I dropped my stuff onto the floor when I walked into Adams room. Although the walls were painted a blank white, they were covered with half a dozen posters. The large glossy pictures were all of his favorite singers; ranging form Led Zeppelin to Freddie Mercury from Queen. The room itself was a fairly good size, with a small balcony looking out over the front yard.

His bed was where I placed myself. It was the softest fucking thing I had ever felt, it was like laying on a cloud, and I sighed. The anger and hate was finally out of my system from earlier, even though I knew if I seen Todd in the hallway anytime soon, I would personally take the liberty of removing his head from his shoulders.

"where should we start?" Adam asked, tossing a note book pen and text book onto the bed before climbing on himself.

As he sat cross legged in the center of the fullsized bed, I stretched for the over sized text book. I turned the pages lazily until I came to the chapter I assumed we were studying.

"who the hell know." I grumbled looking at the scattered words on the page.

It read like a foreign language to me, some of the words in the context looked made up and unreal. The two of us and procrastinated for as long as remotely possible, then decided on a working method that would have the best results. Since Adams hand writing could be passed off as art work and mine looked like shit, I read all the seemingly important points aloud while he put it in his own words on paper. The entire process took longer than both of us wanted, and was so painfully lifeless, it made a funeral seem like an amusement park. Nonetheless, we trudged through the agony, only to come out yawning.

My eyes had only fallen shut a moment when Adam finished. "there." he yawned. "that mother fucker's done."

"Glory hallelujah!" I gowned smacking the book shut and tossed it to the carpeted floor.

Adam fell backward with a sigh, and I placed myself beside him on my stomach. Even with him just laying there it was easy to see both his inner and outer beauty. My eyes wondered over his body memorizing ever curve and how his gray t-shirt loosely fell off his torso. I was mezmoried by the simple action of his chest rising and falling as he took each soft breath; three wasn't a single flaw anywhere to be seen. I allowed my eyes to roam over his body a little longer, then stopped myself before I could blush.

Instead I attempted to focus on something other then Adam, which was a hell of a lot harder then it should have been.

My eyes scanned the walls, moving from poster to poster, stealing a glance Adams way every once in a while. He looked so peaceful that it made me smile until my mindless gazing landed on the digital clock on his desk across the room.

"Shit!" I cursed, rolling off the bed and onto the plush floor with a thud. Adam sat up quickly, startled by my sudden out burst.

"What!" he looked at me frantically.

"I forgot to call my mom." I explained. "can I use your phone?"

Adam scooted off the bed and walked over to the cordless phone and handed it to me. "yeah here."

"thanks."

I swiftly dialed my home number, nervously tapping my foot as I waited for my mother to answer. The ear piercing ring sounded four times be for she picked up on the other end.

"Hello?" My mothers groggy voice said. There was something unsettling in her voice.

"Mom it's me. Are you okay?" I asked.

There was a long pause on the other end of the phone and imagined her shaking her head yes.

"Yeah, I. . .um. . .fell asleep on the uh the couch." She finally said. "Ron-Tommy where are you? Why are you not home?" her voice turned panicky

"Calm down, I'm at Adams-"

"Who?"

"Adam Lambert? I'm at his house. Okay? We are working on a school project. I'll be home soon." When I finished explaining there was a long pause again.

"Okay. Bye"

She hung up the phone so quickly I didn't have time to say anything else. The phone lingered at my ear for a second, then my finger pressed the 'end' button on the keypad. I held the device in my palm for a while, just staring at it- trying to decide if what I was feeling was paranoia or my gut instinct telling me something was wrong. Her voice didn't sound slurred like it normally did when she was drunk, she just sounded tired like she said.

"Is your mom okay?" Adam asked softly.

I thought a moment longer then answered. "I think she is just tired." I said, hoping to convince myself.

Relived, Adam laid back on the bed like before. I got up and put the phone back on his desk, knocking over a picture of Adam with his dad. That was when I realized I had never told him what happened to mine. Even from the beginning he didn't ask about my father, and I guessed I had always planed on telling him in the back of my mind. But the timing had always felt off. After all, we trusted each other. Monte was the only one that I ever told about what happened, because I knew when it happened those two years ago eveyone would treat me different. I liked being ignored most of the time,and when people felt sorry for you all they did was cling to you- I did not want any part of that. I trusted Adam full heartedly so it would be easy to tell him, not to gain his sympathy, but to let him know that I was comfortable enough around him to talk about it.

"Adam can I tell you something?" I said after a long period of thinking and looking at the picture of Eber and Adam.

I put myself back on the middle of the matress, and Adam propped himself up with his fore arm. Our eyes met, and I knew in that instant I would always trust him.

"What's wrong." he asked after a while of me just gazing into his cobalt eyes.

I sighed. "I wanna tell you something I've never really told anyone."

* * *

**A/N: Muahahaha! a Cliff hanger!...okay not really but still...this chapter and the next one i think are my favorite, idk why but i love them...lol so yes ;) Leave me a review cuz you know i love you all *heart* follow me on twitter if you don't already _Glampire92 _and if you wanna follow my friend 'Jaz' on twitter {she is Glambert obviously} _GLITTERbaby93. _Let me know what you thought! xD**

***And to those of you who may have caught my rant on twitter about me getting pissed off while I was writing this chapter, it was because I cant stand ppl like my character _Todd Butler. _Both his character and the principle were making me mad, and I was the one that wrote it...haha but still, I think ppl need to get over their differences and things like that because it is just stupid. Hopefully now you know why i was grouchy the other day. *NOH8***

****On a lighter note...thank you to all my beautiful reviewers! you all have a very special place in my heart! **

**~Jackie**


	8. Scars

****DISCLAIMER****

**Adam: **Where did your friends go? _(looks around)_

**Me: **_(shrugs) _I sent them away, it was getting to complicated with them here too.

**Adam: **_(nodds) _Oh, _(smiles) _By the way, I really enjoyed chapter seven.

**Me: **_(surprised) _Really?

**Adam: **Yeah, it was sweet.

**Me: **_(blushes) _I hoped you'd like it.

**Adam: **It was great. Tommy even liked it!

**Me:**_ (shocked) _Really?

**Adam: **_(grins) _Yep.

**Tommy: **_(walks in, upset.) _Did you already tell her?

**Adam:** Yes.

**Tommy:** I wanted to! _(stomps foot)_

**Me:** You've secretly liked it all along haven't you?

**Tommy:** No! I just liked this chapter.

**Adam:** _(sarcasticaly) _Yeah because you'd punch a guy in the face for me.

**Tommy:**_ (seriously) _Of course I would!

**Adam & Me:** _(surprised) _Really?

**Tommy:** _(annoyed) _Yeah... as long as the ass hole deserved it. . .

**Adam:** Aww, thats so sweet Glitterbaby!

**Me:** _(to the readers)_ Enjoy the next chapter! Please leave me a review while Adam and I give Tommy a big bare hug!

**Tommy:** _(eyes grow wide)_ Wait, what?

* * *

~Chapter Eight~

"Take me, this is all that I've got,

This is all that I'm not, all that I'll ever be,

I've got flaws, I've got faults

Keep searching for your perfect heart

It doesn't matter who you are

We all have our scars, we all have our scars."

**FLASHBACK**

It was hot, sweltering even. Entirely too hot for October even for sunny California. Sure the weather stayed moderately warm year round, but this heat wasn't natural. I was convinced it was a sign from the devil himself. I couldn't remember the last time fall weather felt like summer. The blinding sun beat down on the top of my head, causing a constant trickle of sticky sweat to run down my face. The only thing I wanted to do was get home and take a nice long cold shower.

It was times like this, that I missed that old car more than ever. The white ford really wasn't anything to be proud of, but at least I could drive it and get home faster than walking in this dry heat. Of course now I didn't have a choice. The car had been totaled in an accident a couple months ago, which meant I had to walk to and from school ever fucking day. I guessed it really wouldn't have been that much of a problem if one: it wasn't so fucking hot and two: I didn't have to carry all kinds of shit home. My book bag weighed about as much as I did- which was ridiculous, and cumbersome guitar case wasn't much easier to lug around. I always had the option of riding the bus home, but frankly the idea of walking thirty some blocks was more appealing.

When I got to my street, I compressed a sigh. This neighborhood used to be one of the nicer places to live on the east side of Los Angeles, but all it took was some gang activity to begin to ruin it. Slowly it was morphing in to slums; full of crack houses. Even the sided walk seemed to be affected by the dramatic changes. Every day the cracks grew a little longer and the holes a little deeper. Soon walking would be a strenuous activity.

As I turned onto the small pathway that lead to our front porch, I realized how much the grass needed cut. Lawn care had always been my dad's job, leaving all the inside work to my mother and I. Lately though, all of his chores had become mine since the accident because of the medication he had been taking. The prescription was to his violent mood swings, but the only thing the drugs had succeeded in doing was making depressed and irritable. Most of the time he just sat in his arm chair, staring blankly off into space with a sorrowful expression. Sometimes I wondered if he was even there at all, or if he had finally succumbed to his vacant mind.

The door knob stuck when I reached for it- making my frame of mind even more uptight. By the third try I got it to work and I entered my house. The same old house aroma filled my nose, along with something stronger and pungent.

Mom was busy in the kitchen cooking dinner, slaving over a pot of what smelled like chili. Why on earth would she decide to make chili when it was a hundred and ninety degrees outside? I shrugged and let the thought pass. I like her chili.

I dropped my stuff at the foot of the stairs and walked into the kitchen. Mom looked tired and stressed, but she still pushed herself onward. Looking for a part time job was slowly draining every oune of energy from her, not to mention all the house hold chores she had to do. I helped has much as I could, but it still never seemed to really do much. I wasn't about to lie to myself, I knew as well as she did that we needed the money. Dads salary just wasn't cutting it anymore. She left the same time every morning with my father in a taxi to go job hunting, then some how managed to get home in time to cook supper for me and my father.

I walked over to her, and wrapped my arms around her small frame. She jumped slightly from my unexpected touch, then laughed.

"Smells good." I complimented.

"Thank you." she smiled.

"How was job hunting?" I asked keeping my arms wrapped around her waist and my chin resting on her shoulder. The smile on her face faded and turned into a frown.

"Not good." she sighed, stirring the pot.

"There's always tomorrow." I said lightly, kissing her cheek and unlocking my grasp. "Dad not home yet?" I continued, looking at the clock in the living room. My father was usual home by now, unless he had errands to run.

Mom shrugged and kept stirring. "He must have gotten stuck in traffic."

I watched the wooden spoon swoop back and forth in the large pot of chili for a few seconds, then decided I needed to wash the sticky coat of sweat from my skin.

"I'm gonna take a shower." I told her.

"okay, be quick. This is almost done."

I smiled at her, and squeezed her tightly before going up stairs. My mother had been so stressed since the accident, taking care of my father, taking care of me and trying to find a job. I didn't know what I would ever do without her.

The old stairs creeked and cracked as I made my way to the bathroom in the upstairs hallway. Oddly, the door was closed, which only happened if it was occupied. From the small slit where the floor dipped below the bottom of the door, light peeked out. With a look of confusion on my features, I cautiously turned the door knob and opened up the a bloody massacre.

My entire world froze around me, trapping me in a deadly stillness that made me dizzy. Blood stained the white floor in an vivid crimson color, but was becoming a sickly brown hue as the substance started to dry up. The horrid metallic smell of blood mixed with the stench of decaying flesh filled my nose and I felt sick at my stomach. I was over come by a wave of light headedness that made me stumble and I had to fight to keep myself standing. I gripped the marble countertop, allowing my weakening knees more support. My stomach churned in a sickening flip and it took everything in me to keep from getting sick. Inside me heart raced, drumming loudly in my ears that I could hardly her. I felt feverish as I gazed at the scene before me. It was like something out of my favorite horror movies, only there was no makeup, this was all very real.

My father was on the floor, blood pooling under his his head. In his right had was a small caliber pistol, which he had used to put a bullet straight through his head. Red stained the broken mirror, which the bullet made on its exit from my fathers skull, and the shattered pieces piled in the sink. His green eyes were wide open, staring at me in a lifeless trance that froze me to the core. His stillness was eerie and my skin turned cold and clammy as my stomach flipped again. This time I wasn't going to be able to keep from getting sick if I stood there any longer.

Dazed and confused, I staggered out of the small room as fast as possible, tripping over my own feet. Warm tears welled up in my eyes and made it hard to see straight.I had to get out of the house. I didn't stop running until I was back out in the searing heat on the sidewalk.

My mother was at my side almost instantly upon seeing me rush out of the house.

"Tommy?" she asked. "What's wrong."

I shook my head, the words unable to form in my throat as I fought back tears. She attempted to calm me by rubbing my shoulders and embracing my shaking body. My mother knew it took a lot to scar me -a whole fucking lot.

"Tell me." she coaxed softly. "What is it."

I didn't want to tell her, it was too horrible. After all that we had already been through, after all that she had delt with already, she didn't need this too.

"Dad- In the bathroom-" I choked out.

I fell to the ground and out of her grasp feeling sick again. I hugged my knees closely as if to hold together the breaking pieces. My mother went to investigate, then out of the still air came a shrill ear piercing scream that I would never have the joy of vanishing from my mind, and I began to cry.

**END FLASHBACK**

Adam stared at me from across the bed, his blue eyes lined with sadness and sympathy.

"After that, it went down hill for both of us." I continued, pulling at a loose thread in comforter.

I glanced up to see the shimmering trail of a fallen tear streak down his cheek from his beautiful eye. I blinked back my own salty tears, and rolled up the sleeve of my sweat shirt, which was an action I very rarely did. On the inside of my arm, were the veins were closest to my skin, were over a dozen scars from puncture wounds.

"I tried to fix it all by getting high, and my mother tried with alcohol." I explained. "It worked for a while I guess, but soon I realized in order for mom to sober up, I had to get clean."

I rolled my sleeve back down, and Adam didn't speak or move, he just looked at me.

"I'm so sorry." he finally said.

"Don't be." I shrugged. "That is the last thing I want. It's all in the past anyway. Life goes on. . ."

I paused a moment, my mind tracing back to that horrible day- still able to smell and feel every second of it. There was so much that slipped my mind, and yet I remembered ever fine detail of that day. What I ate for breakfast, what the lecture was over in all my classes, all of it was trapped in my brain forever.

". . .I just wish I was as lucky as you are." I added.

The reaction to my statement was not the one I was expecting form him. The sorrow in his features faded and turned to puzzlement. "What?"

I shrugged. "You have the perfect life. You've got amazing talent, a beautiful home, and your family is awesome. Life is so much easier for you."

Adam shook his head, looking down at the bed. "Don't envy me. My life isn't perfect." he corrected quietly. "Okay, so I have a big house, so I can sing. So what? My parents can't stand each other Tommy. All they ever do is fight, and half the time I wonder if it is because of me. We only play happy family. It's just an act. That's what you're supposed to do in LA right?" he stopped and I could tell I had upset him.

"I didn't mean to-" I began to apologize.

"No, it's okay. That needed to come out of my system." he paused, and I waited to say something incase he had more to add.

"Did I ever tell you what happened before my family moved all the way form Indiana to here?"

I shook my head.

"I was hospitalized because I tried to off myself."

Adam removed the black wrist band he always wore to reveal four ghostly white marks on his skin. My breath caught as I gazed at he jagged scars.

"That's the main reason why we moved. I wanted to get as far away from that place as possible." he explained. "I almost died because I let some dumb ass kid make me think I was disgusting and useless. And today when I noticed my locker after class, I relapsed. Every memory from my old school and what I delt with there flooded back into my brain. It was horrible. . ." He paused. " . . . But then you stood up for me, and all those awful feelings went away, and I realized it didn't matter what those kids thought, because you believed I a was so much better."

His hypnotic eyes, pained and venerable, gazed endlessly into mine. "Having you here," he said. "has helped me forget it all. So thank you."

Adam's eyes were close to tears when he finished, making the blue even more liquid and sparkly. Words I wanted to say right then, emotions and feelings I wanted to express stayed tucked away inside of me for the fear of ruining this beautiful moment. It would have been a great time to tell him, but rejection kept me from saying anything. I realized that we were perfect matches for each other. He needed me because I was open minded and accepted him the way he was, and I needed him as a crutch to lean on when things got hard. We both had pasts to be ashamed of, and permanent reminders etched into our skin. We could have so much more together, but I couldn't stand the thought of loosing what we already had.

"You don't have to thank me." I told him, not breaking eye contact. "You're my friend; I couldn't let those jerks do that to you."

He smiled slightly. "Then I'm sorry you got detention for it."

I shook my head, "Don't be. I would do it all over again for you."

Suddenly, the intensity in his eyes changed, hearing those words come out of my mouth. Blue locked with brown as his face moved closer to mine. My heart started racing, and for a moment I forgot about what could happen if things went too far. Adams face stopped short of mine, allowing his arousing sent to drift into my nose. It was intoxicating to say the least. The fragrance made my head dizzy and my thoughts cloudy.

"Tommy I-" he whispered softly, leaning nearer, his eye starting to fall shut. My heart was pounding by the second, and I felt my own eyelids begin to droop. The anticipation swelled up in my throat, making it difficult to breathe correctly. I wanted to taste those lips on mine, feel their soft pink skin on mine. . .

"Thank you." Adam said quickly.

Confused, I opened my eyes to see that he was sitting back on his side of the bed, biting his bottom lip and picking at his nail polish.

My heart sank and I suppressed a sigh. Had I imagined the entire thing? Was I really that desperate? It felt so real, and I doubted my ability to conjure up such a heart stopping situation. I wasn't that creative. Even if I was real, he stopped at the last minute, and it just added to what I already figured. It wasn't going to work like that between us.

"You're welcome." I sighed lamely.

It fell quiet around us, and I glanced at the clock on Adam's desk.

"Maybe I should head home." I suggested, breaking the silence. Adam looked over his shoulder, reading the digital display on the small clock.

"Don't go yet." He pleaded when I got off the bed. "It's not even eight o'clock."

The smooth skin on his finger tips brushed against my hand, sending a wave of electricity through my body. Every hair on the back of my neck stood up and my skin tingled. I turned to gaze at him, and his eyes met mine with less intensity then before. He broke the stare and glanced over to the spot by the door where I dropped my stuff earlier.

"Let's practice." He coaxed. "Play me songs from the show and I'll sing."

I smiled at the idea, he knew I wouldn't be able to resist a chance to play my bass and listen to him sing.

For over an hour I strummed a verity of different songs, some from the play, others that we both knew by heart, and Adam sang. The poor acoustics in his bedroom didn't do justice to his Godly voice, but it was still the most amazing sound my ears had ever heard.

Time passed too quickly, and soon I was back in the passenger seat of Adam's mustang going back to my house. The ride was quiet and peaceful with the soft hum of the engine.

"Same time tomorrow?" Adam asked- like always, as I pulled my things from the back seat of his car.

I smiled getting out, "I'll be waiting." I assured him. "Good night Adam" I added closing the door.

His blue eyes sparkled. "Good night Tommy."

He drove away after one last glance and I watched until I lost sight of the sleek black sports car.

A familiar smell met me when I walked into the house, but it was faintly different. I left my stuff in its usual place by the foot of the stairs and went and check my mother's hiding places- where she kept her boos- only to come up empty handed. I stopped and considered the age of the house and the wet weather we had had lately. Surely the odor was due to the structures age and the recent rain. But something still seemed slightly off. It couldn't have been alcohol, I would have recognized that stink. I brushed it off, and made my way upstairs. I didn't want to dwell on it.

My mother was fast asleep in her bed, with the blankets curled up under her chin when I checked on her. On the small bed side table was a half empty bottle of water. It had to have been paranoia I was feeling down stairs. My mother could barely stand when she was wasted, let alone crawl into bed.

A heavy weight lifted from my shoulders, and I retreated to my own room not bothering to turn on any lights. I stripped from my jacket and t shirt and got into bed. I hadn't realized how tired I was until I was comfortable under the covers. Hopefully tomorrow would be better, but that was probably too much to hope for. Plus if I saw Todd again tomorrow I would probably punch him again. My thought drifted off again as my eyes fell shut and sleep consumed me, filling my mind with dreams instead of nightmares.

* * *

**A/N: okay so i'm sorry that it took me a little while to post this one...i got really busy...and sorta lazy im not gonna lie..lol i was gone all week end staying with my friends, just to let you know, tattooing your body at 2 am with ink pens is a bad idea...cuz it doesn't wanna come off. xDD any who...i love this chapter too! the next one gets interesting so be sure to stay tuned, i love all you guys soooo much... xD**

***random alert!* If you like musical and or slasher movies, watch _Repo! The Genetic Opera _i watched it three times this weekend its just that good and i had to tell you about it!**

****And like always i wanna thank my readers for their awesome feed back! you have no idea how much it means to me! xD Keep it up!**

*****lastly, if any one has a good idea for and Adommy one shot i can write, i'm looking for ideas! PM me subject: "one shot" **

**LOVE YOU GUYS! *heart***

**~Jackie**


	9. Broken Open

*****DISCLAIMER*****

**Me: **_(waiting on the guys to return, sitting with Jami and my friend Mer.)_ I only let you guys comet this time because you both contributed to the writing. So don't get used to it.

**Jami:** I've already met them once.

**Mer:** Don't remind me!

**Me:** _(rolls eyes)_

**Adam:** _(walks in)_ I hope you let your readers understand that I have never even thought about "offing" myself.

**Me:** _(bites lip)_ I'm sorry, the idea just went w/ the story.

**Adam:** _(smiles)_ I know, and it was good. I just wanted people to know I've never done that.

**Me:** Trust me. We Glamberts know you would never do anything like that.

**Tommy:** _(walks in and sees Jami and Mer; frowns)_ I thought you said it was getting too confused.

**Me:** _(shrugs)_ It was, but they helped me write this chapter.

**Adam:** _(confused)_ Why would you need help? You are already doing a great job.

**Me:** _(shrugs)_ I'm not good at writing this kind of stuff.

**Tommy:** _(looks at me suspiciously)_ What kind of stuff?

**Me:** _(giggles)_ Why don't you read and find out?

**Tommy:** I'm not going to regret this am I?

**Mer:** Maybe

**Jami:** Maybe not

**Adam:** I wanna know! _(smiles seductively)_

**Mer & Jami: **_(swoon)_

**Me:**_ (to the readers) _Enjoy this chapter you guys, and as a warning...the is a bit of a lemon...so don't say I didn't warn you!

* * *

~Chapter Nine~

Broken pieces, break into me

So imperfectly what you should be

Lay here, it's safe here, I'll let you be broken open

Hide here, confide here so we can be broken open

"Mr. Ratliff, do you realize this production is tomorrow!" Ms. O' Conner, the director, scolded me in front of the entire cast and crew in the auditorium.

"We can't afford absences, not this close to show time. . ."

Her scratchy voice continued to ramble, nagging over and over about the importance of punctuality- I zoned out the whole rant until it was nothing more than a slight buzzing noise in the background. I knew this morning when I woke up, that a lecture was inevitable, so I had prepared myself for the worst.

Practice hadn't even started yet, leaving everyone else bored shitless while she gave me the third degree. All the cast and the rest of the band were sitting on stage props or the stage itself, waiting for the endless tirade to cease. Every one of them seemed just as tired of Ms. O'Conner's birdlike voice as I was.

Adam was sitting on the edge of the stage, with his long legs dangling freely over it-just out of my reach. He seemed distracted, and he had been that way all day, but when my focus fell upon him he caught sight of me and smiled. By the time I realized I was gawking at him, it was too late, and I was already turning read at the cheeks.

". . .What could have been so important to make you miss practice!" The directors foot tapped impatiently on the thinly carpeted ground, waiting for my answer.

I doubted she even realized I hadn't been paying attention to her, because not once did she stop to make sure I was listening.

"Mr. Ratliff!" she ordered, demanding I speak.

With an annoyed sigh, I brought my undivided attention back to her. "I was in detention okay? I missed practice because kids in this school are jerks and need to get a life that doesn't make other students feel like shit! So I'm sorry I missed practice. . ." I looked up at the tall ceiling-as if to scream it to the world, "I'm sorry I stood up for my best friend and ended up breaking a kid's nose!" I then brought my line of sight down to meet Adam's crystal eyes, and my tone was softer when I spoke. ". . . And I'm sorry people don't understand and are complete ass holes."

One side of Adams lips pulled up into a slight smirk, but not a full smile; I returned the gesture. Ms. O'Conner's pale face turned a number of shades of red, and then blanched again as her expression returned to its natural permanent scowl.

"Mr. Ratliff, you'd better be glad I am in a good mood today, otherwise that mouth of yours would have just landed you another detention."

I rolled my eyes. If this was the way she acted when she was in a good mood, then I sure as hell didn't want to really piss her off. All along she had been in a good mood; she just had a shitty way of displaying it. Although it wouldn't surprise me if she was somehow hiding a pointed tail and a set of horns.

Once or lovely director decided she was done with me, practice began; therefore I placed myself next to Monte off to the side where the band was supposed to play. There were three rows of chairs, and I porously chosen to sit in the very back because I knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate on playing the right cords if Adam was three feet in front of me singing and dancing. We started with the opening number, and Adam took his place on stage, naturally adapted to being in the spot light.

I had seen Grease a grand total of once, and the musical really didn't have a lasting impression on me. Thankfully, for the sake of my eardrums, the drama department decided to modernize the songs a bit, while keeping the time set still in the 1950s. At first the idea seemed disastrous to everyone but me and Adam. But once Adam started singing as the lead role, Danny, it was hard to dislike the performance, so the idea stayed. Adams talent surpassed everyone as far as acting and singing ability, and like I said, it was going to hard as fuck to ignore him.

For just a little over an hour, my fingers graced over the thick strings of my red electric bass guitar while Adam sang- filling the auditorium with his angelic vocals. Practice though, flew by too quickly; mainly because half of it was spent on lecturing me, and soon we were both sitting in Adams mustang. The engine wasn't running and the radio was silent. We were both just sitting there- it was the most unusual moment to ever pass between the two of us, and I didn't particularly like it. The emotions in my head were screaming to break open and tell him how I felt, but this wasn't the right time. Something like that needed a little more. . . I wasn't sure.

Adam shifted beside me, biting his bottom lip. Something was definitely putting him on the edge, he only bit his lip when he was nervous or something was bugging him. He had never been this quiet. I was about to give up on him, when he finally broke the suffocating silence.

"I think it's going to rain again." He said looking blindly out the windshield.

Over head, big ominous gray clouds loomed, threatening to pour down upon us. I didn't understand all the rain. Usually the weather was decent in the fall here in Cali.

"Yeah." I agreed watching them glide across the sky with the wind.

We had resulted in talking about the weather. If there was any sign something wasn't right, it was starting a conversation about the fucking weather.

"Maybe we should get home before it starts." I suggested, feeling even more awkward the longer I sat beside him. Adam nodded, stared the car and drove out of the empty parking lot.

The ride wasn't much better. I had taken the liberty of turning on the radio when the odd feeling still lingered. The music didn't help. My mind paid no attention to the song on the sound system; instead I was lost in thought. The cogs and wheels in my head were trying to unravel what was wrong. Did I do something to upset him? I thought back to the day's events, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. After yesterday, I would have thought after pouring our hearts and souls out that our bond would be stronger. Maybe it wasn't me, maybe it was the fact that the fucking principal hadn't made any effort to remove the vandalism from his locker. That definitely would piss me off. Or it could be that opening night was tomorrow, I didn't even have a speaking part and I was freaking out. But something in my gut told me that wasn't the case.

Before long, my mind drifted off into nothing, and Adam pulled up to the curb. I grabbed my things from the back and looked at Adam.

"Are you okay?" I asked, concern lining my features.

He didn't say anything. He just smiled at me, meeting my eyes and nodded. I didn't know what to say, for once I couldn't read him. I didn't want to push him into telling me what was wrong, but at the same time I really wanted to know. Before I got out, I waited for the three little words he always asked, but they never came.

"See ya tomorrow." I said with a smile, hoping to bring one to his lips.

"See ya." His tone was sad.

I pushed the car door shut and he drove away, as a loud clap of thunder echoed in the sky-sending droplets of moisture to the ground. At first the rain fell softly in tiny drops, then gradually fell heavier as the drops grew. I realized as I was stand in the rain, he wasn't coming back until tomorrow, or maybe never. He didn't promise a ride in the morning like he always did, so why should I expect one? In the past I learned not to take things for granted, because every time I did, whatever it was ended up disappearing. So I never counted on a ride unless he gave me his word.

With a sigh, I trudged through the rain and into my house. Cold water dripped from my soaked hair onto the wooden floor. There was a dim glow from the living room which lead me to suspect that was where my mother was at. Again, my nose picked up a different sent that didn't quite fit the house.

The TV was on in the living room, which explained the bluish glow. My mother was laying on the couch, staring blankly at the screen. A canceled sitcom played out on the glowing television and I sat in the chair diagonal from where my mother was sitting, and she didn't seem to notice my presence.

"Mom?" I questioned somewhat concerned.

Her brown eyes lazily moved from the TV screen to me, looking tired and blood shot, then she smiled.

"Could you, you uh. . .bring me a water bottle please?" she asked, tripping over her words.

My forehead creased, something wasn't right. "Sure. . ."

I got up slowly, watching her, and then went into the kitchen to get her the water. When I walked into the kitchen, the odor got stronger, and even more so when I opened the refrigerator. I stood with the door open for a long time, letting the cold air out into the open. Looking closely at the plastic containers, I noticed the seals were already broken on all of them, but they were still completely full. After a while, the answer to it all struck me. I picked up one of the bottles, and slowly unscrewed the plastic cap. Cautiously, I sniffed the contented, and my nose immediately was met with a burning sensation that made my eyes water.

"No. . ." I whispered. I felt as if I was falling back into a deep hole. A tidal wave of hopelessness and defeat crushed into me like the ocean to a rock. I wanted to sink to the floor and cry.

She hadn't gotten any better, not at all. If anything, she found a way to be more secretive about her addiction. It was bad enough that she was drinking again, but this time she was lying to me. How could my own mother lie to me? My mother knew I wouldn't have recognized the scent of vodka; I wasn't used to that smell. Her favorite was Jack Daniels, it always had been, but I knew that odor all too well.

"No!" I screamed, throwing the open bottle onto the ground. Frustration began pumping through my system as my hopelessness turned to anger.

My mother heard my outburst and staggered into the room. "Whatareyou doing?" her words slurred together. She glanced down at me then to the mess at my feet.

"How could you?" I hissed glaring at her. She shook her head violently; sober enough to realize she had gotten caught.

"Don't you start this Ronny. You don't understand."

"Don't understand! What the fuck is there to understand! And for the last time, I'm Tommy! Your son! Your god damn son!" I screamed at her.

She closed her eyes and shook her head again. "Nono, now uh giveme mydrink." She reached out her hand.

"Hell no!" I spat.

When I denied her the poison, she came at me, knocking me to the ground. The impact with the floor forced all the air out of my lungs, and for a second I couldn't breathe with her weight on top of me. Pain rippled through my entire body when she dug her long fingers nails along the flesh of my check. I resisted the urge to shout as the sting from my tareing flesh brought tears to my eyes. I felt warm blood rush to the wound, and out onto the floor.

My mother was never going to get better, no matter what I did to help her, it was never going to end. I rolled her over, pressing her shoulders firmly to the vodka soaked floor. Blood dripped form my scars, and onto the floor, mixing with the alcohol. Like usual, she fought back with kicks and screams; trying bit at my fingers only to fail. It was amazing how much strength she had when she was in this state. I knew her rant would run out of energy soon, so I kept her pinned do the floor.

"What the hell do I have to do to get you back to being my mother?" I cried.

Salty tears were falling from my face, fueled by anger, frustration, pity; every emotion I was fluctuating expressed themselves through heavy tears.

"Why the fuck should I try to care for you when you can't even stay sober enough to make an effort yourself!" I added.

Suddenly her mood shifted and she began to cry uncontrollably, like I predicted. "I'll try, I'll try! I'm sorry, I'll try!"

She rolled her head back and forth in the puddle of alcohol, her dark hair seeping it up like a sponge. I glared down at her, only hearing lies pour out of her mouth.

"No you won't" I seethed. "You can't let him go, and it's killing you because you just can't do it. You drink to forget but it doesn't do shit."

"You just don't understand. . ." she sobbed again.

My blood boiled. "I understand perfectly! You loved him, you miss him. I get it! Did you ever once think what it did to me when I found him? It felt like ever vessel in my system burst and my heart could no longer pump. I couldn't breath, or think or even fucking move! I was the one who got his blood on my shoes, not you. I found him!" I paused. "But I got over it. I got clean. I took care of everything while you sat on your ass and drank yourself until you couldn't feel anymore!"

I could see the shock in her brown eyes when I stood up. "You know what? I'm done. I can't fucking take it anymore. If you want to stay here and drink yourself into oblivion, be my guest. But I won't be here to find you when you do."

With my sleeve I wiped the blood from my cheek and walked away. Behind me I could hear my mother's weak begs and empty promises; all wanting me to come back. But I couldn't. Without even a backward glance I left the house and walked out into the pouring rain.

~oOo~

I was running, running blindly through the down pour, not knowing where I was going. My feet splashed into every puddle, soaking my feet in cold, muddy water. The rain masked the tears falling from my eyes as I ran. I had wanted to run for so long, but now the only thing I wanted to do was curl up on the wet ground and waste away. My good deeds went unnoticed and all the bad ones never failed to punish me.

My tired legs finally stopped, and I just stood there, letting the rain drip off my features. Slowly I could feel the world slipping from my grasp again just as I thought it was getting better. They said nothing lasted forever, and my happiness sure as hell didn't, but could this hurt and torment go on for eternity? Somehow I believed it would.

Dark clouds loomed over head rumbling louder as the storm intensified. I wasn't about to stay on the street again, but I couldn't go back to that house. There were too many nightmares. After a while, my feet began moving again, only this time I knew where they were taking me. It was the first place I knew to go.

"Tommy?" Adam's brother answered the door with a confused look on his face.

"Hey." I said, suddenly glad that the rain was hiding my tear soaked face. Adam was the only one in his family that knew my family life was fucked up. We decided that it would be easier that way. I didn't want him mom and dad to bother my mom, even if she was drunk all the time. Mainly I didn't want his parents bothering me about it.

I did my best to act cool, which with the way I was feeling was not easy. "Is your bother home?" I asked putting my hands in my pockets. The wind was starting to blow harder, sending a chill through my body.

"Um. . .yeah."

Neil left the door open, sprinting up the stairs calling for his brother. It didn't take long for Adam to appear.

"Jesus Neil!" Adam shouted over his shoulder when he reached the door. "You could have let him inside!"

Adam opened the door wider, motioning me to come inside. For the first time, I didn't feel better when I seen him. Thinking back to how he acted earlier, I wasn't sure if I was really welcome.

"Sorry about him." Adam apologized.

When he looked at me, I knew he could see through the mask of rain. "What happened?" he asked, the frustrated tone in his voice fading.

There was a light on in the living room, and in case someone was there, I didn't want to say anything. "Could we go upstairs and talk about it?" I asked, my body beginning to shiver.

There was no hesitation as Adam nodded and lead me up the stairs to his room. There was only one light lit part of his room. I didn't know how many times I sat in the darkness of my room on days that were much like this one. His script lay open on his bed from where he had been reading until I interrupted.

Without me asking, Adam pulled a pair of sweat pants and a dry hoodie from his dresser and tossed them to me. "You must be freezing. You can change in the bathroom." he smiled softly.

Grateful, I took the dry clothes to the bathroom and peeled the soaking wet cloth off my body. The baggy fabric felt good against my cold skin. Wet strands of hair stuck to my face, which was extremely irritating. I took a towel off the rack and did my best to dry it quickly with a couple of rough rubs.

When I returned to his room, he was looking over his script. His perfect lips mouthed each word silently to himself, and I was staring for a brief moment.

"I'm sorry." I finally said, standing in the door way. "I didn't know where else to go. And I had to get out of there. . .I just. . ."

I was so tired of crying, and I didn't want Adam to see me like this, but I couldn't stop. Any other time I would have opened up and poured it all out to him, but with the way he acted this afternoon, I wasn't sure what to do.

"Tell me what happened." He murmured motioning to sit beside him. My knees were weak as I walked bare foot across the room and onto the pillowy mattress.

"Tell me." Adam coxed again.

When I sat I didn't look at him. I couldn't. "I didn't work. She hasn't gotten any better Adam. She didn't even try!" I felt more tears roll down my cheek, burning my new scars.

"What do you mean?" Adams brows pulled together.

I wiped the tears on my sleeve. "She as been seeking alcohol this whole time. She put vodka in the water bottles! I don't know how but she did! I should have seen it! If only I would have found out sooner! God this is all my fault!" my pitiful sobs turned into hysteric rants. "Why can't I help her!"

Adam moved close to me, draping his arm around my torso. "Shh. . ." he cooed.

I pressed my cheek to his chest, looping my arms around his body and let my tears stain his perfectly good shirt. For a long time neither one of us said anything while we were locked in the embrace, and things between us seemed less tense. To some, I figured the picture of us would look somewhat odd, but I didn't care. Never had I ever been so close to Adam, I didn't want to let him go. The rhythmical sound of his heart beat against my ear, and it's continuous sound calmed me. My tears had stopped, but the pain still lingered.

Adam never said a word, he just gently rocked back and forth like a mother would do with a child. The entire time my thoughts drifted away until I could no longer remember what I was so upset about. Adam was like a sponge, he soaked up every ounce of pain and sadness around me, and released nothing but good energy.

With a deep breath, I released myself from his grasp, feeling somewhat better. The ache was still there, but I did my best to ignore it.

"Better now?" Adam asked with smoldering eyes. I pulled the almost dry strands of hair out of my face and nodded.

"As good as I'm ever gonna get." I muttered.

He looked at me with those hypnotizing blue eyes I loved so very much, and he smiled lovingly at me. I had to tell him how I felt. I couldn't deny it anymore. If this was to be the last time we were to ever share together, then at least I had been in his arms once.

"Adam." I said, finally looking him spare in the eye, swallowing the lump in my throat. I wanted to explain myself, but I didn't have time to.

In a blur, Adam's soft lips came crashing down on mine Adams body tensed up in surprise, then relaxed, smiling under my lips. He parted the kiss short enough to give me a delighted smirk, and then met my lips again.

His careful hands caressed my face gently on both sides, avoiding the scratches. I felt myself tremble at his delicate touches that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. My heart was pounding in my chest, making my blood run cold before quickly turning to a boil. A tightness rose in my chest that I couldn't describe, but I welcomed it.

Adams lips tasted so amazing, it was enough to make my over beating heart stop. They were more appetizing then I could have ever imagined. He breathed heavily between our kiss, and I savored the sweet breath; letting it fill my body with pleasure. With his palm on my chest, Adam pushed me back onto the mattress, our lips never leaving the others.

He glided his tongue over my heated lips, sending my head soaring above the heavens from the euphoric feelings that tingled throughout my body. We turned on our sides laying next to each other. Adams right hand trailed down the side of my body and to my waist. Despite being completely consumed and concentrated on Adam, I was fully aware of the small space separating our bodies.

My lips parted with a quiet sounding desperate moan, and his tongue slid in between the small gap. As he explored the contours of my mouth, the knot in my stomach started to tighten. I was at his mercy. There wasn't a thing I could do that I could do and I did t care. Adam was in control. I needed more of him. God I needed him.

I moved myself closer to him, sealing the gap. My heart beat drummed in my ears, although the erratic sound could've belonged to Adam.

"Tommy. . ." Adam gasped softly as his face pulled away from mine. His intense stormy blue eyes stared into mine endlessly. There was a fierceness in them that was scary, but I likes it, probably too much.

My breathes came out in laborous pants, like I had just finished running a marathon, and my head was still spinning-my heart still racing from the sensual kiss. Why had I waited so long for this moment? Nothing else would ever make me feel like the way Adam made me feel. Every second his skin was in contact with mine, my deepest passions were awakened and set free.

"Don't stop." I murmured, staring into his smoldering blue eye.

"I won't." he assured me with soft kiss. "I could do this forever."

I smiled at his words, and his lips moved to the sensitive skin on his neck. His hand glided to the inner part of my thigh, and I felt myself twitch. He laid trail of sweet butterfly kisses along my neck and jaw line. I hummed in blissful ecstasy as his tongue kneaded my delicate flesh. Everything that he did sent chills running down my spine. I was his and he knew it from the way his soft lips smiled against my neck.

"Adam. . ." I moaned, breathing heavily.

"Yes?" Adam answered. I moaned again as his hand slid under my shirt.

"Yes?" He asked again with a smile, already knowing what I wanted.

"Please." I begged.

He kissed my cheek gently and moved his fingers to the drawstring of my pants, giving the thread a small tug.

"But you look so adorable in my sweats." He teased before sliding his hand under the thick fabric, and I felt them slip off.

My toes curled and my fists clenched, gathering handfuls of thick blankets. He sucked on my neck, pressing his tongue against my skin to add to the pressure. My eyes rolled into the back of my head, and my fingers moved to his shirt and griped it tight.

"Aww Fuucck!" I groaned.

My back arched pressing my trembling body closer to his. My fingers moved from the thin cloth of his shirt to his thick brown hair. With every wave of arousal that came at me, I pulled and tugged until my fingers were tangled in it.

Breathing heavily, my shaking fingers pulled from his hair and to the small silver button on his jeans. My hand slipped from the button and I scowled making Adam laugh. He moved his lips to my earlobe, and his teeth slightly grazed the small piece of skin. I fought with the button a while longer, anxious to get his pants undone, but it was near impossible to concentrate with Adams lips on me. Finally, my frustration ripped the small piece from the hole, and I pulled the zipper down slowly.

Adam kissed my shoulder, before bringing his lips back to my ear.

"You don't have to do this." he whispered. His soft warm lips brushed against my skin and he spoke.

I shook my head. "I want to." I murmured.

With shaking hands, I slid him out of his pants.

"it's okay Tommy." Adam said.

I swallowed the build up in my throat and didn't hesitate after that. Adams own hands pulled at the zipper of my jacket, and worked it off of me. He ran his hands over my naked chest and my stomach rippled at his touch. My heart pumped erratically, causing my blood to run hot again. Adams breaths came out heavily as he snakes his tongue between my lips and into my mouth releasing a deep moan. He moved against my body as I touched him, moaning and groaning in pleasure. Adams hands left goosebumps on my chest despite how warm and welcoming his fingers were. With his body close to mine, I could tell he was getting closer to his climax from the rapid rate at which his heart was beating.

Wanting to explore more of him before he peeked, my free hand tugged at the him of his shirt, fighting vigorously to remove it. Why was I having so much trouble taking his clothes off? What ever the reason, it was beginning to piss me off. With a little help I was able to rare it off of his torso, revealing his bare chest. Adam tangled his fingers in my hair, and his back arched as he finally reached his climax.

"Toommmyy!" he groaned, his eyes fluttering close and his body going limp. Hearing my name flow from his mouth the way it did sent a haunting chill down my spine.

Adams body rolled off of mine, onto his back beside me, his sweat covered chest moving up and down rapidly. My eyes wondered over his naked body, stopping at his frozen lips. Adam's eyes were closed, his head resting on a pillow with his mouth wide open. I didn't want to stop- he tasted sweeter than I thought possible. He was more addicting than any drug I had ever poisoned myself with.

When Adam calmed down, I greedily positioned myself ontop of him, longing for more of him. There was no resistance when I touched my lips back to his, our bodies trembling with arousal as we made contact. I sucked on his bottom lip and my hands yanked his brown hair again. Slowly I felt Adams hands move down my body.

"Oh. . ." I moaned.

I wanted to be in control this time. I wanted to hear him say my name again; in a sound more invigorating than when he sang.

I clenched my fingers around his wrists, not once allowing our lips to part, and I pushed his hands over his head. Adam smiled as I moved my lips to the side of his neck and lightly brushing my fingers down his arms.

"You're amazing." Adam sighed, placing his hands on my back. I smiled back at him, taking his lips to mine. They danced together in a more delicate, tender way this time-less lust driven.

Suddenly I was tired. In the last few hours so much had happen, and not all of it was bad after all. I couldn't help but smile at how happy I felt.

Sensing the shift in my body language, Adams lips slowly pulled away from mine, and his eyes stared up at me, glistening. He smiled knowingly, and I rolled onto my back beside him. A stillness hovered in the air, creating a silence that I would never forget. Laying side by side, heads on fluffy pillows, we looked at each other, not having to say a single thing. We both knew we could no longer hide what we felt for each other. I loved Adam more than I probably should, in ways that society would say I shouldn't, but I didn't give a fuck what everyone else thought. This right here was the epitome of my happiness. I was only happy when I was with Adam even when my mother was well. Adam made all the nightmares go away, he made me forget how putrid and vile my life was.

"Thank you." I whispered, practically inaudible through the pouring rain. I realized after I said it, that the timing could have been better.

A quirky smile lit Adams face a little confused.

"You're welcome?" his chuckled response came out like a question.

"I guess that sounded kinda bad didn't it?" I laughed. "What I meant was thank you for not giving up on me."

The smile on Adams face became loving and he turned on his side, scooting closer to me.

"I would never give up on you." he told me. "You have got to be the strongest person I have ever met. I knew you would come around."

His hand moved the tangled blond away from my face as he spoke, leaving more goosebumps on my skin. My eyelids grew heavy as I laid next to him, completely content, until Adams lullaby-ish hums finally put me to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so im sorry this one took a bit to get up, but i was having a problem typing it so it didn't sound awkward, hopefully it is okay. lol any who...not very many chapters left! about three or four! Don't forget to review and let me know what you thought! xD**

** *Thanks for all the reviews! you guys are all so amazing! love ya! **

** ~Jackie! **


	10. Feeling Good

*****DISCLAIMER*****

**Me: **_(to readers) _Okay you guys, I know you enjoyed that chapter from all of the reviews, I know I liked it.

**Tommy: **_(walks in with his arms folded scawling)_

**Adam: **_(walks in smiling ear to ear.)_

**Me: **_(Laughs at both of thier expressions.) _So you guys read it?

**Adam: **_(nodds) _Yep, and guess what Tommy thought about it.

**Me: **_(hesitant, not sure what to expect.) _What?

**Tommy: **Don't tell her!

**Adam: **_(smiles) _He thought it was. . .

**Tommy: **DON'T!

**Adam: **Hot. . .

**Me: **_(jaw drops) _Really?

**Tommy: **_(still scowling) _. . . yeah well, don't read to far into it.

**Adam: **_(draps arm over Tommys shoulder, Tommy cringes.) _Don't lie Thomas. You know ya want me.

**Tommy: **_(sarcasticaly) _Oh all the fucking time.

**Me: **_(laughs) _Now seriously, what did you think Tommy?

**Tommy: **_(sighs)_ I won't lie, it was. . .hot. . .

**Adam: **_(to Tommy)_ At least it wasn't quite as graphic as some other stories.

**Tommy: **_(eyes grow wide and raises an eyebrow.) _You've read more. . .about us?

**Adam: **_(looks the other direction)_. . .Maybe. . .

**Tommy: **_(confused) _I don't know whether I should be creeped out or surprised. . .

**Me: **_(giggles)_ Oh I love you two. _(sigh) _I wish I did own you. _(to readers) _But I don't. Read any way, this chapter is full of fluffy cuteness. ENJOY!

* * *

**~CHAPTER TEN~**

"It's a new dawn

It's a new day

It's a new life

For me

And I'm feeling good."

My eyes flew open when a high pitched beeping filled my ears, and woke me from my blissful dream. Adam's room was still cased in darkness, apart from the gloomy glow from the digital alarm clock on his desk. With tired eye I glared at the red numbers across the room.

Beside me, Adam shuffled, stretching his long arms over his head with a yawn. He slowly brought himself to a sitting position, letting the thin sheet fall from his bare chest and into his lap. He sat there for a second with a slender, pleased smile on his face, before pulling on his jean and walking over to shut off the alarm. I knew I was going to have to hurry up and get my ass out of his house before his family woke up and caught the two of us.

Lazily, I pushed myself up and searched the floor and the bed for the pair of sweat pants Adam lent me, and then pulled them on as soon as I caught sight of them. The air in the room was somewhat chilly, and it made me shiver slightly. As Adam moved around swiftly in the dark, trying to turn on the light, I stayed frozen to the bed; suddenly too cold to move. Then Adam flicked on the switch.

"Ahh. . ." I groaned.

The sudden change from dark to light hurt my eyes, and I shut them immediately.

"Sorry." Adam whispered.

I got up from the bed and gathered my clothes from yesterday, which were now dry. Before I could pull my t-shirt over my head, Adams cold finger tips stopped me.

"If you want to shower, you know where the bathroom is."

I looked at him for a second to process what he had said.

"What about your parents? Shouldn't I leave?"

Adam laughed seeing the concern on my face.

"Nah. They don't know what happened."

I felt my cheeks flush pink, remembering last night. He smirked at my blush and I laughed nervously.

Cautiously, I cracked his bed room door open, peering into the dark hall, then tip toed silently to the bathroom. The reflection that met me when I looked in the mirror made me smile, despite how hideous I looked. For once I had woken up in a good mood, and I wasn't about to let my appearance ruin it. My hair was going to be a complete bitch this morning, but I didn't even care. Adam was right though, I needed a shower in the worst way. Rain and sweat left a filthy coat of grime on my skin that wasn't very attractive.

I turned the stainless steel knob in the shower to hot water- probably hotter than needed, and took time to study my face in the mirror as the water heated up. Along my right cheek were four long red marks, parts of which were scabbed over where my mother's sharp nails broke skin. In a few days most of the scaring wouldn't be visible and it will be as if the entire event never even occurred.

When the water was hot, I stripped out of Adam's baggy pants and stepped into the steady flow of steaming hot water. Almost instantly my muscles relaxed and relieved all the soreness and tension the past year or so had thrown at me. I couldn't even remember the last time I took a hot shower ever since the water heater blew up and I couldn't pay to fix it.

I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, drowning myself in the soothing rain like droplets as they massaged the tight parts of my body. After a long while of standing under the hot water, I washed my hair and body, taking longer than needed. The water was so calming, but I couldn't stay in the shower forever.

A thick film of moisture covered the once spotless mirror, and heavy clouds of steam lingered in the air. I felt ten times better once the rain and sweat was washed away; my hair looked better too.

I dried myself off, rubbing my head with the fluffy towel in order to remove the drip, than dressed myself. The seamy temperature in the bathroom felt good, and I wanted to stay locked inside- dreading the cold air of Adam's room. I didn't have a choice though. With a sigh, I opened the door, already cold from the chill the hallway brought, and made my way back to his room. Before I got there, I ran into something, or someone. . .

I stumbled backward, but caught my footing before I fell. Adam's younger brother squinted in the dark, confused as to who he ran into.

"Tommy?" he whispered.

"Shh!" I pressed my fingers to my lip, and swiftly maneuvered around him before he could question me any further.

Adam was still wearing only his dark blue jeans when I found him in the room laying across his bed. My heart started pounding from the shear sight of him, and how completely breathtaking he was. His brown hair was messy, sticking every which way and the same pleased smile colored his pink lips.

Secretly I was jealous. Adam could make anything look hot by simply incorporating it to his person. I was never able to make 'bed head' look the way he did. God it was hot on him.

Adam smirked when he realized I was gawking at his perfection.

"Hey. . ." he said seductively raising an eyebrow. Just the slight gesture almost sent me into cardiac arrest. My heart was jumping hurtles for him. He was so fucking good.

"Hey." I answered back meekly as I tried to control my sudden rush of desire.

Adam removed himself from the bed and placed himself in front of me with a devious smile on his lips. He gently trailed his smooth fingertips along my cheek and to the bottom of my chin. With every breath his face came closer to mine, his warmth rippling through me.

Our foreheads were the first to meet, as we gazed endlessly into each other's eyes, and then slowly he pulled my mouth to his. My body went limp and I was immediately whisked off into a high of pure ecstasy. His hands caressed my face and I pressed myself to his bare chest. A soft, quiet moan escaped my busy lips and Adam pulled away.

"Mmm. . ." he chuckled. "Good morning."

"Morning. . ." I stole kisses as we both spoke, not fully satisfied. Adam complied, and willingly returned each one, soft and sweet on most; but playful and more aggressive on others. My hands worked their way to his naked flesh of his chest and then to his dark locks. Adam took a few steps back, until he was laying on his bed with me hovering over him. His skilled tongue entered my mouth for a short time, and then his lips left mine. He locked his beautiful blue eyes on my own.

"Help yourself to whatever's in the kitchen." He said brushing some damp hair behind my ear. "I'll be there before you know it."

"Okay. . ." I said breathlessly.

The lower part of Adams house was dark, indicating that his family wasn't up yet. There were dim trickles of light seeping through the curtain covered windows; illuminating the house just enough to see.

Surprisingly, I really wasn't hungry, even thought the last meal I had eaten was lunch yesterday. After a quick glance through the cabinets, I decided on something simple; knowing I would regret not eating something now, later. I removed an almost empty box of Cheerios from the top shelf and poured what was left into a bowl of milk. I placed myself at one of the four chairs in the kitchen table and took a bite.

"Oh. . .Tommy." Leila said walking into the kitchen. "I didn't know you were staying over."

I hadn't even heard her come down the stairs. The shocked expression on her face faded quickly in to the smile that matched Adams. I waited to see if it would change into something else, but it didn't. Adam was right; his mom was completely oblivious to what went on last night. Or if she did know, she was damn good at hiding it.

Leila made herself breakfast, and I stirred my spoon in my cereal. Neil was the next one to come down, and as soon as his eyes landed on me, a strange look flooded his face. For some reason he knew, the look on his face only confirmed it. His dark eyes moved back and forth between his seemingly unknowing mother and me. I shook my head slowly, giving him a fierce glare. If he ratted us out, Adam would be short one sibling. The atmosphere was quickly growing uncomfortable, until Adam bounded blissfully into the room. It took everything in me not to jump up and stand by him.

"Good morning!" he said cheerfully, kissing the top of his mothers head and ruffling his brother's hair.

"Adam, why didn't you tell me that Tommy was staying over? I would have left out extra sheets and pillows." She gave Adam a look- which was neither threatening nor suspicious, and then he shrugged.

"I didn't know he was coming. He got locked out of his house again."

That was our excuse incase I had to come over without invitation. And so far it had worked like a charm.

Leila laughed. "Oh honey, why don't you just go get yourself a key made?"

I shrugged, keeping my eyes on my untouched bowl of cereal. "I keep forgetting."

She laughed again softly, and sipped her coffee. "I hope you slept well."

"I'm sure he did." Neil mumbled under his breath. Both Adam and I shot him a wicked glare, and luckily Leila didn't hear a thing.

Breakfast continued; Neil staring at Adam and I, while I tried my best to ignore it.

"Am I giving you a ride this morning?" Adam asked his brother.

Neil didn't usually ride with us in the morning to school. Instead he rode with one of his friends; I hoped today would be any different.

"Nope." He answered, popping the P sound.

Adam stood, placing his empty bowl in the sink, and then looked at the clock.

"You ready to go?" He asked.

I nodded. "Yep."

I dumped my wasted Cheerios down the drain and sat my bowl with his in the sink. His mom said good bye; giving us both warm hugs, and then we left.

~oOo~

The bright sun was in the middle of the vast blue sky, shinning down upon us. The weather was the complete opposite of yesterday's storm. There was not a single grey cloud in the sky, just light feathery ones.

Today it was just the two of us at lunch, and I was glad. We would break the news to Monte sometime, but right now I was living in the moment, which was big for me because most moments I didn't want to live.

We decided, instead of going to your usual café, to hit up the closest burger joint's drive up. The schools cafeteria was too crowded, and the little place we had recently become regulars at wasn't privet enough. So we sat in the back seat of his mustang and ate our lunch. After last night all I wanted to do was be alone with him again, and this was perfect.

We ate in silence, but completely comfortable. There was nothing more that needed to be said because we already knew. The soft audio of the car radio was the only sound that added to the ambiance.

"Are you worried about your mom?" Adam asked suddenly, taking a bite of his burger.

I didn't answer right away. "I haven't really thought about her much since last night." I admitted.

Adam nodded.

"Honestly, I don't care anymore." I told him. "It's just too much for me to handle. I've tried and failed so many times." I paused, ignoring the wave of self pity that washed over me, and I met Adam's glossy eyes. "Besides, I have you, and Monte of course, but mainly you.

Adam smiled weakly. "You're just going to give up?"

My forehead creased, thinking. As much as I wanted to give up and forget her, I knew I couldn't. That was the entire problem with me. I couldn't stop helping her. Finally I shook my head.

"No." I sighed, defeated. "I can't do that to her, not after my father-" I trailed off and the car grew quiet. Suddenly I wasn't hungry anymore, and I sat my container of fries in the middle seat between us.

"I wish life was simple." I whispered. Adams deep gaze was upon me, I could feel it as I looked out the windshield.

"And people stayed out of everyone's business so people could just be who they wanted to be." I added.

Adam moved our lunch from the seat, and placed himself next to me. As soon as I felt his warmth near me, I relaxed a little.

"Life's struggles only make us stronger." Adam said resting his head on my shoulder, tangling his fingers with mine.

"Only if we survive them." I muttered.

"You and I have." He pointed out.

I paused. "Sure, but-"

Adam pressed his finger to my lips, and moved so his blue eyes were transfixed to mine.

"Tommy Joe Ratliff. I do not want to hear this kind of talk from you this moment."

I wasn't used to hear my full name. "What do you want me to do?" I asked.

Adam smiled. "Kiss me."

As he spoke, he moved closer to me, giving me no time to refuse if I wanted to. Delicately, Adams plump lips caressed mine in their warmth and made my skin tingle. My hands touched to soft skin on his face as I straddled his lap. This time I slipped my tongue inside his mouth. He tugged me closer to his chest, and his hand slid under my shirt causing my blood to run cold. I moaned into his gaping mouth and he pulled away griming delightfully.

"Lunch is almost over." He smiled, kissing the tip of my nose.

My lips lingered over his. "Let's ditch." I suggested, wanting more of him.

Adam chuckled. "We can't do that. There is practice after school remember?"

I slouched. "Oh yeah. . .I don't have my guitar."

I was in such a horrendous state yesterday, that I didn't even think about grabbing my guitar when I left. Nothing in life seemed to be worth living yesterday. Except for Adam of course, he would always be my reason to keep going.

"I'm sure the school has one you can borrow." Adam assured me. "Now seriously, we need to get back to school. Otherwise we are in deep shit."

I sighed. "Okay."

He put to fingers under my chin and kissed me once more softly. We both gathered our trash, which consisted of non-eaten food, then walked over to the large dumpster in the parking lot. From his jacket pocket he took out the set of keys Ms. Baker gave him and let us back into the building.

~oOo~

By the time practice started, Adam managed to get his hands on a bass guitar. I wasn't sure how, or by what means, but I wasn't gonna ask questions. It could have been better tuned, but again, I didn't have the right to complain. He had already saved me in so many ways, I would be making it up the rest of my life.

For two hours I played along side Monte, while the actors danced and sang in poodle skirts and leather jackets. I realized it was hard to ignore the fact that Adam looked drop dead gorgeous in tight blue jeans and a black leather jacket with "T-Birds" stitched into the back. By show time, I was going to have to find something else to focus on.

"I think that is about as good as it's gonna get." Ms. O'Connor huffed, looking down at the watch around her boney wrist. "And thank you Mr.. Ratliff for gracing us with your presence this time."

I smiled at her as I put the guitar back into it's beaten case, she ignored me, then I glared at her. My hatred for that loathsome woman was increasing by the minuet.

Everyone bounded off stage, some going back stage to change out of their costumes while others gathered their book bags and left.

"Show starts at eight o'clock sharp! I want you hear no later than seven!" she announced loud enough for everyone to hear. I followed Adam back stage the the dressing room, so he could change out of his Greaser out fit.

"So am I taking you back to my house or. . ." He asked leaving the question open to other options.

His invitation was tempting, but my wondering mind kept going back to my poor mother on the liquor soaked floor. I couldn't give up on her, not when I was the only thing she had left.

As Adam pulled on his shirt from earlier, I sighed.

"No, she needs me. At the very least I have to make sure she's not dead." I paused, feeling Adams gaze upon me once again as we walked out of the building. Neither of us said anything until we were standing next to his car.

"Does that make me a fool?" I asked; my hand hovering over the door handle.

"What?" Adam asked getting in. I followed suite.

"Wanting to help someone who is beyond any help." I explained.

A smooth, angelic smile stretched across his lips and his for head moved slowly back and forth.

"No, I don't think you're a fool."

I met his eyes; they were clear and liquid, no form of lie or facade clouded them. He truly believed I wasn't a fool.

"You love your mother." he said. "That's why you get so upset when she does the things she does."

I just looked at him.

"Everything she does to unintentionally harm herself makes you mad because you can't stand the thought of loosing her. I would do the same thing if it came to my family." he said.

I couldn't help but smile at his words. He was amazing. Without even knowing it, he made me feel a million times better about myself. But he was also right, I couldn't loose her.

During the ride back to my house, he let one of his hands fall from the steering wheel and to the console that separated us. As soon as my eyes fell upon it, I didn't hesitate to intertwine my fingers with his. Adam smiled and brought the back of my hand to his lips and kissed it, before returning it to where it was a second ago. I was falling in love with him. Whether he knew it or not, I was, and I doubted my ability to live without him.

When we reached my street, Adam parked behind a white 91 Ford, that I hadn't seen in a long time.

"Who's at your house?" He asked arching a brow.

"No one." I said. "That is our car. The repair shop must have dropped it off."

"Oh." Adam shrugged. "That's convenient."

"Yeah."

I thought back to when I first was without that stupid car, and how much I hated having to walk to and from school. I loved that car because it was an escape from life reality on those days that were less the bearable. But now my escape was Adam, so why did I need the car anymore?

I glared at the vehicle, arms folded eyes narrowed. Adam laughed beside me, seeing my expression.

"I can still pick you up if you want me to, ya know."

I brought my eyes back to him with a nervous smile stretching across my lips. Was it that obvious?

"Good." I said.

He chuckled again, his carefree laugh made me smile, and the turned off the the car. Adams laugh died down and he looked at me.

"I'll pick you up around six o'clock for the show." he said. "And don't forget your guitar."

"Yeah, okay." I smirked.

As I turned to get out of the car, Adams warm hand caught mine and stopped me.

"Don't go just yet." Adam murmured, pulling him close to me.

"Okay." I breathed as his lips encompassed mine.

There wasn't much room in the front seat of the car, but somehow Adam managed to lay himself down across the front seat. I loomed over him, his playful, lusting kisses filling me with satisfaction. When he broke the kiss he still kept his lips close enough to my own that they tickled mine when he spoke.

"I'll see you soon." he murmured, grabbing a sweet peck from my lips.

"It won't be soon enough." I whispered kissing him this time.

Adam grinned. "Then I'll hurry."

We kissed again, each one fed my never ending addiction. I got out of the car with a smile on my face; one that only Adam could have created.

As he drove away, he waved, and I watched like always, until he was out of sight. Despite the fact that I knew I had one hell of a mess to pick up when I got into the house, I was in a good mood. I also knew Adam was mine, and nothing would ever change that.

* * *

**A/N: So you will be glad to know that I've desiced to cut the last chapter into two parts, so that means you have AT LEAST two more chapters after this one :) be happy that it is lasting longer, and im only doing it because i love you guys so very much! Any way, let me know what you thought, LONG reviews are my favorite, even if they ramble cuz they make me smile ;) _xxGlambert2010xx_ left me an awesome long review so i expect deatailed ones ;).**

****Thank you for EVERY ONE who is reviewing, long or short i love them all, the long ones just make me smile! **

**~Jackie**


	11. Broken

*****DISCLAIMER*****

**Me: **It's almost over!

**Adam and Tommy: **_(come in holding hands)_

**Me: **_(flailing at the yummy cute sight.)_

**Adam: **Did you you were almost done?

**Tommy: **That sucks. . .I was hoping for me.

**Me: **Wait I thought you didn't like it.

**Tommy: **_(shruggs) _Nah, I was jsut being stubborn.

**Adam: **_(smiles and kisses Tommys cheek)_

**Me: **_(almost faints) _. . .So are you two?

**Adam: **No.

**Me: **_(confused) _then why?

**Tommy: **What he means is, your story has inspired me to expariment. . .

**Me: **_(confused but excited)_ Exparament? Ooo yay. . .really?

**Adam: **For now anyway. . ._(looks at me) _Is this really almost the end?

**Me: **Yeah, but I think Im gonna write an epilouge and a pre-qual.

**Adam: **_(raises an eyebrow)_ A what-qual?

**Tommy: **_(being the movie junkie that he his; smiles)_ A pre-qual! It means the story takes place before the current one. Movies do it all the time!

**Me: **Exactaly!

**Adam: **Oh. . .thats cool. . .now lets read, I wanna know what happens!

**Tommy: **Me too!

**Me: **_(Laughs) _Okay. . ._(to readers)_ here ya go guys one of the last few chapters left, and as I've said before, I don't own them! Enjoy!

* * *

~CHAPTER ELEVEN~

"I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing

With a broken heart that's still beating

"In the pain there is healing, In your name I find meaning

So I'm holding on, I'm holding on, I'm holding on,

I'm barely holding on to you."

~Adam's Point of View~

A sudden annoying ringing sound broke my concentration as I attempted to read my lines one more time.

"Can somebody get that!" I hollered, after the third ring.

I waited for the ear piercing sound to cease, and when it did, I returned to studying.

"It's for you!" I heard my mother call back from the bottom of the stairs.

I sighed, and sat my tattered paper script on the bed beside me; and picked up the phone located on my desk. Very rarely did I ever get calls; and the times that I did get them they were from people I didn't want to talk to.

"Hello." I said, slightly annoyed.

I didn't have the time to talk on the phone. My hair still needed to be died and there where a few lines I still wasn't sure about.

"Adam?"

My mood shifted instantly. "Tommy?"

My heart began to race at the sound of his voice. I didn't like the tone he was using. It was too much like the one he used when he was standing in the rain on my front step.

"What's up?" I asked knowing Tommy never called unless absolutely necessary. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah." He huffed. He was upset, probably at his mother.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

There was a pause, then he let out a heavy breath.

"Yeah. Look, my mom wants to take me to the show since the car is back. . ." His voice trailed off.

"Is she okay?" He knew what I was poking at.

"She says she is. I'll just see you at the show okay." he sounded annoyed.

"Okay." I said.

The other end of the phone clicked, letting the dial tone echo in my ear. I sat the phone on my desk and stared at it for a while. He sounded anything but himself. I couldn't even fathom what he must have told his mother when he got home. Especially after all that she had put him through. I didn't understand people like Tommy's mother, not entirely anyway.

Slowly I made my way back to where I was sitting before. I ran through my lines a couple more times before making my way to the bathroom with a box of black hair dye. When that was finished I left at the very last minuet and headed to the school.

The interior of the car felt empty without Tommy sitting next to me. Even if we never said anything to each other during a drive, at least I knew he was there. In the weeks past it was like he had become part of that seat, and wasn't there I missed him.

I drove fast, probably faster then I should have, knowing that if I was even thirty seconds late, Ms. O'Conner would have a conniption fit. I smiled to myself, visualizing Tommy getting scolded with the 'I don't give a shit' look on his face. It was the smallest, most unimportant things that where my favorite about him. I could honestly care less about all stuff he thought I couldn't take. That was who he was, and I accepted it. There wasn't a single thing I would change, because he wouldn't be Tommy otherwise.

When I pulled into the parking lot, I found the closest parking spot, and went inside the back doors of the auditorium.

~oOo~

"Ten minuets till show time people!" Ms. O'Conner barked above all the commotion backstage.

The final moments before the curtain was raised were the most hectic by far. Actors and stage personnel rushed around the area; placing props, fixing costumes and dropping equipment. People were nervous, excited, queasy, some even cried. It was mass hysteria, but I loved every crazy moment of it.

Once I was satisfied with my freshly died hair, and what little makeup I needed to get the proper greaser look, I smiled at my reflection in the mirror. Tommy was right. Black hair looked better then brown. Never again would I be a ginger. The only thing I was missing now was my leather jacket. I strutted over to the rack of costumes, which was pretty picked over, and found mine. I slid my arms into the heavy fabric, glancing at my reflection in the full length mirror and smiled agian. When I turned around, I found a very disgruntled Monte walking towards me.

"Hey!" I said happily, running on a pre-production high.

"Have you seen Tommy?" he asked, looking over my shoulder to the chaos behind me. I had been so preoccupied with making myself up, I had forgotten to check for him.

My brows furrowed. "No, he said his mom was gonna bring him."

Monte fell silent. "Then they're running late, cause I haven't seen him yet." He finally said.

"He'll be here." I said finally. Mostly to assure myself.

Monte nodded and met my eyes. "Hey, good luck man." He said lightly patting my shoulder.

"Thank you." I said. "You too."

Monte smirked and went back to the band room with the other musicians. As the smile melted on my face, so did the rush of excitement. My mind was jumbled and the only thing I could think was wondering where Tommy was. My heart started to pound at the thought of him not being here. But I was going to have to focus. The sooner the play was over, the sooner I could find Tommy.

"Five minuets!" I heard the director scream; sending everyone into a violent frenzy around me.

I stood in the center of it all, trapped in a daze until someone ran into me and brought reality back to me. Our places were called, and with a few deep breaths, I hurried to fill mine. Somewhere off stage, Ms. O'Conner counted down the seconds, then the curtain lifted and I stepped into the blinding lights.

Thunderous applause fanned out over the packed auditorium, laced with shrill whistles and obnoxious hoots and hollers. It was actually the only time I had ever seen Ms. O'Conner smile. All the cast took one another's hands, and walked to the very edge of the stage to take the final bows. Seeing smiling faces and hearing the excitement of the crowd was my favorite part of performing.

When the routy crowd died down and we all were hidden behind the dark heavy curtain, I took no time little time to change back into my street clothes. After that, I made a bee line to the band room. I got stopped a few times by students and teachers, congratulating me on my performance, and I thanked them humbly.

The band room was in much the same condition as the stage. Kids were trying to put their instruments away, while parents with smiling faces greeted them with hugs and kisses. I scanned over all the faces, and before long I realized that I only recognized one face and it belonged to Monte. His eyes landed on mine and he shook his head with a shrug. Already knowing what I was going to ask. I spun around and grabbed my car keys from my pocket. Unfortunately for me, my parents found me before I could even get out of the room.

"Oh Adam!" my mother said cheerfully. "You were amazing." she kissed both of my cheeks and handed a bouquet of colorful flowers.

"Thanks mom." I said hastily.

"Ya did good son." My father said placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Thanks."

Mom proceeded to stand and tell me all her favorite parts of the play, while I nervously swayed back and forth. I had to get out of the school before I busted. Without saying a word I left, ignoring my families confused shouts behind me.

I was probably over reacting, but I couldn't quite scratch the feeling that something was horribly wrong. There was a vast number of reasons why he wouldn't have shown up. As I continued down the road, I started to calm down a little bit as my mind filed through all the other things that could account for his absence. His car more then likely broke down, or his mother had another one of her fits.

Gradually, traffic started to slow to a point that was close to stopping. Traffic back in Indiana was bad, but not near as bad as L.A. Small droplets of water started to decorated my clean windshield as the weather turned misty. I didn't know it rained so much in California, but I guessed the rain was better the snow I was used to this time of year. The street lights over head illuminated the dash of my car, casting tiny spotted shadows upon the smooth surface. I tried to count the little dots to distract my thoughts, but it wasn't working. My mind kept going back to Tommy.

As I sat there, not really listening to the Guns and Roses song on the radio, I noticed all the people out of their vehicles walking down the street. I didn't like the look on their faces. They were full of concern and bewilderment. Curiosity pulled me out of my daze. Swiftly, I grabbed my jacket from the back seat and got out into the misty rain. Through the heavy moisture looming in the air, I could see the reflection of flashing lights bouncing off of the damp cars.

My feet carried me across the wet pavement, splashing into puddles, soaking my pant legs as I hurried to see what the commotion was about. Whispers of a two car collision echoed around me and my heart started pounding. A head there was a group of people huddled against road blocks trying to push forward. The police officer restraining them shouted at them and told them to back up, which caused the large mass of bodies to pin me against the hood of another car. I quickly climbed on the hood, attempting not to scratch the red paint, but also made sure I could see around the huddled people.

It was bad.

My eyes saw before my body had time to react. A white Ford had swerved off the side of the road and crunched into a street light. But that wasn't the worst part. An SUV sandwiched the small Ford, causing the light pole to fall onto the passenger side of the car. The windshield was broken in and shards of glass was strewn out onto the asphalt.

My knees shook and I stumbled down from the car and shoved my way to the officer who was still shouting.

"Sir, I can't let you up any further." he said sounding angry.

My yes kept glancing at the white car. I had seen it before, but I couldn't place it.

"Sir-" the police officer pushed me back a second time.

"What happened!" I asked frantically.

The tall police officer glanced over his shoulder at the horrific scene behind him, then sighed. Obviously this wasn't' the first time he had explained it.

"The driver of the Ford was intoxicated, lost control of the vehicle and hit the pole. We are still trying to determine why the SUV hit the white car..." His voice trailed off.

All the man had to say was intoxicated driver for my entire world to stop. All of a sudden I remembered the car.

"How many passengers were in the white car!" I asked.

I hoped and prayed that the answer he gave me was different then the one I was thinking. That was Tommy's car. There was no denying it.

"Two." he told me. "The woman was driving."

"What about the other!" my voice was teetering on the edge of insanity.

". . .The boy was rushed to the hospital right away."

"What did he look like?"

The officer thought a moment, "He was about your age with blond hair; wearing a black and grey striped jacket. . ."

I was running back to my car before the officer could give me the full description. But I didn't need it, because I knew exactly what the boy looked like. He was petite, but strong, and beautiful. He had warm chocolate brown eyes, that could tell story after story about his hard life. I knew that boy all too well, but I feared that that description would soon prove no longer correct. Rushed to the hospital? I didn't even want to think about what that entailed. My head was becoming dizzy and I felt nauseated by the time I reached my car.

There wasn't much room for me to get the car out of the traffic jam, but I didn't care. I had to get to that fucking hospital by any means necessary. I drove the car on the side of the road, hoping there was a street a head I could turn onto. My sanity was dwindling by the second. I was certain every move I was making, every stop sign and red light I sped through was illegal. But right now, that was the last thing on my mind.

The rear end of my mustangs fish tailed as I turned quickly into the parking lot of the hospital. I parked in the first open space I saw and rushed inside. Instantly, memories of the weeks I spent in the hospital flooded back into my brain. No matter where I was, hospitals always sent those wretched memories back into my mind. They brought back all the pain and hurt I felt over a year ago.

The woman sitting behind the reception desk was busy filling papers when I reached her.

"Excuse me." I breathed almost silently, hoping to get her attention.

She looked up from her work and smiled at me.

"Can I help you dear?" Her voice was soft and caring like a mothers. Her name tag read Joyce, which was embellished with little sticker face and angel. I imagined she was usually a nurse on the pediatric floor.

As I opened my mouth to speak, a sickening metallic taste rose on my tongue and my stomach churned uncomfortably. I swallowed hard.

"Yes. . .um Tommy Ratliff. They brought him in on an ambulance. . ."

The woman dropped her stack of papers on the counter, and started typing something into the computer. "Lets see what I can do."

As I waited for Joyce, I tried to steady my breathing to keep form passing out. I was using the counter as a crutch incase I felt like I was going to fall. Things seemed to be moving in a rush around me and it was hard to stand straight. My body was weak and shock was making it difficult to do much of anything; not to mention my shaking hands and tunneling vision.

When the woman turned around, a solemn, but controlled expression met me. I felt all the blood and warmth drain from my face.

"Tommy Joe Ratliff is currently in the ICU, and unable to be visited right now." she explained.

I stared at her, unable to speak. I had to see him. She looked at me kindly. "Why don't you go home, get some rest and come back in the morning."

I shook my head. "No. I can't do that. You don't understand. I need to see him. . .he needs to see me." Tears started to work their way to the surface as I spoke. "Please, I have to see him."

Joyce looked at me a long time, her soft eyes glistening as they, themselves seemed to start watering. She came around counter, and with gentle hands, lead me to a small sitting area. "I will see what I can do. Okay?"

I only nodded, far too upset to even utter a noise. As she walked back to her place at the reception desk, I was thinking that this couldn't be happening. It was so surreal, This was a dream, it had to be. Soon I would wake up, and Tommy would be laying sound asleep and safe beside me.

This just couldn't be happening, not to Tommy. Not to my baby.

* * *

**A/N: . . .CLIFFHANGER!. . . don't hate me. . .cuz i gonna post the next chapters really soon, just cuz im almost done! but please leave me a review! and i LOVED all the LONG reviews you guys left me. It was awesme to see what parts/quotes were your favorite! I hope i get more like that, and i have a feeling i will. lol ;) im gonna keep it short so i can get this posted and you can read it!**

****Thanks for the reviews! ;) i loved every single one!**


	12. November Rain

*****DISCLAIMER*****

**Tommy:** _(frowning.)_ Why do you do this?

**Me:** Do what?

**Tommy:** _(glaring)_ You know what. . .

**Adam:** _(to Tommy)_ Hon, I don't think she does know.

**Tommy: **No, she knows, she just won't admit it.

**Me:** Admit what?

**Tommy:** That you live to abuse me!

**Me:** You haven't even read this chapter yet. . .(holds out note book.)

**Tommy:** _(gets out of Adams lap and somps over and takes it, and sits back in Adams lap.) _You better not leave this at a nother cliff hanger or else.

**Me:** Or else what?

**Tommy:** I don't know yet, now shut up so I can read!

**Me:**_ (to the readers.)_ Looks like Tommys PMSing again...oh well haha enjoy this chapter, I don't own Bitchy Kitty or Glamy either...{yes new nicknames ;) }

* * *

~CHAPTER TWELVE~

"So never mind the darkness

We still can find a way

Cause nothing lasts forever

Even cold November rain."

In my dream I wasn't floating, or flying; or any other activity that was associated with dreams. I was simply laying in my bed room. The Californian sun was peeking through the heavy drapes, filling the room with it's blissfully yellow shine and soothing warmth. Beside me, Tommy was sleeping peacefully, with a smile on his perfect, glossy lips. That's how I knew this beautiful moment was only a cruel mind game.

Tommy's chest rose and fell in a rhythm much like my own, but none the less it still fascinated me. He fascinated me. We were close to each other. Our fingers intertwined in a know so tight I doubted my ability to release it. His head was nestled close to my shoulder, and I could feel each breath he took brush across my naked skin. I was content in this moment, and would be forever. Happiness was hard to come by, but this was all I needed to be happy. I wondered if this was what Tommy meant by 'simple' earlier. Together, we were free from the outside world and it's evils. There was no hurt or injury, just us, the way I wished it could be.

"You may see him now." Joyce's voice said as she tapped my shoulder, pulling me from my dream.

I couldn't tell what time it was, nor did I want to know. Early morning I guessed. I couldn't have been asleep longer then a few hours. My first objective when I comprehended what the nurse has spoken was to read the look on her face, hoping for some sort of reassurance. Instead, her face was like a blank canvas. It was marked by many years of dealing with broken hearts and wounded souls. She showed neither fear nor hope, just a painted on smile to hide the truth.

I slowly stood from the chair, stretching my stiff joints. "What floor?" I asked.

"Four. Through the elevator right over there."

Joyce pointed to a single, stainless steele door with the words "Intensive Care Unit" painted above it. A chill rippled through out my body, all the way to my finger tips. I hated that floor.

"Thank you." I told her, ignoring the queasy feeling in my gut.

I knew the ICU's of hospitals all too well. After all, I has spent just under a month confind in those kinds of dreary hallways, with nothing but ear piercing silence to greet me. The air was thick with tears and suffering from the sick and the dying. It felt like an other worldly place where it didn't matter if it was night or day because everything blurred around you. I shook all those negative thoughts out of my mind

Joyce returned to her desk chair, and I boarded the over sized elevator. As soon as the doors closed I felt light headed and trapped. I stumbled back against the wall, and gripped my wrist that held all the memories in jagged scars. My fingers rubbed the smooth, raised skin over and over until the doors opened to floor number four.

I wanted to run as soon as the door opened, recognizing the dismal atmosphere right away. It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and I just stood there, frozen by fear until the doors started to close again. When I stepped out, two nurses were working at their station. One was busy messing with medication bottles, while the other talked on a black spiral corded phone. The rounder nurse who was working with the medicine was the first one to see me and she scowled.

"You can't be up here. Visiting hours ended at nine." she told me harshly.

I opened my mouth to speak, when the nurse who was on the phone stood, placed the device back on the receiver and whispered something to the other nurse. She smiled at me when she turned back around. She was young, probably fresh out to med school. Her curly brown hair was pulled back into a pony tail and it bounced when she moved.

"I'm Maggie." she said sweetly. "Are you here to see Tommy?"

I nodded, swallowing upon seeing the grief stricken look on her face. Maggie hadn't learnt how to hide he expressions like most whom had been working in the same circumstances. I couldn't help but think how brave these women and men were that worked as nurses. I liked to help people, but I tended to get attached too quickly, and then when they were gone I wouldn't have been able to take it.

"He's in room 404. Down that hallway." she informed me.

My eyes followed hers down the hall to my right. It seemed to stretch on forever. The white walls and obtuse lighting were too similar to the ones that cadged me in back in Indianapolis. But I couldn't let my personal problems get in the way of seeing Tommy.

"You don't like hospitals do you?" Maggie asked softly.

I nodded agian.

"I'll take you to him then."

She walked to my side and gave me a quick smile. "Come on hon."

I hoped she was Tommy's nurse. He deserved a kind heart to take care of him. Maybe if my nurses had been like her I wouldn't have hated my stay. If she could make it through all the sadness that came with her occupation, and still maintain her personality, she would be great.

We made our way down the hall; every room we passed was dark and gloomy. More memories flooded back into my head, and I gripped my scared wrist tighter. Maggie stopped just short of room number 404, and faced me. The look she gave me made me nervous.

"I'm going to warn you." she said softly. "The injuries to his head were very severe, and he hasn't woken up since he's been here."

My stomach tossed in a sickening circle. "He's brain dead?"

"No, not quite. The doctors have gotten some brain activity, but he just hasn't woken up."

"Will he?" I almost didn't want to know.

She shrugged."The doctors say it is too early to know. I think they were hoping hearing someone he knew would wake him." She touched my face when it fell. "There is hope." Maggie said looking into my eyes. "If there is anything I can get you. Let me know okay?"

"I will thank you." I muttered quietly.

Maggie walked back down the hall and to her station while I stood outside of Tommy's room. It was dimly lit inside and my ears detected the high pitched beeps of a heart monitor. I wasn't sure what a normal heart was supposed to sound like, I was sure that the sound I heard was not what it was supposed to be like. I was scared of seeing his frail body beaten and bruised, but I had to be there for him.

With a deep breath I stepped inside.

~oOo~

Never in my life had I ever seen a human being attached to so many machines and hoses. It was the most frightening thing my eyes had ever seen. The fact that Tommy was the person in question only made it a million time worse. My heart shattered into a billion pieces and I couldn't breathe. My eyes immediately teared up.

My little Tommy lay practically lifeless in the hospital bed with tubes in his arms and his nose. A large gash had been stitched shut along the left side of his beautiful face and his fore head. Both of his eyes were bruised a nasty color purple.

I stood there just looking at him for a long time, tears silently dropping to the cold tile floor. I felt so helpless and weak. There wasn't a single thing I could do to fix this for him. No matter of kind words or loving embraces and kisses could take away this kind of pain, and it killed me. If only there was a way I could take all of the pain from him, I would endure it, all of it just to know he was okay.

Beside the bed was mediocre looking reclining chair, placed on four pivoting wheels that I used to set close to him. I took he hand in mine- it was so cold- and pressed it gently to my lips. His fingers didn't curl around mine like I wanted them to, instead they stayed cold and lifeless.

"I'm so sorry Tommy. . ." I murmured, as more tears fell down my cheek.

This was my fault. If I had and checked on him before I went to the school, and insisted on taking him to the show, than neither of us would be here. The room was quiet, except for a clock hidden somewhere in the darkness of the small space. The minuet hand filled my ears with a continuous ticking that seemed to be counting down to something, and I didn't like it. I wanted it to stop, and keep it from stealing what time I had left with him.

But time was stubborn, and pass it did like nature intended. It passed in slow lulls that ached like the pulse behind a wound, in a silence that could only be described as defining. Silence was painful when it was the only sound you could hear.

In that time I never moved, not even an inch. My head was groggy and my eyes were heavy from my lack of sleep. I was sure my parents where looking for me. And what about Monte? I could have called my mom to tell him, but she would have just wanted me to come home and that was the last thing I wanted to do at this point. If I left and Tommy woke up, even just for a second, and I wasn't here beside him, I would never live with myself. Tommy needed me to be his crutch, which meant I had to be here, and stay strong even when it seemed impossible.

I sat close to him, one hand holding his, the other gently stroking his hair. Maggie came in and gave me another weak smile and waked over to the dry erase board on the wall. She wiped away the old date to put the new one: November 13, 1999. She checked Tommy's charts swiftly and moved on to her next patient.

Sleep deprivation was getting the better of me. I hadn't had a full nights sleep in almost seventeen hours, and every minute the clock ticked away, the heavier my eyelids got. Leaning forward, I rested my head on the mattress, my hand still holding Tommy's. As my eyes fluttered close, I felt a small twitch in my hand. My eyes shot open and I squeezed his fingers tighter.

"Tommy?" I said close to his ear. "Can you hear me?"

I watched, my heart pounding as he slowly opened his eyes. They were only narrow slits, but I could feel a new wave of tears coming.

"Oh my God. Tommy!" I softly kissed his cheek.

"A-Adam?"

My heart fell when I heard how low and labored his voice was. That little spit fire inside him had been extinguished. I brushed the hair from his eyes, and tried to smile at him.

"Sh sh sh" I cooed, smoothing his hair back.

I didn't want to cry in front of him. He didn't need to see me like this. I was supposed to be the strong and unbreakable one when he needed me to be. But I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by emotion.

Tommy shuffled weakly, cringing in pain.

"Don't." I whispered. I couldn't even imagine the pain he was in.

He was quiet a moment, taking shallow breaths. I watched his chest rise and fall like in my dream, only this time it was different.

"This. . .fucking. . .sucks. . ." Tommy whispered weakly. I allowed a slight smile to touch my lips for his sake. He didn't know how much I loved that foul mouth on him.

It was silent a moment more, and the ticking clock mixed with the shrill, slow beeps of Tommy's heart. I didn't want to hear either of them. The ticking or the beeping. They were both making me crazy, and they made my skin crawl.

"This is my fault." I murmured, rubbing my thumb along the cool skin of his hand. Tommy managed to roll his eyes and groan weakly.

"Don't you start. . ." He paused and took a few quick breaths. "Y-you had n-nothing. . .to do with this."

My vision blurred with tears. Who know a person was capable of crying so much.

"And. . .I don't . . .want . . . you cryin over me. . ." he stopped, closed his eyes for a short time, then slowly reopend them. "I'm. . .not worth it."

"Yes you are!" I disagreed.

Tommy shook his head, but didn't' say anything for a while.

"I want you to. . .promise me something." he breathed.

"Anything." I whispered.

"I don't want. . .you to give up. On anything. . .and n-never let anyone. . .tell you . . that you can't do it. . .because I know you can. . .fuck all the haters. . .don't you ever listen to them Adam."

The tears were streaming down my face by this the time his fragile voice finished speaking. "I won't, I swear I won't." I told him. "But you will be there with me. . ."

"Maybe. . ." Tommy murmured. "maybe not. . ."

"I know you will." I weeped.

It was quiet a moment and Tommy found the strength to pull his hand from mine and wipe one of my tears away.

"I'm. . .not afraid you know. Of dying. Not anymore. . .The way my life has gong, death will finally set me free. . .I j-just want to know. . .that you will. . .be okay."

My voice escaped me. Surely Tommy wasn't saying this, surely this wasn't happening. It just couldn't be. Why would this happen. Why? A crushing wave of anguish struck me, and I couldn't function. I didn't want to hear this. He needed me as much as I needed him.

"You saved me from myself Adam. . ." he continued. "Y-you showed me that not. . .not everything was bad. . .and even in the darkness there is light. Y-you are my light Adam. . .life was easier around you. . .that was all I wanted. . .and you brought it to me. . .just don't leave me."

His weak eyes bore into mine so deeply it froze my soul. I couldn't fully see the warm chocoate brown I loved so much, but it didn't matter. I would never forget them as long as I lived.

"Never." I promised. "I will never leave you Tommy."

Very gently I climbed into the bed next to him, molding myself to his side. His body was trembling and I draped the thin blanket around both of us. My arm wrapped around his torso, and his fingers squeezed mine.

"Adam." he murmured, "W-why were you upset the other day?"

I thought back to two days ago. "I wasn't upset. I was falling for you, and never thought I would actually have you." I smiled weakly.

Why was life so utterly cruel? How come things like this happened to the good people? I couldn't stand it. Tommy was so strong, and so young. His time couldn't really be up already. He was barely eighteen. It made me mad that life did this to people.

"Sing to me Adam." Tommy asked softly.

I didn't hesitate, and started singing the first song that came into my mind. It was the one that had been on the radio earlier. Listening to it then, I hadn't realized the irony of it as the rain fell around me.

_When I look into your eyes_

_I can see a love restrained_

_But darlin' when I hold you_

_Don't you know I feel the same_

_'Cause nothin' lasts forever _

_And we both know hearts can change_

_And it's hard to hold a candle _

_In the cold November rain._

Tommy's breathes were soft, as he tried to hum along, still gripping my fingers as tight as his weak body would allow.

_If we could take the time_

_To lay it on the line_

_I could rest my head_

_Just knowin' that you were mine_

_All mine _

_So if want to love me_

_Then darlin' don't refrain_

_Or I'll just end up walkin' _

_In the cold November rain._

I let my tears fall full force because I just couldn't hold them back any longer. But despite the tears, my voice was sturdy as I sung the last verse.

_And when your fears subside_

_And shadows still reamian_

_I know that you can love me_

_When there's no one left to blame_

_So never mind the darkness _

_We still can find a way_

_'Cause nothin' lasts forever_

_Even cold November rain. _

When the last lyrics left my lips, Tommy's voice spoke so quietly, it was almost inaudible.

"I love you Adam."

"I love you always. . ." I weeped.

* * *

**A/N: Okay first of all, it is a cliff hanger and Tommys going to throw a fit, second ONE MORE chapter! And I'm not telling you a thing! haha I know im evil. But I loved all the reviews...even if some of them were about how much you were trying not to hate me! lol it's okay i love you all anyway! haha ;) Stay tuned, and leave me a review please *heart!***


	13. Epilouge: Aftermath

*****DISCLIMER*****

**Tommy: **What! You can't just leave it like that!

**Adam:** Sure she can, she's the auther.

**Me:** I'm Sorry!

**Tommy:** I don't wanna talk, just give me the damn story so know what happenes!

**Me:** _(hands Tommy the note book) _

**Tommy:** _(Takes it and runs off)_

**Adam:** _(shakes head)_

**Me: **You gonna read it too?

**Adam:** _(nodds)_ Yeah, I just want him to settle down first. (looks at me) And you might wanna run.

**Me:** _(confused)_ Why?

**Adam: **_(points to angry mob of readers)_ Thats why.

**Me:** Oh shit. . .

**Adam:** Yeah. . .

**Me: **I don't own Adam or Tommy! (takes off running.)

* * *

"Just remember you're not alone

In the aftermath..."

-Aftermath

~Ten Years Later~

The suns rays radiated across the vast summer sky in every possible direction. The bright beams on my face and the cool wind that careressed my cheeks made me smile. The breeze blowing my silky black hair and the emerald green grass clensed my scences. So quiet and peaceful.

I sat on the damp ground, my back against cool granite. Who would have thought this was the place I wanted to visit before I left. There were so many other places I could have gone, but this place was where I would reget not visiting the most. The crew found it odd when I told them to stop here on the way out of town, but I was the one that signed their pay checks so to speak, so they didn't argue.

Hollywood always gave cemetaries a bad reputaiton as scary and haunted, when I found tranquility in one seen them like I did. They were a secluded, quiet place where our loved ones we put to rest. They blossomed in ever color and hue from the bouquet arrangements, and the black and grey granite sparkled in the dazzling sun. They were beautiful in their own special way. Never the less, they still brought on waves of sadness and I was no different. While I found their shady trees and peaceful atmosphere alluring, I couldn't help but feel my heart sink a little for my own personal reasons. The stone in particular that brought this sadness to me was the one that I placed myself against. The name ingraved onto the polished stone read:

Tommy Joe Ratliff October 18, 1981 - November 13, 1999.

I stilled remembered that Saturday morning almost 11 yrs ago. Back then I didn't think I would ever make it after that, but somehow I did. That was a dark time in my life, even darker then before I moved here. But the struggles were fought and I conqured them with the help of Tommys words. Words I would never forget as long as I lived. He was my insparation for so many different things.

"Do you remember what you told me that day?" I said aloud even though no living person was around. I waited, as if to recieve and answer, but knew I wasn't going to get one.

"You told me not to give up, and never let anyone tell me what to do." Some how I knew he could hear me, where ever he was.

"Well I didn't." I said, wiping a single tear away from my eye. The black liner I wore left dark residue on the side of my finger, and I drug my stained skin across the grass to remove it. "And I'm living my dream. Getting ready to start my first tour...I can hardly believe it."

I fiddled with the single red rose I had been holding in my hand. No one decorated his lonely stone. He had no brothers or sisters, and his mother didn't even bother. But the plot itself was decoration enough. The willow tree looming over the granite stone created shade, and teh view from the hill on which it was palced as breathtaking.

Coming here was harder then I thought, even after all of these years. I guess no matter how much time passed, you still missed the ones that were gone. It was hard to let him go, even though I knew I never could. After all, I had promised him I would never leave. If he was always with me, then I was always with him.

But things were changing again. My first album was a hit in over a dozen different countries, I had millions of fans aching for something new, the tour was practicaly sold out already. I had so much to be thankful for.

"I wish you could come with me Tommy, play with Monte in the band. . ." My voice trailed off, riminicing on that short time the two of us shared together. I could remember it all like it was yesterday, when it felt like a life time had passed. There was so much we wanted to do together, and I hated thinking about them all, because they only made the sorrow worse. What would have happened to us after school? Where would we be? I didn't even what to think about it.

I never spoke about Tommy to anyone, he was too precious to me, so I kept him locked in my heart. He was the first person I had ever fallen in love with, and a large chunk of my heart still belonged only to him. I wouldn't let anything, not even death tare us apart.

The soft sound of foot steps drew me out of my day dream and back to where I was.

"We're all set to go." Monte said.

The past ten years had barely changed him. We might not have been very close in school, but now he was my best friend. Tommy's passing was hard on him too. He and Tommy had been friends way longer then I had been with them. Those two knew each other in elementary school. I only knew Tommy for a few months.

Monte stood with his hands in his pockets, looking at the name etched into the stone. I got to my feet and looked at it with him, wiping the last tear from my eye. "I'll be there in a second." I told Monte, placing the rose on the top of the black granite. He didn't say anything, he just placed a gental hand on my shoulder an walke away.

Loneliness was an odd feeling. It was neither painful nor painless. It was simply a feeling of emptiness. Sometimes that hollow feeling ingulfed us, leaving us broken to the point when it was near impossiple to pick up the shattered as time moved on, slowly you become hole again, even if the pieces don't quite fit the way they used to. Life moved on, things get easier, even though the small part of you stuck in the deep emptiness still pulled at your aching heart. You started to realize things were the same but different at the same time. The ones you loved still love you. Day still turned to night and night became day. The cycle continued even after you had been broken, and nothing could ever stop were all delt ceartain cards when we came into this life. Some were given winning cards from the beginning and life never gave them a struggle. Some were given bad hands at the start and folded, giving up on life from the beggining. Then there were the few who were given both kinds of cards. Life for them wasn't painless but it also wasn't as bad as others. Too often those people didn't make it through the struggle, either by choice or fate, they stopped, and life ended. Tommy was one if those few.

That was what got to me the most about the whole thing. After everthing life had thrown at him, he struggled through it, like it or not he did. But for some odd reason, life was unbelieveably crule, and it had stolen him from me; letting his mother live on. I wan't bitter because she was the one still living a pethtic excuse of a life, it was that Tommy deserved it more then she did. I just didn't see the logic in letting her live and letting him die. It wasn't fair, and for a time it had destroyed me. But the pieces, distorted and misshapen, somehow fused together again. Tommy's words helped me in those dark times. I knew this new life wasn't going to be a breeze, but I would live it with my head held high because I knew that would be how Tommy would have liked it.

"This isn't good bye." I whispered, swallowing the growing lump in my throat. "It will never be good bye."

I couldn't help but feel like I was abandoning him by going on this tour. With a heavy sigh, and a few more stray tears, I ran my fingers through my hair.

"I love you Tommy." I murmured.

I pressed two fingertips to my lips, and then touched them to his name. He would always be with me, and I would always be with him no matter the distance between us.

* * *

**Me:** _(hiding behind a rook from the angry mob who is out to get me.)_

**Adam:** Well that was depressing. . .

**Me:** _(Jumps not hearing him approach) _Oh!. . .um. . .yeah I'm sorry. . .I like writing depressing stuff.

**Adam:** (nodds)

**Me:** So Tommy?

**Adam:**_(smiles slightly) _Cried. . .

**Me: **Really? What about you.

**Adam:** I got teary eyed.

**Me:** _(blushes, flattered that it made him cry.)_ But was Tommy crying because he was the one that died or because it was sad?

**Adam: **_(thinks)_ Both. . .

**Tommy:**_ (red puffy eyed) _Hell yes it was both! How could you?

**Me:** _(cowers a little) _I'm sorry. . .I planned it from the beginning.

**Tommy:** _(scowls) _You knew from the beginning and you still insisted I read it!

**Adam:** _(squeezes Tommy in his arms.)_ Calm down Glitters _(looks at me)_ You know that the Glam Nation Tour wouldn't have been the same without him.

**Me:** I know. . .but you still liked it didn't you?

**Adam:** Yes, of course.

**Tommy:** _(shruggs and sighs)_ I guess.

**Me:** Aww. . .well I'm glad you guys read it with me! (to the readers) I'm sorry it had to end this way, but I was seeing how far I could stretch my emotional writing abilities...so you were sota my gunni-pigs so to speak. If you want stuff a little less dramatic, look at my **ADOMMY SHUFFLES, NAKED** or **YOU AND ME FOR ETERNITY**. And if you like the depressing stuff, stay tunned for my prequal, I already have part of it writtin, and** BLOOD LUST **is kinda sad, but one of my favorite things I've written. But I want to thank all of you guys; _Whatsernamelambert, Surefireglambert, ForeverAdommy, xxGlambert2010xx, Glambert5O85, Rockgirl51996, sister momo, Wragziez, fannatic3 _and anyone else who i may have forgotton. I loved reading all of your reviews as much as you loved reading my stories. I hope you all read the prequal, it should be up shortly, but don't blame me if I take a short break, this updating thing is kinda draining, but i love you all none the less. ;D Thank ya soooooooooooooooo much, and happy reading.

**~Jackie/Glampire92**

P.S and don't worry, Adam and Tommy will both return to help with the disclaimers in the up coming prequal, only if i get reviews tho! ;)


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